A New Start
by Mostwanted457
Summary: TROYELLA!3 Gabriella feels lost after the death of her father and can't seem to move on. When she and her mom move Gabriella is thrown into a new setting but still stuck with her old hurtings and burdens. Will she ever move on? Will the nightmare ever stop? Will she give her new friends a chance? Will she give HERSELF a chance?
1. Chapter 1

**First HSM fanfic! Hope it's good!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

I bumped into him hard and all my books fell to the ground. I fell, too. Everybody paused and looked at me, and I hated every minute of it.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there, it was an accident." Said the dreamiest boy ever. He had dark hair, tan skin, and deep brown eyes.

That moment, when I hit the ground and he extended his hand to me, that moment could have been the perfect romantic moment. If I had blushed prettily and stammered a shy sorry, I could've been living a romantic dream.

I could have, but not quite.

Instead I snapped sarcastically back, "No kidding captain obvious. I just assumed you did it on purpose. Yeah, I never would've guessed it was an accident." I shook my head up at him and rejected the hand he had extended to me with a swat of my hand.

And that was the abrupt and rude end of the moment.

The boy looked at me angrily, then walked off. I internally sighed as I realized how I had just missed my chance with him, in fact I practically spit in his face. Too late now, though, he was gone and I was left here in the middle of a busy hallway with my books spread far and wide.

So much for a great first day. I felt frustrated tears begin spilling over my eyelids. Great, just great, as if my situation could get any worse and now I was about to cry in front of everyone. I angrily swiped the tears away and ignored the stares that followed me as I scrambled on the floor trying to pick up all my stuff before somebody stepped on something.

In my frenzy to pick up everything it's surprising that I looked up just in time to see a hand reach down to grab one of my binders.

"Hey! That's mine, give it back! It's mine!" I yelled at whoever was grabbing it.

It was a boy with sandy-blonde hair, pretty blue eyes, and lightly tanned skin, he didn't seem the least upset by my yelling, instead he walked over and gave me my binder, saying softly, "Let me help you with that."

And he did help me, collecting all my stuff in a neat pile. Before I had a chance to register what just happened, he helped me get up, handed me my pile of books, and flashed a handsome smile my way.

"There you go." he said adding the last pen on top of my pile.

Now, the correct response from me would've been thank you, but instead I said, "What ever. You could've told me you were helping me, otherwise I wouldn't have yelled at you like that. Everybody looked at me like I was weird because of that." I complained to him when I should've been thanking him.

He shrugged and replied, "Sorry, you're right, I should've warned you."

I nodded my bitter approval at his apology and stalked away, mustering up as much pride as I could, which, at that moment, wasn't much.

When school was finally over, I was stressed and exhausted. As soon as I got in my mom's car she asked how my day was. I simply groaned a response. She didn't question me further, and I didn't tell her more.

When we got home I went straight to my bedroom and laid down on my bed face-down. I wanted to cry, to sob, to scream, to do something that would let out all this pent up anger and frustration inside me. This was the first big move in my life and I didn't like it. I was shy by nature and didn't do so well in the whole friend making process, so you can imagine the horror I felt when I found out we (that is, just me and my mom, I have no siblings) would be moving. Moving away from my friends, my family, my school, my old home.

My old home. The memories it held, that house was the hardest to let go. I felt like I was leaving a piece of me behind. In that house were the memories of my father, before he passed away, at least.

Tears blurred my vision yet again, as I remembered the strong, passionate man who was my father. He died when I was only 10, 5 years ago, and I had never been able to accept the fact that he was gone. I didn't want to accept he was gone, I wanted to try and hold on to him for as long as I could. that house was like a way to hold on to him, and that's why it felt impossible to let it go, to let my father go.

My mother, on the other hand, spent all her time _trying_ to forget my father. She actually _wanted _to let him go. She told me that the reason we moved was because she could get a great job opportunity here, but I knew that it was really so that she could get away from it all, all the memories, all the reminders, everything and anything having to do with my father.

Of course I told her we couldn't move, I begged her not to, I even demanded that we don't, but she over ruled me and now we were here. I haven't really said anything to her since, all I would tell her anyways is that I hate this place and that I hate her for making us move here.

"Gabriella! Dinner time!" My mother's voice carried up the stairs.

I slid off my bed and shoved my brown wavy hair out of my face and stumbled down the stairs. I entered the small dining room and saw that, once again, pizza would be served for dinner. I sat down in a seat as far away from my mother as possible and ate.

"Ella," She said using the nickname my father used to use, "I'm sorry about the move. I'm sure things will be better once we get settled in. I know you miss your friends back home, but we, well really I, needed to get away. We can't dwell in the past forever. You'll make new friends here. It won't be so bad."

"I guess you're right on that part," I replied, "It won't be so bad." Her face brightened, "It will be worse."

My mom's face turned red and she burst out, " **I have had enough of you blaming me for everything, I'm only trying to help! I can't help that your father's dead, it's not my fault! He is dead, though, so get used to it. He's never coming back! NEVER! We live here now, this is our new start! I'm trying to do what's best for both of us! Your father is gone, staying in our old house won't make it easier to let go, but you can't hold on either! YOUR FATHER IS GONE!"**

**I stared at her, horrified. When she said it out loud, she forced me to accept the fact that I had lost my father forever. It suddenly became a reality, and I didn't know how to reverse it. I ran out of the dining room and sprinted up the stairs into my bedroom. I slammed the door and locked it, then collapsed onto my bed. My mom beat on the door for a while, then gave up after I continued to ignore her. Then, I cried myself to sleep and woke up with tear stains on my face early the next morning. i sat in my bed just staring, lost in dark thoughts.**

**My dad was gone, and he would never come back. My mother told me so. Her words made what I had been trying to deny true. He was never coming back, I would never be held by my father again. I felt alone, abandoned, and the world felt so dark around me. It was overwhelming, I was being crushed under life's heavy burdens. Who cared about friends or grades, or even about moving. My mother just confirmed my worst nightmare. I knew it was true all along, but now I could no longer pretend. **

**My dad was dead, gone from me forever.**


	2. Chapter 2

I slid off my bed and pulled on some random clothes, who cares how looked. I didn't know any of the people at my new school and I had no intention of getting to know them, so why should I dress up for them? Then I staggered down the stairs. My mom wasn't up yet.

_Probably sulking in her room_, I thought angrily.

I fell back into my chair and gulped down the cereal in my bowl. Every now and then while I ate a tear drop would slide down my face. Occasionally, I would let out a little sob, but I usually tried to suppress it, I didn't need my mom catching me like this.

When I was done, I grabbed my back pack and packed a quick bag lunch, I hated school lunches, they were never good. Before high school, I used to think mystery meat was just a myth to scare middle schoolers, apparently they weren't just stories. At least at my old school. My chest tightened at the thought of my old school

I stood waiting at the door for a while, checking the clock every now and then. Sure, I didn't like school, but I didn't like being late to school either.

Finally, when there were only 30 minutes until school started, I decided to wake my mom up since she obviously wasn't getting up on her own. When I was right outside her door, I hesitated. I swallowed my tears, made sure my nose and eyes weren't red any more, and straightened up my clothes and hair. My face was blank, almost bored, no hint of last night's traumas or this mornings emotions showed up on my face. I was ready.

I knocked on the door, confident and commanding, I was not going to be a little girl crying to her mother. I was just a person who needed a ride to school.

"A person who wants her permit and a car." I grumbled under my breath. Then I stopped mid-sentence as my mother opened the door.

She had not spent any time trying to clean up for me. Her hair was a tangled mess on top of her head. Her eyes were blood-shot, red, and had bags underneath. Her lips trembled as she took deep breaths. There was no attempt to stifle her sobs. Her clothes were a mangled mess, and I noticed she had bitten her usually neatly trimmed nails off into little, jagged stubs.

If I had not been so mad at her, I would've felt sorry for her pathetic figure. She looked frail and lost, very lost. For a second, I actually did feel sorry for her. I shook my head. I couldn't feel sorry for her. She brought this upon herself by making us move here. She got what was coming to her. She was off much worse than I was and it was all her fault. I wasn't the one who said those terrible things last night, she was. Now here was her punishment.

I could've felt triumphant at the moment, I could've rubbed victory in her face, but it didn't feel right. It wasn't right. I felt bad for her, and I wanted to tell her that I wasn't mad at her anymore, but, yet again, the words wouldn't come into my mouth.

All I could say as I stood over her wavering figure was, "I need a ride to school, could you drive me?"

"Honey," My mom's voice quavered and faltered, "I'm...I'm sorry..."

I acted like I didn't hear it and continued, "I'd really prefer not walking all the way to school, can't you just drive me?"

"Not today... How about we just stay home today, I don't think I can go anywhere. I need to rest today."

If there was one thing I wanted to do less than go to school, it was to stay home with my mom when she was like this. I couldn't bear, I wouldn't bear it.

"I really want to go to school today." I replied, trying to sound apologetic, though probably failing miserably," I want to," I paused, trying to think up some believable reason, "I want to get to know people before we get too far into the school year. I don't want to miss out anything, it's a new school, I want to get to know how things work around here."

"O...Okay, Ella." My mom said back shakily, "I...I understand, but I can't drive you, not like this...You're going to have to walk."

I nodded and uncomfortably walked away, not sure if I should say anything. Too late did I call back, "Uh...I love you." because my mom had already shut the door.

I sighed. Why was it that I never knew how to act in situations like these. Or really, in my case, in any situation. I couldn't flirt, I couldn't console. I wasn't witty, or charming, or clever. I wasn't interesting, eye-catching, or bright. I was just me, and just me had no idea how to act in a situation, so just me usually ended up acting awkward.

I started out the door, trying to push the thoughts away. Trying to push all my thoughts away. It was hard and took a lot of focus and concentration.

I was so busy doing this that at first I didn't notice the slowly approaching truck. Only until it stopped in front of me, did I look up distrustfully. It was a beat-up old truck, but it wasn't the truck that got my attention, it was the person who stepped out of the truck.

She came out of the passenger's side, and she was gorgeous.

_There's another thing I 'm not, I'm not pretty, I thought bitterly, picturing the way I looked in the mirror this morning, with my old ripped jeans, my light blue T-shirt and the ugly, old sweater I wore when I needed comfort. I was slim and my legs were long and prettily tanned, but with my saggy jeans, and over-sized sweater, neither of those things were complemented. My wavy, brown hair, was thick and luscious, and would have been pretty if not for the fact that it had gotten messed up in the wind. My face was, well let's just say I forgot to put make-up on, so all my natural beauty was showing, including a zit on my forehead. My natural, thick eyelashes were probably the only thing going for me, or the only thing I considered pretty about me. _

_My eyes moved back onto the girl. She had long blonde hair that had the slightest wave in it. The wave made it so that her hair curled around one side of her face. Her smile flashed bright white teeth under hot pink lips. Her skin was tannish, though not as tan as mine. She was curvy, and her clothes only accentuated it more. She wore a short pink skirt that revealed long, pretty legs, and a pink and white shirt that hugged her body. On her feet were bright pink boots that went up to her knees. _

_I was busy taking in her appearance when the driver got out. It was a boy, and he was oddly familiar. The girl walked over to him, her hands on her hips._

"_Troy, why did you stop? You know I don't want to be late. Anyways, there are like puddles everywhere, I don't want to get my boots dirty, they are brand new." She stomped her brand new boot on the ground impatiently as she complained to him._

_He replied vaguely, "Then get back in the car. I didn't ask you to come out."_

"_But why are we stopping?" She whined, in the prissiest voice I had ever heard. He had to get annoyed listening to that all the time. I had only been here for a few minutes and I was already annoyed._

_Crap! That reminded me, I needed to get to school, I still had a ways to go. I started walking again, moving to the right of the truck. The boy came up to me as I attempted to pass his truck without being noticed. Apparently it didn't work. _

"_Hey, wait!" He called. I stopped walking, but didn't look back. "Are you heading to school too?"_

_I slowly turned around, "Yeah, so... Why are you asking?"_

"_Well, we," He pointed to himself and the pouting pink girl," Are heading to school too. I could give you a ride if you want."_

"_What!" Shouted the girl indignantly._

_He cut her off, "Don't be a brat Sharpay." She crossed her arms and went back inside the truck._

_The boy stayed out, waiting for my answer. I was waiting for my answer too. I didn't usually go in a stranger's car, but he seemed familiar, and I had to admit that walking was no fun. Then again, he could be waiting to take me away and kill me. That sounded far-fetched, though, even for my imaginative mind. My mom would never have allowed me, yet what was my mom doing now? She was wallowing in self-pity, she would never know. She could assume I walked to school, and neither of us would have been the worst for it. _

_The boy seemed kind enough, so I finally gave my answer, "Okay, I guess I'll go with you...Unless, she doesn't want me to." I motioned toward the truck where Sharpay was glaring at me._

"_Naw, she won't mind. Come on in." He walked towards the truck, leading the way. I followed uneasily behind. _

_The trunk was cramped, hardly enough room for the three of us in the front. I got stuck in the middle, with Troy on my left and Sharpay on my right. Already I could tell I made the wrong choice by choosing to accept the boy's offer. This car ride was not going to be fun._

_The whole drive, Troy chatted away, trying to break the ice. I tried to listen, but I found out that it's pretty hard to do that when somebody's giving you the death glare the whole time. _

_When the car ride was finally over, I was about ready to jump out of the car just to get away from the dirty looks Sharpay was giving me. _

_Troy got out first. I would've been able to get out myself, but Troy insisted on helping me. As I took his hand and climbed out, I suddenly recognized him. He was the boy from yesterday who had helped me clean up my books._

_Now, If I had been a charming and romantic person, I could've made that moment mean something. As he helped me out of his truck, I could've said something like, "Thank you once again," or 'Don't leave yet, I might need you for something else." or "I don't know how to thank you, if you keep on helping me I'll never be able to repay you."_

_Instead, I said, "Thanks for the ride. Uh, yeah, thanks." Then I started walking away._

_He called me back, "Wait!" I turned around, hiding the surprise I felt at being called back by him. I mean, who was this kid? Did he do this to all the new kids? What was with all the kindness?_

"_Yes?" I asked nonchalantly, with a hint of impatience, acting as if I needed to get somewhere. (In truth, I wasn't going anywhere, cause I didn't exactly know where to go.) _

"_I was wondering if you wanted a ride back after school, cause I would be pleased to give you one." _

"_Seriously/" I asked. I intended it to be a happy surprise, but it turned out more disdainful._

"_Well, you don't have to if you don't want to.' He remarked a bit coldly._

"_No, wait, I didn't mean it like that." I said, beginning to panic, "I'm honored just really surprised."_

"_So is that a yes?" Troy asked, smiling._

"_It, well...actually...Is." I leaned closer to him so just he would hear, "Is Sharpay going to ride with you again?" _

_He saw the worried expression on my face and laughed, "No, don't worry. I usually don't pick her up anyways. This is the first and only time I'll be driving her any where. She will not be with us."_

"_Then yes," I said. His face brightened and I wondered why. If it were me, I'd be upset. Just one more stop on the way home._

_Then, again, maybe it's best he's not like me. I walked to my locker, a little happy, and a little uneasy. _

_Why was he being so nice to me?_


	3. Chapter 3

I spent the rest of the day trying to blend in as much as possible. It would've been pretty easy if it hadn't been for the fact that I kept ending up late for my classes.

Troy was in some of my classes, and he would always flash a smile my way when I came to class. If we ever bumped in the hallway he would call out a greeting to me.

I always tried to ignore it. I just couldn't figure out why he was acting so nice to me. I assumed it meant something bad. I didn't trust his smiles, they were too happy to see me. I mean, what was a guy like him, who is popular and who all the girls love, doing being so nice to a girl like me? It just didn't add up.

At lunch I sat by myself. Troy tried to wave me over to sit with him and his friends, but the pink girl, Sharpay, and a bunch of jocks were his friends, and I didn't feel like sitting with those kind of people.

When I finished my lunch, I took out a book to read until the lunch period was over. That's when she sat down with me.

She had dark skin, dark hair, and a "Don't even think about messing around with me" look to her. She turned to me, "Hi!"

I looked up, "Uh, hi?"

"I'm Taylor. I am in pretty much all of your classes. You're new here right?"

"Yeah."

"It's pretty obvious."

"Sure."

"Anyways, the reason I came over here was that I wanted to give you a word of advice. You'd do best to not hang out with them."

"Them?"

"You know, Troy's group." She jerked her head toward the table where Troy was sitting.

"What? You think I would actually choose to hang out with those people?" I asked incredulously .

"Well, you did show up in his car when you got to school. I see now, though, that you're not like them." I nodded. She continued, a lot more friendlier this time, "So, do you need any help finding your classes. I think that I am in all of yours. You're in honors and GT classes, right?"

"Yeah, I am. And yes, I would be very grateful for some help finding my classes."

"Cool. Do you want to sit with my group of friends for the rest of the lunch period?" She asked sweetly.

I sat for a moment. It was nice to sit alone, but I couldn't help but look longingly at the cheerful groups around me. Maybe just today... "Sure, thanks." I closed my book, stuck it in my bag, and followed her towards the table with all her friends.

"Oh! By the way, my name is Gabriella." I added before we got to the table.

When we got to the table, Taylor introduced me to everybody. Some of them I recognized from class, others were completely new. At first they didn't say much, but kept taking side glances at me, but by the end of the period, we were laughing and talking together as if we had known each other for years.

When we left to go to our other classes, Taylor was there to help me. School seemed a lot friendlier when there was someone there to keep you company. By the end of the day I was feeling much better.

Maybe this whole new start thing wasn't such a bad thing...except for the fact that...my home...my dad. I tried not to think about it.

At the end of the day, Taylor and I got to homeroom a little late, as we were busy making fun of one of the teachers accents. When we came in, our faces were red and Taylor even had some tears in her eyes because we had been laughing so hard.

"I never thought anybody could actually slip on a banana peel, but apparently people can, or at least you can-" I stopped mid sentence as we got into the classroom.

We were the last ones there, but this time I didn't really care.

Or I wouldn't have cared if it wasn't for the fact that all the seats were taken except for the one near Troy and the one all the way in the back. Troy motioned me over towards him. I sat down next to him. I heard a couple girls give a jealous sigh. Apparently he had saved this seat just for me, because I had a feeling that otherwise it would've been taken a long time ago.

Our home room teacher must've been in drama or something like that for she was very loud, and very dramatic. In a matter of 15 minutes, she went from deliriously happy, to hysterically sad, to completely furious, and then back again.

By the time the bell rang, I was tired just from watching her.

I grabbed my backpack, and headed outside. I had completely forgotten about the ride home when Troy called me over to his old beat-up truck. I started walking towards him when Taylor grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the side.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"This morning Troy asked if I would like a ride home. I said yes. It beats walking." I replied calmly.

"Well let me just warn you, Troy's known as the heart breaker."

"Really? No way!" I said sarcastically.

"I mean it, he's known for it. And Sharpay,"

"Yes..."

"Sharpay's known as the jealous kind. Don't go getting between her and Troy."

"Oh...So Troy and Sharpay are a couple."

"Well, not exactly. You see, their parents are really good friends, and Troy and Sharpay are kind of expected to be really good friends too. If you know what I mean."

"I get it." I started walking towards Troy again.

"So that doesn't bother you?" She asked.

"What doesn't bother me?" I looked quizzically at her.

"The fact that Troy and Sharpay are sort of together. That doesn't bother you?"

"Why would it?"

"Cause, don't you like him?"

"Taylor, I hardly know him, I don't really care to get to know him, why would I like him?"

"Then, why are you riding with him?"

"Because," I said exasperated, "I need a ride home, he offered me a ride."

"Okay then, whatever you say."

"Ugh, Taylor..." I groaned at her.

"Sorry. Bye!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I finally got to Troy's truck.

"Hey! I thought you forgot for a second." Troy greeted me kindly.

"I kinda did." I said back shyly.

"Well you're here now, hop in." I got in and was glad to see that Troy had kept his word. No Sharpay. "Show me where your home is." I gave him the instructions. He started driving. I didn't say anything, and secretly hoped that he wouldn't say anything either. I didn't feel like talking.

Unfortunately for me, Troy did start talking shortly after we got on the road. "How are you liking the school?"

"It's pretty good...I guess. You know I'm new here?"

"No offense, but it is kind of obvious."

"I guess it is." I agreed.

'I don't think I ever formally introduced myself, I'm Troy."

"I'm Gabriella."

"Do you like basketball?" He randomly asked.

"Uh, what?" I said confused, "I mean, I don't really know. I don't really play much sports. I'm not too athletic. Sports are pretty boring to me. Do you like basketball?"

"Yeah, a little. Well really, a lot. My dad's the coach of East High's basketball team. I'm pretty good at basketball you could say. You should go to a game." The rest of the car ride was spent in silence.

When we got to my house, Troy helped me out again. I thanked him quietly and headed towards the door. Troy grabbed my arm gently, "Hey, do you need a car ride tomorrow?"

I was about to tell him that it depended on what my mom's mood was. She might be feeling better tomorrow, but she might be as crappy as she was today. I knew I couldn't say that to him, though, those were family issues. Should I say yes or no, though, was still the question.

I decided to play it safe, "Yes, if it wouldn't be too much trouble."

Troy looked undeniably happy, "It would be no trouble at all."

"Alright then, bye."

"Bye." He left.

I went inside my house and slammed the door behind me. My mom came out of the kitchen. She looked a little better. At least her clothes were different and her hair had been washed. Still, though, she didn't look great.

"Hey sweetie." My mom welcomed me cheerily, though her voice still held a slight quiver., "How was school?"

"It was okay." I shrugged off my backpack.

"I thought I saw a truck out there. Did somebody drive you home?" My mom's eyebrow went up. Yep, she was back to her old self alright, her old, nosy, cautious self.

"Yeah, somebody dropped me off at school and brought me home."

"Who?"

"Just some guy. He saw me walking to school, asked if I wanted a ride, and then brought me to school and back."

"You mean that you just hopped in a strangers car." My mom accused.

"He wasn't a stranger. I met him on the first day of school." _Sort of_. I added silently to myself.

"Still,' My mom scolded, "You should always ask me about it first."

"Okay, I'm sorry. By the way, he asked if I wanted a ride tomorrow too. I said yes."

My mom groaned at me, "Fine. I'll have to meet him before you leave tomorrow, though. I'm not letting my girl drive off with just anybody."

"Fine by me. What's for dinner?" I asked smelling the air.

"Cheeseburgers. We haven't had a home cooked meal in a while, I felt kind of bad. So we're having burgers tonight."

"Yay! they smell great." I said with genuine happiness. My mom smiled contentedly.

We ate dinner and then I headed up to my room to work on homework. Maybe things would work out, maybe this wasn't so bad, maybe a new start was just what we needed.

Maybe...

**Sorry it took so long, I've been busy with finals. I really hate finals. Anyways, thank you so much for reading, and especially for reviewing, I do enjoy your moral support. Hope you liked it. REVIEW! And any suggestions are welcome. I kind of know how this is all going to work out but I am always open for suggestions!**


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning I woke up with renewed energy. It may've been the fact that my mom had been cheerful last night, it may've been the fact that I had a home cooked meal for once, or it may've just been the simple fact that today was Friday that put me in such a good mood.

I hopped out of bed, and pulled on some jeans and a cute top/jacket. I pulled my hair back into a tight pony tail, and even put in some earrings. Unfortunately, I still forgot to put on make up, so the zit was still showing.

I went downstairs to smell pancakes. Pancakes! My mom never made pancakes. I guessed that she was in a good mood too. Things were working out. There was hope.

I ate a pancake and patiently waited for Troy to show up. He was prompt and came to ring the doorbell in no time.

My mom answered it, "Are you Troy?" She asked sharply.

"Yes ma'am, I am Troy. You must be Gabriella's mother." Responded Troy politely. I stood by silently, curious to see what my mother would say and what Troy would say back. It could be interesting.

"Yes, you may call me Ms. Montez. My daughter told me that you drove her to school and back yesterday. Did you?'

"Yes ma'am, I saw her walking towards school and I offered her a ride. I'm sorry if it caused you to worry." Troy said back with a perfect mixture of honesty and defense of his actions. He added when my mom said nothing back, "If you are okay with it, I can continue to drive her to school for you. I'm a safe driver, and I promise to keep her in the utmost of care."

For some reason, this made me want to laugh. I was like some toy that Troy was borrowing from my mother. It was a 15 minute ride to school, not much can happen, yet my mom was so careful about it.

My mom replied, "We'll see. You can drive her today. Just take good care of her. Now you guys better hurry so that you're not late for school." She shooed us out of the house and I knew that that was her unsaid approval.

I followed Troy to his truck.

As he helped me in, I wondered if I ought to say sorry for my mother. Why should I, though? She was mom, it was her job. I chose not to say anything. Instead, I just smiled at Troy. He seemed surprised at first, then smiled back.

"Wow." He laughed, "Your mom sure is careful about you."

"I can kind of understand. I mean, this is a completely new place. She didn't know you, and I don't really know you...that well." I countered.

"True...true, I was just saying. I'm glad she let you ride with me, though. I like to be with you." He told me softly.

If what he said had deeper meaning, then I completely missed it, for all I said back was, "Yeah, it's nice having you drive me to school. I don't need to worry about my mom, um...being sick..."

Troy nodded and the rest of the ride was in silence. Not the awkward silence, but the peaceful, enjoyable silence. When we got to school, Troy was there, yet again, to help me out of his truck. I took his hand and climbed out. This time I remembered to say thank you.

Troy seemed like he was going to say something to me, but he was cut short by a girly squeal of, "Oh, Trooooy!" And then a flurry of pink was grabbing him and pulling him away. "Troy, oh Troy...Guess what! I got a new car! Come see it! Now you can ride with me to school, not with, well her."

"Hello, I'm right here." I snapped back.

"Sharpay, maybe later, I need to talk to Gabriella." Troy said to her quickly.

"No, you have to see it now! You can talk with her some other time. Come on!" Sharpay demanded, attempting to drag Troy away. Troy looked at me, then followed Sharpay.

I turned and went to my locker. There I found Taylor.

She had her hands on her hips, "You're riding with him again?"

"Uh-huh." I nodded, putting my books in my locker.

"It's only the third day, and you're already caught up with him and his drama."

"I'm sorry, but if he's going to give me a ride I'm taking it. Don't worry, though, that's it. A ride. We're not even really friends. I'm sitting with you at lunch, not him, I'm friends with you, not him, stop nagging."

"Wow."

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, we just sounded like an old married couple."

We laughed, I yelled in an old man voice, "What? What did you say?"

The rest of the day was considerably nice. At homeroom, though, the seat Troy had saved for me was occupied by Sharpay. I shrugged and sat next to Taylor.

While our homeroom teacher wailed on about something, we talked.

"Are you getting dropped off by Troy again?" Asked Taylor.

"I'd assume so, since I don't have another ride."

"Why don't you take the bus, or why doesn't your mom drop you off?"

"First of all, I saw that bus, it's nasty. Nobody would ride in it by choice. You don't ride in it, do you?"

Taylor shook her head quickly, then asked again, "Then why doesn't your mom drive you?"

"She did, but then yesterday, she wasn't feeling too good, so I decided to walk...and...well, I'll explain it to you later, okay?"

"Fine, but when later?"

"Are you busy tonight? You could come to my house."

"I'll call my mom and find out, it'll probably be yes."

The bell rang. Taylor got the stuff from her locker, and then headed towards mine, and called her mom.

"She said yes. I just got to pick up my stuff from my house. Could you give me a ride? Oh, wait, Troy."

"I could ask him. He might be willing." inside I felt bad for offering him to drive us. It made me feel like I was using him, taking advantage of him. "Well, actually, never mind. I don't feel right asking him to do that. I can just call my mom instead."

"Either way's fine with me." Taylor told me as she said good bye to some friends.

I took out my phone and called my mom, "Hey mom, do you think you could pick me up from school...I invited Taylor, one of my friends from school, for a sleep over but she needs to get her stuff. I feel bad asking Troy to drive us there, so I thought you might...Okay...thank you...bye." I hung up and turned around to find not Taylor standing behind me, but Troy.

"Still up for the ride home?" He asked.

"Sorry, but my mom's picking me up."

"Why?" he asked

"Why does it matter so much?" Slipped out of my mouth before I realized what I even said.

"I'm sorry, I was just wondering. No more questions." He pretended to zip his mouth shut.

"No, I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out. The reason my mom is coming is because I didn't want to take advantage of you." I said quickly, my words stumbling out of my mouth without making any real sense.

"This sounds interesting. How so?"

"I invited Taylor over for a sleep over, but she needs to get her stuff, I didn't want to make you have to drive around just to drop us off."

"I understand, but you know I would've driven you."

"Yeah, I kind of guessed so, that's kind of the reason I didn't ask you..."

"So why didn't you just ask?"

"I don't know." I said back with my hands on my hips, "But fine, I'll ask you, if you so want to drive us. Will you drive me and Taylor to get her stuff and drop us off at my house?"

"Sure, I would love to."

"What a surprise. Let me just call my mom. _Again_." I groaned and pulled out my phone, "Hey mom, change of plans. It turns out that Troy is willing to drive us around, so you won't be needing to pick us up. Is that okay with you?...Okay...Wait, what do you mean you would have been tight on time otherwise? What are you doing tonight?...Don't tell me you're staying late for work...Okay, well then if you're not staying late for work then what are you doing tonight?...What does that mean? What plans do you have?...Fine, tell me later...Bye."

"So, was it a yes?" Troy asked, leaning on a locker.

"Yeah, let me just tell Taylor." I answered already heading over to grab her.

I told her what the new plans were. "Are you sure it's okay?" Taylor asked, looking uneasily at Troy.

"It's fine, now get in, I can't be late." Troy replied shuffling us towards his truck.

"Late for what?" Taylor asked bluntly.

"Sharpay and her family are coming over for a dinner my mom made. I wouldn't mind missing it, but everybody else would be angry if I did." Troy laughed. I was silent as I was squeezed in between the two. In the middle...again.

Taylor gave directions to her house, grabbed her stuff and came back in. Troy and Taylor talked the whole time, I listened every now and then, but spent most of the time thinking.

It was only the third day of school and I already had a good friend and a ride to school. Things were looking up, and I thought to myself, yet again, that maybe this new start was just what I needed.

When we reached my house, Troy helped Taylor and I out.

"Do you want me to walk you to the door?" Troy asked politely.

"Naw, I think I can find it myself. It is my house. Uh, thanks for the ride. Um...bye." I waved him off while I walked away. Another moment missed. Was there even an ounce of romance in me? I highly doubted it.

I opened the door to find my mom putting in earrings. She was wearing a pretty black and green dress with her hair pulled into a tight bun. She had make up on, a silver necklace with green gem stones and high heeled black shoes.

"Wow, mom, you look...very fancy." I remarked.

"Do you think it looks good? Not too fancy right? Just pretty?" My mom asked as she inspected herself in the mirror.

"yeah, you look fine. What's the occasion?" I asked.

"Oh nothing, just going out with a...friend."

"So what's for dinner? We're starving." I said back, not considering for a second who this "friend" could be.

"I left some money, you guys can order out." My mom replied, jumping on the distraction of food to keep me from asking any questions. It worked.

I motioned for Taylor to drop her stuff next to the couch and we were heading to the kitchen for a snack when a car pulled up outside. My mom didn't wait for the person to ring the doorbell. She gave a quick good bye as she quickly shuffled out the door to greet the person who was just now getting out of the car.

It was a man, and for some reason that made me uneasy. A man. Mom was nervous. She looked so pretty. Too pretty for just a friend. She was fluttery. He was dressed handsomely. They obviously knew each other well. My mom was so anxious to look good. Why did this make me uneasy? Maybe it was the way she was so quick to get out to him. Maybe it was the way he looked at her expectantly and so happily, yet with something else. I was afraid she looked back at him like that.

He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. I didn't like that, at all. Why was the man kissing my mom? Why was she letting him? I was getting very nervous, I really didn't like this. Then again, it could be nothing. There was obviously a logical, and non-romantic, explanation behind it. Maybe he was just...Italian? Yes, that was it. He was just Italian, he greeted everybody like that. They were just friends, I shouldn't be paranoid. But when my mom turned to get in the car she was smiling goofily and blushing. Blushing? What did that mean? Why did she look so happy with him?

Ugh. I need to stop being so paranoid. It made me uncomfortable, though. Were they just friends?

They had to be, I mean, we've only been here for a week or two. Not much can happen. Not much did happen. Nothing happened. He was just a friend if even that. It was nothing. The car drove away. Nothing, I reassured myself.

"Uh, Gabriella? Do you want to order the pizza now, or what?" Taylor asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What? Uh, yeah. I'm starving." I replied, pulling my eyes away from the window where my mom had just gone with that man. I dialed the number and ordered, pepperoni, sausage, peppers, and olives.

"Okay, fine...no olives." I groaned to Taylor after she strongly disapproved.

We ate the pizza in the living room watching some sappy chick flick off of Netflix. Taylor added her own comments every now and then, but I was too busy thinking of my mom and that man. I didn't like her being so comfortable with him.

When it was done Taylor and I talked and messed around with videogames. Taylor finally asked the question I knew she had been wondering about the whole time, "So, what do you want to explain to me?"

'I was...I was..." I paused trying to remember. I was going to explain to her about how Troy offered me a ride. I told it to her with as little detail as I could get away with.

"So you just hopped in?" Taylor asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah, but I wasn't feeling too good that morning and I don't know, I was kind of out of it. Look, I already went through this with my mother okay! Give me break. It was stupid. It doesn't really matter anymore, whatever."

"Sorry. Wonder why he stopped for you, or even offered a ride, though. I mean, it doesn't seem like him. I can't believe he noticed you. No offense, but it doesn't make sense." Taylor remarked in her blunt manner that I liked.

"I know, welcome to my new life. Just because I don't get it, doesn't mean I shouldn't appreciate, though." I said falling back onto my bed.

"I guess. It's just so unlike him. He doesn't usually go for girls like you...or me...or anyone but the Sharpay-ish girls. Or, actually, he's never gone for any girl. He is single, agonizingly single. Trust me, I should know, considering I've been in the same school with him for quite some time. Why you? He's never been interested in any other girl, why start with you? No offense."

"What? Are you jealous." I teased, she pouted and I continued, "You know I'm just kidding. I've wondered the same things. Why me? Why is he being so nice to me?."

"It just doesn't make any logical sense. He is so popular and you're so, well, not. What made him notice you/"

I shrugged, still occupied by my mom and that man, "I don't know. It doesn't really matter, and it's not a huge deal anyways. It's just a ride to school. Nothing more. It really isn't that big of a deal."

Taylor was about to reply, but I suddenly jumped up. Everything occupying my mind earlier vanished and I pushed all other thoughts aside. The car was back, and I was racing down the stairs when a sight confirmed the doubts I had about my mom's feelings toward that man.

**Thanks for the reviews! Suggestions are always welcomed! I probably **_**should**_** know where I am going with this, but I'm not quite sure. When I started writing this, I had a clear plan, but I guess I got sidetracked a little bit. With me, it's like when the conversation gets going it chooses its own subject, like real conversations. I hope it turns out for the better! **

**please, please, please review...I need your moral support! Or not so moral support...just review, okay!**

**Tell me if it's good, or not so good! I need feedback!**


	5. Chapter 5

Taylor followed me down, maybe a little slower than me, but running just the same.

"What is it? Gabriella slow down! Where are you going?" Taylor yelled after me.

"I...need...to...see...something!" I yelled back through gasps of breath. I skidded to a stop at the window next to the front door. It gave a clear view of my mom and her "friend." Taylor stopped inches behind me, her hot breath seeping down my back. I stood motionless, watching in an almost unreal horror as my mom finally pulled away from a kiss.

It wasn't a light kiss on the cheek, though, or a peck on the hand. It was a long, passionate kiss on the lips, my mom's lips! A kiss that was reserved for my dad only. How dare she share it with that man, that stranger!

Who was he? And what did he think he was doing kissing my mom like that? Why was she enjoying it! She stood there a little while longer and looked at him in the way she used to look at my father. She was betraying him! If my mother had died instead of my father he would never have betrayed her like this!

Taylor whispered to me, puzzled, "Er, Gabriella, what is it?"

"What? Um, I don't..." I couldn't pull my eyes away from the window, I had almost forgotten Taylor was even there, "I'm not sure...it...it's nothing..."

"I'm guessing he's your moms boyfriend?" Taylor said, looking towards the man.

"Yes...I," I was still trying to register it all. My mom looked so pretty, the man, the way he looked at her. She looked at him like that too. They kissed. Oh, they kissed! Boyfriend? He was my mom's boyfriend? My mom had a boyfriend? My mom had a boyfriend! She couldn't, but it made sense. I couldn't deny it. But my dad, what about my dad? This, it was too much. How could she do this to me? To dad? To us? Taylor was looking at me so I replied, somewhat dazed, "Yes, he's her boyfriend...I guess he is."

"So, what's the matter?" Taylor asked, bored and impatient to go back to talking about Troy.

"What's the matter?" I asked myself, " Nothing's the matter." I said trying to reassure myself and Taylor.

"Well, come on, let's go to your room then."

I was about to obligingly follow when my mom walked into the house. She was smiling and her cheeks were still painted a bright pink. Right then, as I looked at the giddy look on her face and her flushed cheeks, I felt like yelling at her. I wanted to shake her. She shouldn't be so happy! She shouldn't be so proud! She shouldn't be kissing that man, and so soon after we moved here. We were just settling in! I wanted to scream at her!

I knew that I couldn't, though, not in front of Taylor. She didn't need to know about my family problems. Questions would be asked and I didn't think I could deal with it.

I did, however, debate whether I should tell her about my dad. While we were painting each others toe nails, I considered telling her about how my father was dead. Then again, I was afraid I might break down in front of her. I never talked about it with anyone. Not my mom, not anyone.

Though I held dearly to the sweet memories of him, I hated the thought of his death. I liked to think of him still being alive, it made it hurt less. I tried not to think about it that much, not to think about the fact that he was never coming back.

I tried to forget about that part, to erase it from my mind. And that was easier to do when I didn't talk about it to anyone. When I didn't say anything. So, nobody ever knew about the nightmares that I always woke up to, those horrible nightmares where I watched my father die again and again. It was always the same. There was always so much blood, so much screaming, so much crying, and so much fear and pain. Then the flashing lights would come and I would wake up, a cold sweat covering my body. I would always reassure myself that it was just a dream, that it never happened. Then, I would go back to sleep and tell no one

Just a dream, not real. I was thinking this to myself when Taylor spoke and we got on the subject of chemistry.

The next morning, I woke up groggily to the sound of my mom humming in the kitchen. I smelled something sweet, coffee. I smiled at first, but then it turned into a grimace as I remembered last night. My mom, the man, that kiss! Taylor woke up a little after and we had some cold pizza for breakfast. Shortly after, the doorbell rang and Taylor left.

"Bye.' She yawned, "See you some other time."

"Yeah," I giggled at her sleepiness, "Like possibly on Monday."

"Oh, right, yeah...school." She waved a sleepy good bye and left. I immediately went into the kitchen to face my mom.

I stood for a moment, motionless, glaring at her. Then I spoke, my voice dripping with anger, "How could you?" It wasn't a yell, it was more like a low growl. It was enough, though. Also, though not my intention, it held the slightest bit of hurt in it.

"What?" My mom turned around and tried to look confused.

"How could you do that to me? To us?"

"What are you talking about, Ella?" My mom asked again.

"Don't call me that. That was his name for me. How could you do that to him? Betray him like that?"

"Betray who? What are you talking about?"

"Why did you kiss him? How can you look at that man like that? Don't you feel any guilt, any remorse? We've hardly been here and you've already moved on!"

"Sweetie, what are you talking about?"

"Well, last time I checked, friends don't kiss when they say good bye. Not like that. How could you kiss him like that?"

"I'm sorry. I guess he is more than a friend..."

"You think! How could you do this. You betrayed dad! You hardly know the guy, why are you making out with him?"

"I wasn't making out with him! And how do you know that! Maybe I do know him!"

"How can you? We've been here for like, what, a week!" I was yelling.

"I knew him before we got here, he's the reason we came-" She stopped suddenly, I took it as my chance to yell back.

"So how long has this been going on? How long did it take you to forget dad and move on? Huh!"

"I didn't forget him, you know-"

I cut her off, "How long? Was it hard! Did you feel any pain. He was your husband, how could you let him go that easy? Don't you miss him! Don't you love him? How can you be doing that with another man! Don't you miss dad! Don't you feel any regret!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs.

My mom had become extremely pale and her lips had gone very thin. She spoke in a hiss, "I did love your dad. I miss him so much. You think I don't ever miss him? You think I don't ever wish he could be with me now? I do, you have no idea what I go through."

"Then what are you doing with him? How can you betray dad like this? He never would have done that to you!"

"I don't know! I needed somebody, he was there. I don't know if you've noticed, but your dad is gone! This is our new start, time to move on! Your dad is gone! He's not here anymore! I'm moving on! You need to too! You can't deny it forever, you can't hide from it forever! You need to move on! Your dad is gone! GONE!" She was towering over me, shouting.

I looked up at her, my eyes burning with such anger, I was seething in hate of those words, "So since he's gone you are just going to throw dad away. Throw away all those memories, throw away the man who used to hold you, who loved you. How does it feel? Is it just better for you to forget? You don't care for him anymore? So, you've moved on? You're just going to act like he never existed? Well he did. I did have a dad, you did have a husband, and hiding from it won't make it go away. Your past is a part of you. You can't run forever. Some day, some time, you will have to face it...and I won't be there to help you...your new _boyfriend_ can help you." My voice was a whisper, but each word was delivered with all my passion and anger. Behind my blank face I was screaming and kicking in anger, but outside I was extremely calm. The only sign of my real fury was my heavy breathing.

I turned and walked away, my heart pounding, my head aching, and I felt so empty yet so heavy.

Daddy, oh daddy, why did you have to go?

**Reviews, reviews, reviews! (And thank you to all who did review: ) **

**Before this ends I just want to point something out in case you didn't notice:**

**Gabriella and her mom both took Gabriella's dad's death in a different way, both went to the extreme in opposite directions. Gabriella is remembering her father and acknowledges that he existed, but she has gone too far by pretending like he still is alive. She's afraid to accept his death. Ms. Montez, though, has gone to the other extreme. She accepted her husband's death, but has gone too far in acting like he ****never ****existed.**

**Sorry for such a long author's note. I just wanted to make sure everybody understood that neither of them have it right...**

**Thanks for putting up with me! **


	6. Chapter 6

I crawled into my room, anger coursing through my veins. I felt somewhat empty, as if I had lost something during that fight with my mom. I wasn't sure what I had lost, I just knew it was gone. Deep inside I wondered if I would ever find it again. I wondered if I actually wanted it back.

I spent the rest of my Saturday curled up on my bed, staring at the wall. I finally got up and went out onto the balcony that came off my room. It was the one good aspect of moving here. I stared at the sunset and tried to recover some memories of my father. All I could get myself to remember was a picture of his face, smiling. It wasn't enough, it was never enough. A tear slid down my face and I wiped it away with my fist.

I needed somebody to talk to. Who could I talk to, though? I hardly knew anybody here. Taylor, she wouldn't understand and I wasn't about to explain anything to her. And who else was there? My mom? She didn't get it, she would never get it. I racked my brains for somebody else. Troy's name came up, but I didn't know his phone number or where he lived, and I hardly knew him, he was practically a stranger to me.

Then I remembered my best friend from back home, Ray. Would he be busy today? I hoped not. I needed to talk to him, to hear him, I needed his comfort, something!

I dialed his number and prayed he would pick up.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Ray, it's me, Gabby."

_"Hey Gabi! How's it going?"_

"I need to-to talk to you." I said trembling.

_"Okay, well talk, then. I'm listening."_

"Well, my mom and I, we-we kind of had-had a fight, and-" I struggled for words. Why was it so hard for me to talk to him? It never was before. I staggered on telling him what happened and trying to convey the feelings I was having at the moment to him. Ray interrupted more than once, and many of the times his questions had nothing to do with what I was talking about. I felt like I was talking to a wall. Things didn't seem to be getting anywhere and my feelings were sinking lower and lower.

Near the end, I was desperate, "Ray, please, just tell me what to do. I need an answer. Am I wrong for feeling so angry about my mom having a boyfriend? Say something!"

_"What? Oh, yeah. Well about your mom fight thing...um, I don't think you were wrong...that is unless you think it's wrong..."_

"That's what I'm asking you Ray!" I was on the verge of tears.

_"Uh, look Gabriella, I've got to go. Call me whenever you want, though. I'm here for you, even if I'm miles away."_

"Wait! Before you go, do you think I should talk to one of the friends I told you about. Do you think that might help? I'm worried they won't want to talk about it. Should family issues be kept just within the family, or would it be all right to talk to someone?"

There was a pause, then Ray finally answered.

_"I think you should just stick to keeping it to yourself and talking to me. I don't think anybody else would really understand it."_

"Well...okay, if you're sure..."

_"I am. Just stick with me, okay? Friends stick together, right?"_

"I guess. Er...Bye?"

_"Bye! And remember, call me. I'm here for your comfort and support. I'm here for you. Later!"_

"Yeah, bye." But he had already hung up.

I slumped back to my bed, not feeling any better. I laid there for a while, staring up at the ceiling, not really looking at anything. Suddenly, everything just seemed too much. I felt like I was being compressed, trapped. I sat upright and looked around me frantically. This room is too small. It's constricting me. I felt as if all my fears and worries were trapped in with me. Choking me off, taking all the oxygen, leaving me gasping, floundering. I bolted to the door and wrenched it open. I needed to get out. I just had to get out. I sprinted down the stairs, skipping up to three at a time. I skidded around the corner and opened the front door.

I paused when I got outside and took deep, calming breaths. I don't know what came over me. I just couldn't take the feeling of confinement any longer. And even though I knew one can't run from their fears, I wished I could. I wished I could just run farther and farther, without stopping, without looking behind me, without thinking. Just run. Just escape.

It was such a tempting idea that I almost did. But, I stopped myself before I reached the end of my yard. I couldn't just stand out side this house, though. I needed to move, to do something. And at the moment, all I wanted to do was get distance between me and the house. So I walked. I walked down the street. I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't check to see if I could find my way back. I just kept walking. For me, walking held its own sense of peacefulness in itself. I took a deep breath again. Night was falling and it was getting quite dark, but I didn't care, I just kept walking in the same direction.

As the darkness continued to envelop the world around me, I considered turning around and heading back. I didn't, though, I wasn't ready to go back and face my mother again. Who was probably waiting for me in the house. I didn't care. In fact, it almost gave me a sense of satisfaction, another reason to keep walking. Let her worry. Let her think I was kidnapped. Let her think I ran away even. That might give her a scare, one that she deserves. Then again, she might be too preoccupied with her _boyfriend_ to really care about where I am. That was probably the right answer.

At one point though, when the streetlamps and the lit houses were the only things that offered any source of light, I turned around and decided to head back to the house. As I began the walk back, my usual paranoia emerged, and I started thinking about how vulnerable I was, and how weak I probably looked. I was easy prey. But that was stupid. there are so many houses around here, with so many people, so many witnesses. I was being silly, nothing would happen.

About 20 minutes later though, I found other things to worry about. In the light I probably could have found my way home easily, but in this darkness, with only streetlamps and house to guide me, it was difficult, seemingly impossible. I tried to calm myself, tried to keep myself from going into a panic. But the longer I walked with nothing seeming familiar, the more I got nervous. I start looking around frantically, wondering if I missed a street, a house, a turn. I decided to keep walking though, It felt safer than heading down one of the narrower, dimmer streets.

I had been walking for about an hour when a bright light came up from behind me. A car! I hoped desperately that it was my mom searching for me, coming to take me home. I was tired of walking now. The sense of peace I felt was gone, all I felt was sweaty, and hot, and tired. And a little afraid too, though I would never let my mother know that.

I turned around and cover my eyes with my hand, trying to squint through the light to see if it was my mom. As it came up closer though, I realized it wasn't. The car looked somewhat familiar, but it was no one I really knew. I turned away, I didn't want to look like someone who needed help, and I didn't want to look desperate or lost. It would make me look like easy prey and that thought scared me.

So I turned and continued walking, trying to put on a confident air. As if I actually knew where I was going. The car sped up though, so that in a matter of seconds it was right beside me, then it went a little farther ahead of me and stopped. I stopped too, glued to my spot. I hoped they were parking, that it was just a coincidence that they stopped right in front of me. Then the door opened and I heard a bunch of loud, male voices.

"What are you doing?"

"Why are you making us stop?"

"Dude, what is it?"

"Come on, let's go. What the *fudge* ? Why are you making us stop?"

I still didn't move. I didn't know what to do. Should I run in the other direction, back from where I came? Should I try to walk past them quickly? Should I wait and hope they will drive away again? Should I say something? I couldn't decide, so I waited silently, praying they would just close the door and move on again.

Instead I noticed someone's leg come out of the door, then another. then the person pulled himself out completely, "Guys! just chill for a second. Gawd!" He yelled to the people in the car.

And suddenly, I realized who he was, and why they stopped. It was Troy. And for a split-second I was overjoyed to see him. I think I was just glad to see someone I knew, someone with a car and who knew their way around this town.

"Troy?" I asked.

"Hey Gabriella." Even in the dark, I saw his face light up at me, "What are you doing out here this late?'

"Taking a walk. " I responded quickly.

"Well okay then. It's kind of late for a walk isn't it?" He looked at me curiously.

"well, yeah...I mean, I'm heading home right now. I. uh, I sort of lost track of time." I tried to sound casual, as if I don't mind the fact that it's late and dark and I'm wandering around a town I've been in for only a short time at night.

Troy walked closer, "Well, then why are you walking in this direction? Isn't your house back there?" He pointed back the way I had come.

"Oh, yeah..right...well, well...I was just a little confused is all..and, um...I, uh-" I tried to come up with a good reason for me being down here, but I couldn't think of one.

Troy saw right through me, as anyone could have with a pathetic comeback like mine, "Do you want a ride? It's a pretty good distance to walk in the dark and you could fit in the car with the rest of us." He looked at me hopefully.

"Well I don't want to seem like I'm being rude or...taking advantage of you guys...or-" I looked down at my hands.

"aw, don't even think like that. I want to give you a ride. how do you think I'd feel if I just got back in the car and drove away, leaving you in the dark? I couldn't do that. I know where your house is, and it isn't too far away. I'm sure my friends would be fine with it. come on.' He looked down at me, and I couldn't possibly refuse. I had been secretly hoping that he would insist that I get a ride anyways, because I wasn't particularly looking forward to finding my house.

"Okay. Thanks, I'm sorry if I'm being rude, but, really, thanks."

Troy flashed me one of his winning smiles when I accepted. Even in the dark you couldn't mistake his pleasure. He put his arm around me as if it was the most natural thing to do and led me back to the car. I let him lead me, feeling awkward with the whole situation.

When we got back to the car I heard the loud voices quiet.

"Who's this?" One asked.

"Yeah, Troy, who is this pretty little thing and what is she doing with you?" Another added in.

"Haven't seen her before..."

"Her name's Gabriella. She's a friend. I drive her to school." Replied Troy matter-of-factly. He obviously wasn't phased by the implications they were making at our "relationship." I nodded, though I don't think anyone saw. My thoughts were too caught up on what Troy said to really care though. I was considered a friend? Did he expect me to consider him a friend as well? That seemed to be asking a lot from me, especially considering I hardly know him. Then again, I am getting into a car with him and his friends at night. I must trust him a little. But a friend seems too soon.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as the guys squished together to make room for me. All I can say about the car ride was that it was loud, crazy, and a tight squeeze. When I finally got to my house, I thanked the driver, who had an afro and was African American. He just gave me a look that I didn't think meant anything good.

Troy got out along with me, but I turned and stopped him, "I think it would be better if you just stayed in the car." I started, talking fast before he can interrupt me, "My mom will already be worried as it is, and if she sees you guys it probably won't help. Thanks for the ride though."

Troy looked as if he were about to protests, then thought better of it, "Yeah, you're probably right. And no problem, I'd be glad to give you a ride anytime."

"Yeah, well, thanks again. I hope I didn't bother you or your friends by that.."

"Naw, they don't mind. And I wouldn't care if they did. For real, though, anytime. See ya later Gabriella." He opened the door again and was climbing in.

"See ya Troy." I said back slowly and awkwardly. Then I turned and started walking to my house.

I dreaded what I would meet when I got inside. I expected my mother to be waiting there, a long scold already prepared. In reality, though, it wasn't at all what I was expecting.

**I just want to say that I am so sorry guys and if any of you are still reading this, I want to thank you for sticking with me despite the fact that I haven't posted anything in forever. I don't really have a good excuse. I just got stuck. I was rethinking my story a bit and where it was leading, so it took a while. Then I kind of forgot about. (I have a terrible memory) and then I was still stuck. This chapter is pretty short and doesn't really have a lot going on. I just needed to finally get something posted, I'm working on the next chapter. **

**So, anyway, the main point of this chapter was to introduce Ray, who will play a bigger part in this story later, and get some more interaction between Troy and Gabriella. I personally like the short meetings between the two, it gets them to know each other better without letting them know too much, and I like the idea of the relationship building kind of slowly. I know this is a long author's note, but before I end it I just want to hint at Ray. You may notice what he is doing with Gabriella, how he wants himself to be the only person that Gabriella talks about these things with, which in a way confines Gabriella even more. Just thought I would point that out since that will play in again later. Sorry about kind of ruining the foreshadowing, I just don't want it looking pointless since I don't know when I'll post my next chapter.**

**Thank you all again for reviewing and sticking with me. You guys really mean a lot.**


	7. Chapter 7

I walked in preparing for a scolding, preparing to get yelled out, glared at, shouted at, or something of the sort. At least a I'm-disappointed-in-you look. Something.

But instead, when I walked in. I got nothing. Not even worry. In fact, she wasn't even there. I looked out the window to check to make sure that she was still at the house, that she hadn't gone looking for me.

The car was there. She hadn't left. She was still at home unless she went searching for me on foot, which I highly doubted since she didn't know this town much better than myself.

I closed the door behind me slowly and took a few more steps in. Why wasn't she here? Okay, okay, I can understand that she might not be right in front of the door, but she could at least be sitting up, waiting in the living room. I walked to the kitchen. not there either. Same for the dining room.

I finally went upstairs. And that's when I found her. Her bedroom door was slightly cracked open and she was sitting on her bed on the phone. She was smiling and laughing. Not a worry on her mind. Not a clue that her daughter had just been wandering around an unfamiliar neighborhood, at night, with no flashlight, all alone, for at least three hours. Not a clue.

I looked at my room. The door was swinging on its hinges wide open. Showing obviously that I wasn't in it, that I hadn't been in it for the past three hours or more.

I walked into my room, and stared at her from inside it. She talked for a while longer until she noticed me, standing in the middle of my doorway, watching her. She blushed for a second, then shut her door. In my face. Without a word.

All of a sudden I got furious.

I hated her! I hated her new boyfriend! I hated Ray! I hated Troy! I hated all his friends and how he is too nice to me! I hated Taylor and how she doesn't understand! I hated myself for being so awkward and stupid! I just hated everything!

I hated my dad for leaving me, with this...with this woman, who didn't care about me, who didn't miss my daddy, her husband, who had already moved on, leaving me here, drowning in my own sadness, my own anger, my own hatred.

I cried again. More like sobbed. But they were silent sobs. The ones that seem to eat you from the inside out. That leave you breathless, your eyes puffy, your face pale. The ones that come with an ache that is in a place that you just can't seem to reach. That kind of sob.

When I was done I went under my covers in my bed and laid there, listening to the sounds of the night. I could hear the murmur as my mom continued talking with that man. I hated the both of them. I didn't go to sleep. I stayed awake all night, staring up at the ceiling, focusing all my attention on the little crack right above my head. I didn't think, I didn't feel, I just stared.

When the first rays of the morning light finally found me, I got up almost robotically and grabbed my phone. I knew that Ray wasn't a morning person from our many years of friendship, but I needed to talk. Now. And wasn't he the one who said that I could call him whenever I needed to talk? Sure, he probably wasn't expecting me to call back so soon, but there's no timing these things. Ray would understand. He had to.

I dialed his number.

"_What?" _A groggy voice came from the other line.

"Hey Ray, it's me, Gabby again. I need to talk." I bit my lip, ready for him to get mad at me for waking him up so early.

"_Talk? Gabby...? Ugh." _He groaned, _"What now? Why couldn't you wait a few more hours? It's like 6!" _

"I'm sorry, but you said that I could call you whenever I needed to talk, and I need to. and I'm...I'm lonely! I need you Ray! I don't know what to do..." I hated myself for it, but I had started to cry. _"Gawd! Gabby, don't cry, Gawd, no need to get so worked up. You know I'm not a morning person, so calm down. What is it?" _Ray said as soon as he heard me start to cry. He sounded agitated.

I sniffled until I could talk mostly normal again, then I apologized for crying and told him about how my mom didn't even seem a little bit worried. I didn't mention Troy or the car ride. I was afraid it might make Ray worry more over me.

At the end, Ray spoke, "_So, what's the problem here again?" _I guess he wasn't worried at all...

"Ray! I just said what the problem was!" Tears are starting to prickle my eyes again, "My mom wasn't even a little worried! She didn't say anything! At all!"

"_And why is that a problem? do you want to get yelled at?"_

"Well, no, but...but, don't you get it? Her job is to worry about me! What if something did happen to me?"

"_Well nothing did, did it. I'd be glad if I were you. You should consider yourself lucky that you got away with it."_

"But the only reason nothing happened was because somebody else found me and took me home! I could've gotten very lost! And she wouldn't even have cared!"

"_Maybe she didn't know you were gone..." _Ray sounded bored. But he couldn't be bored. I needed advice! I needed help! I needed comfort!

"She did, because my door was wide open and she could see that I wasn't there. And she must've heard the front door when I came back, and she still didn't even ask where I had been!"

"_Uh-huh." _Ray wasn't listening. I didn't know what to do. My mom wasn't doing her job, Ray wasn't listening, I felt so alone. I needed someone since my mom obviously wasn't there for me, and Ray obviously wasn't interested.

"Ray? Do you think I should talk to somebody else too?" I had been considering telling Taylor, or even Troy. One of them might be willing to listen, "Do you think I should tell Taylor or Troy?"

"_Who are they?" _Ray asked, still bored.

"Taylor is my friend from school. She's really smart and nice and she came over this weekend so I might tell her..." I paused thinking about it, "Troy is this guy who drives me to school now, he was the person who drove me home last night when I was lost..."

"_Wait what? Troy drives you to school? Who is this guy? Are you guys going out or something_?" Ray suddenly seemed much more attentive.

"What? No, he's just a friend, or not even that really. All he does is drive me to and from school. So do you think I should tell him?"

"_No. You shouldn't. That's a really bad idea."_

"Why? Why shouldn't I? I need someone." I said, getting worked up again.

"_Because you have me. You don't need him or anybody but me."_

"I know, I know...But you're so far away Ray. I thought it might be good to have someone to talk to here." I looked down at my cold, bare feet.

"_Well you don't need someone because you have me okay."_

"It's just one other person. I need someone to talk to when you're not available. Do you really think it's a bad idea? Do you think that it really will make them not want to be my friends anymore?' I asked almost desperately.

"_Well-"_

"I mean, if they're really my friends, they wouldn't leave me just because of that, would they?" I interrupted him.

"_It's not just that. If you told Troy, he might use it against you maybe." _Ray said casually.

"What do you mean? how could he do that.?" I'm tired of excuses.

"_He could almost use it as a power thing is what I'm trying to say. The more he knows about you, the more he can use against you. The more power he has over you, because you are spilling out your feelings to him, and every time you confide in him you are giving him more power over you."_

"That's a harsh way to look at things. You don't think he would do that, do you? i mean, he is being abnormally nice to me, but he wouldn't do that just to have power over me, would he?"

"_You tell me. He might. Are there any other reasons you can come up with to explain why he's being so nice to you?" _Replied Ray coolly.

"I guess not...I just don't know...I don't really know why he's being so nice to me, but I don't want to think that he would...that he would do that..."I stuttered, shocked by Ray's explanation. Not because it seems so vicious, but because it really does explain a lot. Except why Troy would want power over me in the first place.

"Why would he want power over me in the first place?" I asked Ray.

"_I don't know. I don't know how those kind of people think or the reasons behind what they do."_

"Okay then...I guess I won't tell him about this then..."

"_Good. I just don't want you getting hurt Gabby. Just stick with me, okay_?" Ray said a little softer.

"Okay, I will. Bye."

"_Bye" _

Ray hung up.

I sighed. I really didn't feel any better. The thought that that was the reason Troy was being nice to me, to gain power over me, didn't make me feel good. I kind of had always hoped that maybe there was another reason behind it. A good reason that I just hadn't discovered yet. It sickened me to believe that that was the only reason, that somebody would do that to me, take advantage over my pain. I wanted to say no, that Ray didn't know what he was talking about, but I had no other explanation for Troy's kindness and I trusted my best friend over someone who was still a relative stranger to me.

Still, I hoped that maybe there was another reason behind his kindness and I would learn of it soon.

Great. Now, not only was I still upset about my mom, I was confused and upset about Troy too. The talks with Ray didn't seem to be helping, but then again, he was the only one I had.

**Okay guys, thanks again! I hope you enjoyed it. How do you guys feel about Ray now? Sorry it took a while. **

**A special thanks to **hopelessromanticgurl and yogaluva for sticking with me. You guys really mean a lot, and I really appreciate your reviews and support! Keep reading.


	8. Chapter 8

I stretched and got up. I took a shower and dressed. I had dark, heavy bags underneath my eyes, but I didn't care. I pulled my tangled hair back into a messy ponytail without bothering to brush it. I grabbed my favorite sweater. It still had the faint smell of home, my old, real home, because I hadn't washed it yet, I didn't want to lose what little of my old home, my old life, that I had left.

I went downstairs, watching each step I took, counting the stairs as I went down. I traced my finger against the wall as I walked. Today was not a good day. This weekend was not a good weekend.

My mom was in the kitchen. I could hear her humming a faint tune. Oblivious to the fact that she just ruined her daughter's life, that she just made another enemy.

I wanted to cry again, but I wouldn't give her that satisfaction, I wouldn't give anyone that satisfaction. Instead I'll just become completely emotionless,. I won't be happy or sad, I'll just be, and my mom can figure out what do about that. That is, if she actually remembers me.

I avoided the kitchen and walked straight to the living room, towards the front door. I needed a day alone, a day for myself. Obviously, talking to Ray didn't help, he just made me more confused, added another burden. Staying in this house wasn't helping either. I was just getting angrier. I needed just some time and space to think.

"I'm going to the park." I called behind me as I opened the door, though my mom probably didn't hear. I didn't get a response, I didn't want one either.

I walked outside into the warm sunlight, and with the gentle breeze playing with my hair, and the warm glow of the sun on my face, I almost smiled.

I turned and headed towards the general direction of the park. I found it easily enough. It was kind of hard to miss because it had a small lake in the center of it.

I walked to a bench looking out into the water, then collapsed in it.

Now that I was here, I didn't want to think. I just wanted to give up. I pulled my knees up against my chest and covered my face in them and just sat there silently, not sure what to think, who to turn to, what to do. I didn't exactly cry, I just let the pain wash over me, again and again and again.

I missed my daddy. A lot, and I wanted him here with me now. If he was here he would've told me the bright side of all this, or at least found a way to distract me. He would've taken my hand and led me to the water, and maybe he would show me the different birds or teach me to fish. And when I would get bored of fishing, as he would know I would, he might start a grill and have a picnic. And then we would get into one of our long, deep conversations, that ended with us both laughing over something stupid. Then he would pick me up and carry me to the car, where I would pretend to fall asleep so that he would carry me to bed as well. Then I would wake up once he put me in bed just in time for a good night kiss and story. Then he would tuck me in and I would have sweet dreams instead of the nightmares I have now.

That is, if he was still here. And he isn't, but maybe he might come back one day. I keep hoping that there was some mistake and he'll come back one night to carry me home and kiss me goodnight. I just want one more kiss goodnight. Just one more.

I felt cold, salty tears run down my face yet again. I'm surprised I have any more tears, I've cried so much this past week. I ignored them and just continued to sit on the bench in my own sorry little world.

At one point, I didn't know how long I had been there, I heard a slight creak from the bench and felt someone else's presence near me. I then realized that I wasn't actually alone, that there were other people here. I considered looking up, but decided that I didn't really care anyways. Whoever it was, he or she would leave at some point after realizing that I wasn't in the mood for socializing.

A few minutes later though, the person cleared his throat, or I thought it was he by the sound. Then the person put his hand on my shoulder. I instinctively stiffened my arm defensively.

"Hey Gabriella. I'm just seeing you everywhere aren't I?" Said a familiar voice to my left.

"Troy?" My voice was muffled but I knew he heard me anyways.

"Yep, that's me. Is something wrong? I hope you didn't get in too much trouble last night..." Troy began.

"What?" I was too lost in my thoughts to remember what he was talking about, then I remembered, "Oh that. No. I didn't." I still wouldn't lift my head, I felt more secure hiding in my arms.

"Okay, good. Then what's wrong?" Troy gently urged me.

I remembered what Ray said about Troy being so nice as a power move, "Nothing. Nothing is wrong." I added after a few seconds of silence, "You can go away."

"Is that what you want me to do? I will leave right now if you want me to go. Just tell me."

Honestly, I wanted him to stay right where he was, because I didn't want to be alone again, and just him being there made me feel a little better. But what if it was just another trick like Ray said? I didn't know what I wanted so I didn't say anything. I secretly hoped he would take my silence as "you-can-stay".

He did. He continued sitting next to me. He didn't say anything, but, then again, he didn't really have to. It was good enough him just being there. At one point he scooted closer and started to stroke my hair gently. I didn't move. I didn't resist. Then he moved his other arm so that it was around me, so that I was curled up into his side. He smelled like cinnamon for some reason. I liked it.

A while later, when Troy shifted his position (I never once considered his comfort) I lifted my head. Troy was looking out at the lake. He noticed me looking at him and smiled at me, then he turned and pointed.

"See that? All the way across the lake? There's a deer. Pretty cool, isn't it?" He spoke softly, as if I was the deer, ready to flee at the slightest movement, at the first sign of a harsh word. At the moment, I probably would have.

I was about to say something to Troy, ask him why he was so nice to me, when someone called his name. Another very familiar voice.

"Oooh TrooOOOooy!" Came a shrill, annoying, extremely feminine voice. A voice that one would picture with pink to be even more exact. "Troy! It's time for lunch! Come on, I have a seat saved especially for you!"

Just as the deer across the lake darted back into the bushes at the sound of Sharpay's loud voice, I went back under my arms.

"I've got to go. Sorry. I promise I'll be back though. Do you want to come with me and get some food? I bet you're hungry."

"No, I'm not. Are you guys having a cook out? Is that why you are here?" I asked still under my arms.

"Yeah, the Bolton's and Evan's family cook-out. We do this a lot. Good for family ties. So do you want to join us?" Asked Troy hopefully.

"Not really. I don't want to be around a lot of people right now. You shouldn't come back. You should probably be at your own cookout." I said from under my arms.

"Naw, we have them all the time, they won't miss me too much just from one of them. How about this, you don't need to come with me, but how about I bring you back some food?"

I didn't reply. Troy left, but came back about thirty minutes later. I smelled a hamburger. My stomach gnawed at my insides but I didn't lift my head.

"Here," I heard Troy's voice again, "I got you a hamburger. I don't know what you like so I just put some cheese, and mustard and ketchup on it. I'm guessing you are hungry."

I ignored him.

I heard Troy sigh then he spoke again, "I'm going to get a napkin and something for you to drink, okay. I'll be back soon."

Once he left, I lifted my head and looked at the hamburger. It was a big burger and it smelled really good. Troy did bring it for me...I took the plate and grabbed the thick burger and took a bite. It was warm, and tasty and juicy. I didn't realize how hungry I was until then. It would make sense that I was hungry, though, considering I hadn't eaten anything all day.

I was only on my third bite when Troy came back with some napkins and a water bottle. He smiled, "Good, you're eating. I was gonna make you eat if you hadn't by the time I got back."

I only looked at him, then I put the burger down and turned away.

"Whoa, what are you doing? Keep eating, I know you're hungry." He said as soon as I put it down. Then he said a little more softly, "You know, it's okay to be hungry, everybody gets hungry at some point. That doesn't exclude you."

I looked at him, "Well, I just didn't want to seem...needy."

He laughed, "You don't. In fact, you don't seem to need enough. I wish you did. It makes it hard for the rest of us to help you or even make you happy. I just don't know what to do with you..." There was a note of bitterness at the end.

"Then don't do anything with me at all. Maybe I don't want help." I said, contradicting myself as I said it for my mouth was stuffed with the food he brought me.

"Yeah, I don't know." He rubbed the back of his neck then let his arm rest behind me on the bench, "Do you want me to get you anymore food? Because I can."

"No, I think this will be good." Then I added quietly, "Thanks."

"No problem. Hey, when you're finished eating do you want to go down to the water?"

"Sure, I guess."

When I finished eating, Troy took my hand and helped me up. It's amazing how cramped one can get when they've been curled up on a bench for most of the morning. He led me down to the water, helping me where it got steep. When we got down he pointed out some ducks and gave me some bread he had taken from the picnic. I tossed some to the ducks and they swam closer. Troy leaned against a tree nearby and watched me until all the bread was gone.

I looked up at him and then murmured, "Thanks." again.

Troy seemed to have been snapped out of some deep thoughts, "What? Oh, it's nothing really. Just some bread. Do you want to take a little walk now? I know this neat path that will take us to the other side of the lake. We might meet the deer." He smiled.

"Okay then." I said. He took my hand again and led me back to the bench, then past it and onto a little path that would be easily missed unless you knew where it was. He didn't let go of my hand despite my hints for him to let go.

We walked all the way around the lake and came off the path and looked back at the Bolton/Evan picnic from the same exact spot that the deer was at. Then we walked back. We didn't talk at all, we just walked. The whole time Troy held my hand. I didn't want to admit it, but I was glad he did. His hand felt strong and comforting next to my weak, trembling hand. By the time we got back it was dusk.

I let go of Troy's hand and turned to him, "I should go home now." I said.

"Okay, well let's head to my car and I'll drive you..."

"No, it's fine, I can just walk home." I said quickly.

"Are you kidding? And let you get lost again? Let me just drive you home."

"But you're going to miss you're picnic, it looks like they're doing marshmallows now."

"It won't take long at all. Or you can stay for s'mores." Troy said helpfully.

"No, I'll just go home."

"And I'll just drive you." Troy said stubbornly.

"Fine then, drive me!" I was too tired to argue too much.

"Good. Well come on!" And before I had a chance to protest he put one of his arms behind my knees and the other supporting my back and lifted me up and carried me all the way to his car. When we got to his car, he set me down, opened the door and helped me in.

"You know I can walk." I said reproachfully.

"Yeah, well, this way just seemed more fun." He responded light-heartedly as he swung himself into the driver's seat.

"Not really." I muttered.

He looked over at me as he started the car, "Okay, okay, it won't happen again. I'm sorry. I just got carried away. Forgive me?"

I didn't say anything for a moment, then, "You were the one who got carried away? Are you sure? Because I'm almost positive that I was the one who got carried away..."

He seemed surprised at first then he laughed, "My bad."

The rest of the car ride was in silence. A good silence, though. The kind that could last forever without ever getting annoying or awkward. Too soon, the silence ended when Troy pulled up in front of my house. He was right, it was a quick ride.

"Here you are." He said, then he looked at me and got serious as I un-buckled, "Gabriella, be honest with me, what's up? You can tell me, you know that, right?"

I wanted to tell him, to tell him everything, and let him help me carry the burden, let him ease the pain, but Ray's words kept popping up and I was afraid, "Nothing. Like I said earlier. Nothing is wrong okay."

"Okay then. Well, do you want me to walk you to the door?"

"No, I can walk there myself. Thanks for the ride." I said a little too coolly.

Troy seemed taken back but he recovered quickly, "No problem. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm still driving you, right?" He said a little stiffly but still politely.

"Yep." I got out and walked towards my front door. Troy drove away. As soon as he was gone, I wished that he had stayed. When I was with him, things seemed a little more bearable, life a little brighter. And now he was gone, and I felt alone again, sad again, lost again. I wish his hand was still on mine, it felt cold now.

Ugh! Ray was right. I haven't even told Troy anything yet and he already had so much power over me. Look at me! One day with him and we hardly said anything, and he's already made me more of a mess!

**Okay, well I hoped you liked it! A lot of Troy and Gabriella time. I kind of feel bad about the end, because it even upsets me a little bit that Gabriella is making herself believe that Troy is still out to get her and still believes that Troy is the one who made her a mess! UUUUGGGHHHH! I'm sorry, but it was kind of necessary for the story. It adds drama, more obstacles, makes it more interesting (In my opinion). Thanks for reading and reviewing, I hope you all like the story so far, I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going with this, but I might end up changing my mind later :P**

**Thanks especially to: **Godschildtweety hopelessromanticgurl Emo Goth Chick

yogaluva **and **pumpkinking5

**And thank you to all the favorites and story alerts, all you people are the reason that I keep writing.**


	9. Chapter 9

I walked in the front door and closed it quietly behind me. I went upstairs, ignoring the gnawing hunger at my stomach. I was tired. Very tired. Funny, I had hardly done anything yet I was exhausted. I stumbled up the stairs to my room. In the upstairs hallway I could hear my mother laughing and talking, no doubt to her boyfriend again. I didn't say anything but went straight inside my room and closed that door silently behind me too. I shrugged off my clothes, took a warm shower, and put on some fuzzy pajamas. Then I crawled under the covers of my bed. I laid there for a while, not really thinking about anything in particular, not really trying to fall asleep.

Honestly, I didn't want to go to sleep. Sure, the prospect of escaping from my life for a few hours seemed nice, but I was afraid. I was afraid that as soon as I closed my eyes that nightmare would be waiting. Lately, it had been getting a lot worse. Instead of me having the nightmare maybe once every month or so, I had it almost every night and it just got worse and worse each night. Everything was much more vivid, and I woke up more and more often either thrashing around in my bed or turning over and over with silent screams until I woke up, terrified and covered in a cold sweat. I've considered that I might have some illness, that I have some mental problem, but what can I do about it? Who could I possibly tell? Who would ever listen?

I didn't want anyone else to know about it anyways. I already thought myself partially crazy, but this nightmare thing, it wasn't helping, maybe other people would think me crazy as well. I don't know why, but for some reason I really didn't want other people thinking me crazy. I didn't usually care about people's opinions of me, but being considered crazy or having a mental problem, yes, that, that I could not stand. Who would want to hear anyways? Who would feel like listening? Who would feel like comforting? It was just a nightmare, nobody could possibly want a 15 year old to come crying to them about it?

And with this look on things, despite the fact it was making me ill with lack of rest, despite the fact that I was having severe sleeping problems that could only get worse, despite the fact that I really wanted to tell someone who could help me, I decided against telling anyone else. I would keep it to myself like always. Maybe I would tell Ray, but other than that, no one, because maybe Ray was right, it would only give other people power over me to tell others about this. Almost like revealing my weaknesses to them., and I didn't need that.

I eventually drifted into sleep, and, as expected, I soon woke up tangled in my covers and covered in sweat. I gasped for breath and tried to calm myself down but I couldn't stop my trembling. I got out of the covers and walked to my bathroom where I splashed some cold water onto my face. I forced myself to take some sips of water too, then crawled back in bed.

2 more times this happened, 2 more times I saw the nightmare play over in my head, 2 more times I woke up horrified. So, as can only be expected, when morning came, I didn't wake up until 15 minutes before I had to leave. I didn't really care, I could be late to school. Maybe I would just miss school altogether and go down to the lake again. That place gave me a sense of peace, and I felt like just being there would help. It could be like my haven, a place to go when there's nowhere else to go. That sounded nice. A day at the lake again. I slowly got up and pulled on some comfy clothes. I brushed my hair quickly and pulled it into another ponytail. I pulled on some shoes and went downstairs. The kitchen was empty and the house was quiet, my mom must've gone to work early, or she was sleeping in bed taking a day off. The former seemed more likely. She wouldn't want to miss a chance of seeing her boyfriend now would she?

I searched through the kitchen and grabbed a poptart and a glass of milk and started eating.. I ate slowly. There was no rush, I had made up my mind that I would not be going to school today and would instead be spending it at the lake, and it's not like I could be late for that.

Thus, I was happily munching away when the doorbell startled me. I got up and went to the door, and then cautiously moved the curtains aside to see who it was. Troy! Oh, crap! how could I forget about Troy! I knew he was coming to pick me up, I hadn't even considered him at all this morning. I opened the door.

Troy looked me over before saying a word. What a mess I must've looked! My mouth was full, I had a milk mustache, and a half eaten poptart in my hand with a glass of milk in my other hand. My books were strewn across the living room and all I could do was look at him for I hadn't swallowed my mouthful of poptart yet.

"You did remember I was coming to pick you up, right?" He asked, though it was obvious what the answer was.

I swallowed hard and said back, "No. I forgot."

"Well, then I guess we better be quick then." He said brightly.

"What do you mean?" I assumed that he would either be angry or leave. Why was he going to go through the trouble of helping me get ready for school? He already did too much it seemed by driving me there and back everyday.

"I mean, you finish that, I'll get all your books in your book bag and then we can leave and might not be late for school and if we are, not too late at least." He said, already grabbing all my books, folders, notebooks, and papers and placing them neatly, but quickly into my book bag.

I just watched him. Was he really going through all this trouble just to get me to school.

"Okay, all ready. Let's head out!" Troy said, slinging my book bag over his shoulder and heading out the door.

I stood and watched him for a second more, my poptart still in my hand.

"Unless you don't want to go to school...Are you sick, am I just bothering you?" Troy suddenly seemed worried and came back, looking at me with concern. "If you're sick Gabriella, just tell me, okay? You aren't looking too well anyways. I guess that's why you weren't ready. Well, now I feel stupid, but neve-"

"No, no. I'm not sick, I just forgot. I should go to school, I...I will go to school. I'm sorry, I was just surprised." I said walking after him.

Troy wasn't satisfied, but he kept walking anyways and helped me into his truck after tossing my book bag in. He started the engine and began driving. He didn't talk for most of the ride which was a pleasant surprise for me. We were almost to the student parking lot, though, when he finally spoke. His voice was careful and he seemed to be thinking hard when he said, "Gabriella, is something wrong? No never mind, I know that something is wrong. What I really want to know is what's wrong." He stared intently at me and I turned away.

"Nothing is wrong." I whispered.

"I know that's a lie, now tell me what's wrong, I don't like seeing you like this."

"Nothing is wrong." I said louder.

"Gabriella, please..."

"Nothing is wrong!" I yelled, "Nothing! Nothing at all! Nothing is wrong! Stop asking! Why do you care! Nothing is wrong!"

"I'm sorry. You're right, I don't have any right to be prying in your life. I'm sorry. I was just worried about you. I won't bother you anymore." Said Troy quickly after my mad outburst, still looking at me with that worried face of his. It was beginning to get on my nerves.

"It's fine...let's...let's just go now. I...I don't want to be late for school. " I replied, recovering myself as much as I could.

I practically jumped out of his car and ran to my locker, not thanking Troy or looking back when he parked. When I got to my locker I leaned against it and just closed my eyes for a second. That was close. Too close. I almost told Troy everything. I was on the brink of spilling. I couldn't though! Ray had to be right, Troy was only doing this for power! How could Ray, my bet friend, be wrong about this? I just needed to avoid Troy, because I was sure that if I spent too much time with him it was only likely that I would end up telling him everything, and I just couldn't have that.

Taylor came up behind me and spoke in my ear, "Boo!"

I turned around unsurprised and tried to say hi to her in a cheery voice.

"Heyyyy!" She said cheerfully back, then after getting a better look at me asked softly, "Gabi, is something wrong? You don't look to good."

I turned away from her and opened my locker, mumbling in reply a quick, "I'm fine, nothing's wrong."

"Well, okay then, if you're sure. If you ever need to talk though, you know you can talk to me, okay?"

I nodded., though honestly ignoring her invitation for me to tell her about what's wrong. Whose to say that she isn't plotting to use all this information against me too? I hardly knew her, so why was she being so nice to me? Nothing made sense. Again, I had to acknowledge that Ray must be right, that he really was the only one I could trust.

I went though my classes, hardly talking to anyone, hardly looking up from my books. I squeezed my way through the hallways unnoticed and at lunch, I sat alone. Taylor and her friends came over to sit with me shortly and some other people asked me what was wrong. I didn't answer. I just ate silently. By the end of the day I was feeling no better than when the day started.

I wasted no time getting to my classes so when I got to homeroom I was one of the first few there. I sat down and started doodling on my hand. Soon everyone else filed in until the class was full. I didn't look up from my doodling.

"Hey, ya still doing okay?" A voice to my right said through the noise.

I looked up and saw Troy, looking over at me, his blue eyes full of what appeared to be concern. I nodded, but didn't make eye contact. He didn't speak to me the rest of the class, and when the bell finally rang, didn't walk me to my locker like he usually did. I was grateful that he wasn't trying to make me talk. I was so grateful that he wasn't pushing the subject and felt myself lucky that he didn't.

Taylor on the other hand, gave me no such luck. As soon as the bell rang she followed me to my locker chatting idly away at some topic neither of us cared for. She then tried to make subtle hints as to why I was acting so weird today. I ignored her hints and unasked, yet still asked, questions. She gave up the subtle approach then and asked me directly, "Gabi, what is wrong?"

"Nothing." I said, acting puzzled at her question.

"Mmm-hmm. Suuuuure...Tell me what's up." She looked at me, demanding a direct answer.

I looked back at her defiantly, "Nothing. Is. Wrong." I repeated.

"Thing is, I don't believe you. What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" I said shoving some books into my book bag.

"Just tell me Gabi! I'm worried about you!" She almost pleaded.

"Well don't then! Cuz there is nothing to worry about!" I started walking away but Taylor followed.

"I think there is, and you won't tell me. Gabi, I'm your friend, I'm here for you!"

"Well, I don't need you here for me!"

"I think you do." She said a little quieter.

I looked back, fighting with myself over what to do, "I...er..." I bit my lip. Should I tell Taylor, and take the chance that she might not really be my friend or keep it to myself, risk free. I wanted to tell her. Taylor would help me, I know. She had a shameless way of telling one what she thinks and never hid her opinion, and that's what I needed. Someone to tell me what to think, to look at the situation and tell me what my choices were, someone to help. But on the other hand, I just couldn't get Ray's words out of my head. What've this was some power move just like Troy. I mean, how could I really consider her my friend? We had known each other for so little a time, and why would she want to be friends with me? She had friends, was cool and smart and pretty so how could she really, actually, honestly be friends with me? So Ray must be right. Right? Ray must be telling the truth. It's some power move because she couldn't actually be friends with me, just me. "I don't." I finally replied.

"Gabi, please, I'll help you if I can. I'm here for you! Talk to me!'

"There's nothing to talk about! Okay? I've gotta go now. Bye." And I hurried off before she could make any objections. I walked to Troy's truck with my head down and didn't speak to anyone else. Troy was already there, waiting for me. He helped me in without saying a word and the drive was in silence. When we got to my house, still not saying a word, Troy got out, walked around the truck and helped me out. Then he grabbed my book bag and walked me to the door.

When we got to the front door he waited for a few moments then said, "So you're sure you don't want to talk?"

"Yes. I'm sure." I said back, already opening the door.

"Well, I...I guess you are then." And Troy walked in, dropped my book bag gently on the couch and walked out, "I'm still driving you tomorrow, right?" He asked.

"Um..." I didn't know what to say. He was obviously expecting me to say yes, but I had decided that the less time I spent with Troy the better. Then again, I didn't really like walking and getting driven by my mom was out of the question. Troy really hadn't asked me about it too much, and it sounded as if he had given up asking...maybe he wouldn't ask or say anything...? There was always the chance that he would ask me and the question of whether I would be able to hold my tongue.

I looked at him and replied, "I...yes. Yes you are driving me tomorrow."

There, I had taken the chance. Now I needed to call Ray. What would he say to me for continuing to ride with Troy? I could only imagine...

**So thanks for reading so much and thanks for REVIEWING! **

**Okay, okay, so this chapter isn't my best, not a lot of dialogue, action, or really anything. SORRY! I didn't want to keep you guys waiting too long (although you guys have proved your patience with me, thanks) and I needed a chapter to show that Gabriella is not talking to Taylor either and the state of mind she is in right now. I also want you to notice that the real problem about Gabriella's trust issues, is her self-esteem; she doesn't think she's that great so she believes that there is no logical reason why anyone would want to actually be friends with her or how anyone could actually like her. (I'm thinking up a reason for why she's thinking like this at this very moment, and if you have any suggestions for an explanation for why her self-esteem is so low, preferably having something to do with her father's death, please feel free to tell me!) Ray knows this and that's how he is able to use this against her. **

**One more thing, and I know this is an extremely long author's note, I need a sweet nickname that Troy could use for Gabriella, or a nickname that Gabriella's father could have used to use. Something sweet! Any suggestions?**

**Thanks, and thanks especially to: **pumpkinking5**, **yogaluva**, **Bluebell140**, **Godschildtweety**, and **hopelessromanticgurl** for reviewing and to all the favorites and story alerts! **


	10. Chapter 10

I went straight upstairs to my bedroom, where I slammed the door behind me. I immediately pulled out my phone and dialed Ray's number.

_"Hullo?" _

"Hi again, Ray. It's..uh...Gabriella again..." I said softly, nervous all of the sudden for some reason.

_"Hi...? Wow, you call a lot."_

"Well you said I should call you whenever I need to talk!"

_"Yeah, yeah...I know, but I just wasn't expecting you to call so much. Well make it fast. I have homework and I'm going out with some friends sooo..." _Ray said impatiently.

"Well I...I..." I paused. I can't find anything to say. I called Ray to get comfort, just to talk, you know? I didn't have anything planned out, I hadn't decided what I was going to say. Now here was Ray demanding me to tell him and make it quick. But I didn't know what to say. For some reason, the words that were always so quick to pop into my head otherwise, wouldn't come. I didn't know what to say to Ray. I didn't think I would have to say much at all. I called just to have Ray be there.

"I...I just wanted you to know that I'm...I'm still getting driven to school by Troy." I said. It was the first thing that popped into my head.

_"Really?" _Now Ray was interested, _"After all I told you, even though you know he's only playing the friend to get power over you, after all that, you're still riding to school with him? You're being serious?"_

"Yes." I said hesitantly. Why did I tell him this? What was I thinking?

_"Well, why?"_

"I don't know, I need a ride to school and he keeps offering. I'm going to keep accepting." I said a little more firmly.

There was a pause, then Ray said, _"So that's it? You called to tell me this?"_

"Yes and no."

"_Well, if there's more let's hear it, cuz I have places to be you know."_

"Well, he keeps asking me what's wrong because I've been doing pretty bad since my mom and the boyfriend thing and he _seems_ like he's really worried about me, and I want to tell him and I want to tell Taylor too, but you said it's just a power thing or whatever and I don't know what to do! You're like my only friend but you're so far away! And I don't know what to do!" I stopped to catch my breath.

"_Continue.." _Was all Ray said.

"It's just, I've been so close to telling him a few times and it's really hard not to tell him. Everything. And I know what you said is probably true, but I want to tell him so bad and just look at me! I've hardly told him anything and he's made me such a mess and I don't know what to do! I want to tell Troy, to have him tell me what to do, or to tell Taylor, but...but..."

_"But you know that that would be stupid since you know and I know that they aren't really your friends." _Finished Ray for me_, "Just don't tell them. It's as simple as that. You only need to talk to me, you don't need them. How many times do I have to tell you this! Stick with me. And especially stay away from Troy, okay?"_

"Okay...but you're sure that he really is only pretending to be my friend? Is there really no chance that he really is my friend?"

_"Trust me, Troy can't possibly really be your friend. We both know it doesn't make any logical sense. What's so great about you that he would just want to be friends with you so soon? You're not _that _special, you're hardly special at all. There really isn't any other reason why he is being so nice to you, now is there?"_

"Nooo, I guess not-"

"_Good. Stick with me. Stay away from Troy and Tyler-"_

"Taylor."

_"Whatever. And don't tell anyone but me, cuz you know that _I've_ got your back. I gotta go now. Later." _And Ray hung up without any further ado.

And I decided to listen to Ray's advice without any further ado as well. Everyday was the same as the last after my talk with Ray. Get up. Get dressed. Eat. Troy comes. Don't talk. Go to school. Locker. Taylor. Don't talk. Go to class. Do work. Don't talk. Lunch. Sit alone. Don't talk. Homeroom. Ignore Troy next to me. Don't talk. Drive home. Don't talk. Go home. Do homework. Eat dinner. Don't talk.

I didn't want to talk for fear that I might let something slip, that if I mentioned one thing, everything else would come along with it. It was hard not to say anything. Sometimes I called Ray, but we usually didn't speak long, and we hardly ever had anything to say, and I never got any comfort from it. Our conversations mostly consisted of Ray telling me not to talk to Troy and Taylor and me agreeing not to.

Every now and then I almost hoped that Troy or Taylor or _someone _would ask me what's wrong. I never knew whether to sigh in relief or cry in desperate disappointment when neither of them spoke of it again. Part of me really didn't want to believe that they really weren't my friends. Part of me wanted to believe they actually did care for me. But the other part of me knew that they didn't, that they couldn't really be my friend.

For a month this went on. A whole month of silent desperation. My mom didn't really notice, and if she had she probably wouldn't have cared. I think she had given up on me, on fixing me. I couldn't exactly say I was surprised my mom had given up on me, or that I was completely upset by the fact...but just the feeling that nobody believed in you hurt, just the feeling that your own mom gave up on you, it...it wasn't a great feeling.

My dad never would've given up on me. He would've helped me through this, he would've hurt with me and healed with me. He would've been there, even when things with me would seem hopeless, I knew my dad would've been there. Because my dad loved me, no matter what. But my dad wasn't here, I had to keep reminding myself, and my mom _had _given up on me. She had tried to help me heal, she had failed, so she had given up and moved on with her own life. It was like a train had left and my mom was on it, but I wasn't. I was still standing at the train station, watching her go, not able to stop her or catch up.

****

I woke up and looked at my calendar. I crossed off the day and stared at it for a few minutes.

"And so begins the 5th week of silence..." I narrated bitterly. I had called Ray yet again last night and my spirits had only sunk more. I had cried myself to sleep last night...yet again too. I hadn't slept well at all, I hadn't been sleeping well for the past months, but last night was particularly bad. The nightmare came again and I had woken terrified 3 times successively. My heart still felt as if it was still pounding from last nightmare.

I got up and stretched and dressed. Then I came downstairs and ate. I sat on my couch staring at the blank television screen until there was a knock on the door.

My mom's head poked out from around the corner at the sound of the knock, "Who is-?"

"It's Troy. Not _him._" I told her without even looking at her as I swung my backpack over my shoulder and headed to the door.

I opened it and there was Troy as predicted, waiting for me patiently. He looked concerned, as usual, as he looked me over. He grabbed my backpack from me and swung it over his own shoulder. As we walked to his truck I noticed that there was something else reflected on his face too, along with the concern. In the truck I looked him over more closely.

Determination. It was a grim determination that I saw mixed with the concern. I wanted to get out of the truck, but it had already begun driving to school. I knew what Troy was going to do today, and I wasn't ready. I had given up on the idea that he would ever ask me, I didn't know if I would be able to keep my mouth shut today. He hadn't asked for the past month, and today. He chose the time when I was at my weakest, at my most vulnerable to ask me and I didn't know what to do. My resistance was crumbling before he even had begun to ask me.

10 minutes later, though, when he had not spoken at all, I allowed myself to feel some relief. We were maybe 5 or 10 minutes away from the high school and once we got there I was safe. If he hadn't spoken yet, maybe he won't ask at all. I leaned back in my seat and sighed inaudibly.

And then suddenly the truck turned onto the side of the road and slowed to an abrupt stop.

Troy turned to me and demanded rather than asked, "Talk to me."

"N-n-no...I-I...I don't know what you're talking a-about." I turned away and looked out the window.

"I am talking about how you won't talk to anyone. How you always have tear stains down your face when I pick you up .How you aren't eating. How you aren't doing anything! How you aren't living! How you won't let anyone help! That's what I am talking about!" Troy almost seemed angry.

"There-there...there isn't anything to talk about!" I started, though the tears that began trickling down my face begged to differ.

"Just tell me! Gawd! I can't stand to see you like this! I haven't said anything all this time because I thought if I just let you be you would get better. But not any more!" He cupped my face in his hands and forced me to look at him.

I shoved his hands off trembling and looked away again, "Nothing-nothing is wrong." I hastily tried to wipe the tears off my face, but they kept coming.

"I'm worried about you." He said softer, cupping my face in his hands once again, tenderly looking down at me with eyes so full of concern it almost made me mad at myself for making Troy worry so much. I looked down but I didn't have the strength to push his hands away. The tears kept coming, but I didn't wipe them away. I couldn't stop trembling.

"Just tell me Ella." He whispered. I suddenly looked up at him.

Ella. Ella. How long had it been since I was called that? Ella. Five years. It had been five years. Ever since my dad had...had...

And suddenly I found myself talking. I found myself telling Troy about my mom and her boyfriend and Ray and how he couldn't really be my friend. I found myself telling him everything as one subject led to another. And then I reached my dad. Before then, I knew that I could've stopped, I could've shut my mouth and not told Troy anything more, but when I reached my dad, I knew there was no going back. I started from the beginning. I told Troy everything about my dad, from his favorite color to the time he taught me to ride a bike. I eagerly relived the memories to Troy, and the whole time Troy just listened intently.

And then I finally reached my dad's...my dad's death, and that's when I found that I had had tears streaming down my face the whole time I was telling Troy about it. And suddenly I was sobbing. I was hysterical. I clutched at Troy's shirt and hid my face in his chest as I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

"Daaaadddyyyy! Oh Daddy! Why did you leave me Daddy! Nobody wants me, nobody wants me! Daddy, why?" I sobbed harder.

Troy rubbed my back and pulled me closer while I cried and murmured words of comfort to me until the racking sobs had mostly subsided, leaving me gasping for breaths with little hiccups. He gave me a towel from the back of his car and I wiped away the wetness from my face. By the time I had stopped sobbing, I was curled up on Troy's lap, my head resting right underneath his chin.

I felt exhausted, yet in a good way. I sat up and tried to get off Troy's lap but he held me there.

"Just relax..." He whispered soothingly, "It's fine, just take some deep breaths."

I did as I was told and settled back into his lap.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Sorry for what?" He continued rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry for...for crying like that. On you."

"Don't be. Thank you."

"Thank you for what?" Now it was my turn to be confused.

"Thank you for talking, for crying. I didn't mean to make you cry, but Ella you had me so-"

"Ella." I said, interrupting him.

"What? You don't like me calling you that? I'm sorry, I won't use it anymore-"

"No, I like it." I interrupted him again, "I just haven't been called that in such a long time. I...I missed it."

"Well, then you will always be Ella to me."

I just sighed against him.

We sat for a few more minutes in silence. Troy gently rubbing my back and running his hand through my hair tenderly and me just feeling his chest rise and fall, just listening to his steady heart beat. Then I spoke, "We're late for school, or we're going to be."

"We are." Troy agreed, "But it doesn't matter."

He looked down at me and a long sigh escaped his lips.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm just...I'm really sorry Ella."

"Why? You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you earlier. I hate to think how long you've gone without telling anyone, and here I am, I could've done something earlier!" Troy's voice was heavy with regret.

"It doesn't matter. I wouldn't have told you earlier. We should start going again though." I said quickly changing the subject, "We don't want to be too late for school." I slid back into the passenger's seat.

"Okay, if you're sure you want to go to school today. Do you really feel up to it?" Troy looked at me carefully.

I smiled at him, a genuine smile, or at least pretty close to a genuine smile, "I do. I actually feel a lot better than have these past few weeks, I can go to school."

"Well, then let's go." And he started the engine.

I really did feel a lot better. I was glad that even though I told Troy a lot it didn't seem like he was really interested in the details of what I was saying, but more that I was saying it. I was especially glad he didn't ask about Ray . For some reason, I just couldn't picture the both of them at the same time.

I looked at Troy and a small smile crept onto my lips.

"Thank you Troy."

**Okay, guys, so what do you think? A very emotional chapter, I just really hope I got the tone right. I didn't realize how hard these scenes are! I hope it turned out good! **

**So Gabriella finally told Troy! Is this the first step for Gabriella to solve her trust issues, or will Ray butt in and screw it all up again? And about Gabriella's mom...Could the fact that her mom gave up on her be the reason that Gabriella has these self-esteem issues? Can Troy work past them?**

**I'm gonna try to answer these questions in the next few chapters along with other things! Thank you so much for reading!**

**Thanks especially to: **hopelessromanticgurl**, **Ceciliaa93**, **Bluebell140**, **pumpkinking5**, and **yogaluva** and all my favorites and story alerts. It's you that keep me writing!**

**Oh and thanks for the name suggestions! I liked Briella a lot, but I wanted something a little shorter so I shortened it. I liked Brie Bear but I have that in mind for a different story (If I get around to it) so I hope it's fine if I use that later...Thanks so much again!**


	11. Chapter 11

I walked into school with Troy by me. The hallways were empty, but I didn't mind. A few more minutes without having to face the rest of the world. Troy waited by my locker as I got my books and walked me to my first class. I didn't mind that either.

I _did_ feel better. The talk really did help. But I still felt weak. I felt almost like the way one does after being sick for a while. I was still recovering.

I walked into the class room and took the tardy. It was my first one in the class so I didn't really care. Troy waited until I sat down at my desk, then left to get his own books and go to his own class I presumed.

Through the day, I realized that everything seemed a little brighter. The kindness I didn't notice while I was upset, now seemed so clear. All the little helping hands, and friendly smiles I had been missing, were now seen, and it felt good to know that there is good out in the world, in my life. I felt better physically too. I could breathe a little deeper, and smile a little more. And how weird it felt to smile after a month of constant frowning. It was refreshing. Like stretching a muscle that had been tense and cramped for so long. I walked with less of a shuffle and more of a spring.

And I didn't mind it at all when Troy walked me to my classes. I actually kind of liked it. He walked me to _all_ of my classes, and I had a feeling that made him late to most of his classes. I even could stand the shrilly voice of Sharpay without wanting to throttle her.

When lunch came, I found myself feeling hungry. Hungry! I hadn't felt actual hunger all month! And even that felt good. I smelled the fragrance of food and felt my stomach rumbling. I hadn't felt this hungry in a while and even hunger beat the numb feeling I had been carrying around for a month.

Troy was still by me and heard my stomach growl. He looked at me and smiled, "Hungry much?"

"Heck yeah, I haven't eaten, really eaten, in a month!" I said, looking up at him, smiling too.

I made my way to the lunch line. I never had liked cafeteria food, I always tried to bring my own lunch, but I hadn't made myself a lunch since I thought I wouldn't be hungry, just like I hadn't been hungry for the past month. The cafeteria food looked positively wonderful to me, though, so I eagerly piled my plate high. I paid for the food and thanked the lunch lady heartily (I surprised her a little) and came to sit with Taylor and my other friends. Troy followed a little behind then caught up to me and walked next to me.

"Do you want me to sit with you?" He asked quietly.

I looked at him and shook my head, "No, I'll be fine. You can sit with your friends. I think we need a little break from each other. You've been following me everywhere."

"Just because I'm worried about you." He said back smartly.

"Don't be. There isn't anything to be worried about." I said.

Troy just looked at me and I realized what I had just said.

"What I'm saying is, there isn't anything wrong _anymore_. I'm fine _now!_" I said exasperated.

"Well okay then, Miss 'I-just-had-a-breakdown-this-morning-but-I'm-perfectly-fine'" Troy said roughly, but the twinkle in his eye told me otherwise. Then he ruffled my hair and started walking toward the table with all his friends, "Have fun!"

"Don't mind if I do! And you messed up my hair!" I called to him, laughing.

But my laughing stopped as I neared the table where my friends were sitting. I hadn't sat with them in a whole month, let alone talked with them. Basically, I had ignored them. And, I admit, I was a little afraid. A little afraid that they were mad at me for that. A little afraid that they weren't friends with me anymore. A little afraid that they wouldn't let me join them at the table. I mean, it was a long time to ignore friends, especially friends I had just recently gained. I wouldn't be surprised if they had moved on. I mean, why would they care so much about me? They hadn't really been able to get to know me before I had pulled away from them. I wasn't that special in the first place. It was a miracle as it is that they had become friends with me in the first place. I was asking too much by trying to be friends with them again.

By the time my "pep talk" was over I was thoroughly terrified and was only 10 steps away from their table. They hadn't noticed me yet and I wasn't sure if I wanted them to. I took a step closer and bit my lip. I looked over to where Troy was sitting. Maybe I would be safer there. I knew that Troy at least wasn't furious at me. I looked over to the empty bench that had been my only companion at lunch for the past month. Maybe I should just sit there again. They probably didn't want me to sit with them. No, they most definitely didn't want me. They seemed quite happy without me. Probably more happy _without_ me.

Yes, there was no doubt in my mind now. I had convinced myself that they did not like me anymore and no longer wanted to be my friends. So I was already turning around to sit on my lonely bench when I heard my name.

"Hey! Gabriella!"

I turned around quickly, surprised and excited and nervous. Not knowing what to say or whom I was speaking to I replied hesitantly, "Yes?"

"Over here! Are you actually eating today?"

I knew that voice. And it was still as friendly as ever.

"Hi Taylor." I greeted shyly, "Do you mind if I sit with you guys…?"

"Of course not! Sit down!" Taylor said patting the space on the bench beside her.

Good bye lonely bench!

"Thanks. Sorry I haven't sat with you guys in so long.." I looked apologetically at Taylor and my other used-to-be lunch buddies.

"Heyyy. Don't worry about it," Timothy said, reaching his hand over to pat mine, "Sorry we didn't make a better effort to get you to sit with us."

I smiled at his thick red hair and replied, "No, don't even try to blame it on yourself. I won't buy it mister. I've been rude. Ignoring you guys. It's really nice of you guys to let me sit with you again after…"

"Stop it!" Cried Sarah, "Stop blaming yourself. We've been the rude ones! It's obvious that you're going through some rough patches and we haven't been there for you!"

"But," I interrupted, getting impatient with these people, "You really didn't know me that well, it's only expected you would leave me alone. That was probably the most logical thing to do anyways.."

"Logical! You mean the cowardly thing to do!" Brian spoke up, "Come on Gabriella, stop denying it. We were bad friends to you. We weren't there for you when you needed us most. Face the facts."

"No, you're NOT bad friends!" I said, almost yelling in frustration, "You are wonderful friends. Because even after I gave you guys the silent treatment and ignored you and pushed you away, you were still there and you still waited for me and didn't give up on me and are still friends with me even through all that!"

It looked like my friends were about to start arguing with me again when Taylor yelled, "ENOUGH ALREADY! We've all been terrible friends but now we are happy good friends again and we can quit arguing, because I would like to eat in relative silence and Gabriella is wasting away over there so everyone shut up and let's eat."

And thus the good preacher Taylor ended the argument and it wasn't brought up again(in front of Taylor).

Lunch was actually, believe it or not, good! We laughed and talked, and I ate too! It felt so good to leave the lunchroom feeling full! And the rest of the school day was good too, great even. I answered questions in class, I felt like I did really good on my test, people talked to me and smiled at me, I even got in trouble for talking too much in class!

By the time I reached homeroom, there was a smile on my face and a spring, literally, in my step. I sat next to Troy and he smiled at me. And yes, I smiled back.

"How's your day been going?" He asked me quietly.

"Very, very good." I answered.

"And I'm driving you home today, right?"

"Yes. You _are_ like my only ride."

"Okay then! But I won't be able to drive you much longer, we are starting conditioning for basketball this week. So yeah, either you can wait or you are going to have to find another ride." Troy looked at me, waiting for my answer.

I thought hard. I didn't know if I wanted to wait on him. He probably wasn't expecting me to want to wait. He probably was expecting me to find a different ride. I honestly didn't feel like walking home, and I was too shy and timid to go on the bus. Taylor took the bus so I couldn't get a ride with her, and my mom had been so busy lately the chance that she would drive me home was very unlikely. Waiting for Troy wouldn't be so bad. I could study and do homework in the library. And I could be away from my mom and her _boyfriend_ a little longer. And the library was a nice spot to work. A bunch of books at my fingertips, quiet solitude, no intruding men to worry about. And I would probably feel more at home in the library than anywhere else. Plus, I had kind of gotten into the routine of Troy driving me to school and back, I kind of liked it.

I looked at Troy who had turned around to talk to another guy and nod to a couple swooning girls. He wasn't expecting a yes. That had to be sure. If I said yes, would he be upset? I knew that even if he was upset that I said yes, he wouldn't show it, but I didn't want to annoy him. Even if he didn't show it. I actually hate that the most. It's like those people who don't like you but won't tell it to your face or tell you, so you are in agony wondering whether you're annoying them or not at any given moment, always wondering whether you're their friend or you're just tolerated.

I was going to go out on a limb though, and assumed that Troy would be pleasantly surprised. More like, hoped he would be pleasantly surprised. I tapped him timidly on the shoulder. He didn't feel it. I tapped harder, more confidently.

He turned around, the laugh still forming in his throat, "Yes?"

"Could I... could I stay and wait until after your practice and get a ride home with you?" I asked carefully and quietly. He didn't reply and I started talking more nervously and hurriedly, "I would just stay in the library and wouldn't bother you at all. I understand if you don't want me to, because you probably didn't expect me to say yes, but I really don't want to have to find another ride and the library is a nice place to-"

"That's fine! That's great, actually. Don't worry about it. I didn't really want you finding a different driving buddy anyways, you're mine!" He laughed.

I laughed timidly back. And then I bit my lip, again, I was confused as to why he was so happy to have me drive home with him. Again it didn't make any sense. Again there just had to be something else going on that I didn't get. Because there wasn't anything special about, there still wasn't. In the back of my mind I pictured the worst-case-scenario, I imagined that somehow, someway this was some plot against me. And as much as I just wanted to push the thought out of my head, separate the confusion from me, I couldn't.

And I admitted it, despite my happiness, my relief and all that good stuff, I wasn't satisfied, because I still didn't understand. I still couldn't find any good reason as to why everyone was so nice to me. I just wasn't accustomed to kindness for no reason, for no price, and it made me uneasy.

And the only one who had a reason, who gave me a reason, was Ray. And even though there was a tiny voice in the back of my head telling me that I shouldn't call him, I had to. I just had to.

**Hey fanfiction! I am so sorry about how long it's been, and it's not even that good of a chapter! Well, even though you probably don't want to hear my excuses, what happened was that I lost my flash drive with the story and when I did find it, I was just lost. Completely lost. I didn't know where I was in the story, where I was going with it and so on. And then I just got plain writer's block. (As usual) Again, I'm so sorry, and if any of my old fans/faves are still reading this then I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me, and if not, well… it's understandable. Sorry again! And thanks for reading & commenting!**


	12. Chapter 12

I stepped inside my house and slammed the door behind me. I was happy. I had had a good day. Life wasn't so dark, the outlook appeared bright. I felt like I was going to be okay. I smiled and sighed, and then my smile left me, empty and cold. I needed to call Ray. I went upstairs to my room and picked up my phone.

I had a certain urge to just toss the phone out my window, to put it down and do something else instead. There was a subtle shudder that went through my body as I thought of Ray. A dread I never noticed before. I didn't really want to talk to Ray. I never really had. I didn't want to. I wanted to put the phone back and take a walk, or hang out with Taylor. I wanted to do my homework even. I wanted to be happy a little longer. I didn't really feel like getting scolded by Ray for telling Troy everything. Every single thing. But it wasn't really a choice for me anymore, in fact, I don't think it had been for some time. I had to call Ray. Even if I didn't want to, even if though there was a bazillion other things I wanted to do, I had to call Ray. It was habit, or more than that. It was instinct. Ray was still my lifeline, my listener, even when he didn't really listen. I needed him and he was okay with that and accepted that. Almost encouraged that. I shivered, for some reason I really didn't like that last part. _I needed him._ But it was true and I just shook off the anxious feeling, and substituted my fear of Ray with that of Troy.

I had never noticed my dread of talking to Ray until today, after I had talked to Troy. So, logically, this was Troy's fault. It came back to Troy. Ray was right all along, I had given more power to Troy and now for some reason I was afraid to call Ray, and I hadn't even told Troy about Ray! It was as simple, as logical, as that.

The fear and dread was still there as I dialed Ray's number, but a determination, a persistency was there also that kept me dialing. It rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ray, it's Gabi."

"Need to talk again?" He guessed, and I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Of course I was here to talk, like I had been for the past month, but this time I had news.

"Yeah, well, I need to tell you something..."

"Yeah..."

"I told someone else. I told someone else what I've been telling you."

"What? I told you to just keep it between you and me, that other people, those people who say they're your friends, will just use it against you. I warned you! Why didn't you listen?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I just broke, I couldn't take it anymore and you're so far away.." I started to choke up on my words, but Ray was too furious to comfort me.

"What did you say? How much did you say?"

"Everything!" I sobbed, overcome with fear of Ray, of screwing up my life. At the time it had felt so good to tell Troy, so right, but now, with Ray mad at me, I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing. Maybe I really had made a huge mistake, and now I couldn't reverse it. "I'm really sorry! I didn't know, I thought it was the right thing-"

"But I told you!"

"I know, I know, but I thought that maybe you had made a mistake or something..."

"You though I had-? You thought wrong, look what you've done! What happened, when did this happen?"

"This-this-this morning. I was upset again and I got in his truck and then I spilled. I told him everything-"

"Him? His truck! Don't tell me you told-"

"Troy! I know I know it was wrong! Now!" I cried.

"I told you not to get rides with him anymore."

"But I didn't have any other ride, and I just thought it wouldn't make a difference who I rode with."

"You thought, you thought! You just need to stop thinking and listen! How could you tell Troy? That guy already has so much power over you it's not good at all, and this is worse!"

"I'm sorry! I'M SORRY! Please tell me I didn't screw it, it had just felt sooo good, I wasn't thinking or doing it just happened!"

"Well don't let it happen again. Stay away from him. Don't talk to him or anything." Ray said calming himself down. "Don't think just listen. I know what's good for you."

"Are you sure?" Slipped out of my mouth before I had to chance to figure out what I was saying.

"Of course I'm sure! Look what happened when you didn't listen to me, when you listened to yourself!"

"Yeah, I had a good day." I whispered, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"What, what did you say? Speak up!"

"I said I had a good day. After I told Troy it felt good. I felt good. Ray, is feeling good bad? Are you sure that he's bad?" I was suddenly curious. My better part was telling me that Troy wasn't bad, but the needy part of me wanted to cling to Ray, to listen to every word that came from Ray's mouth like it was God's spoken word. I was fighting with myself whether to trust Ray, and was unsure whether to cry to him or turn away from him.

"Stay away from him and listen to me." Ray said again.

"Ray, is feeling good bad?" I repeated, louder and confidently .

"He wasn't making you feel good. He didn't make you feel good. so stay away from him."

"But he did. I know what happened, I know what I felt at the time. He made me feel good." I countered stubbornly.

"Well what happened then, you really haven't told me too much!"

I told him. I hesitated at the very beginning when Troy called me Ella. I waited until the end of my story to tell Ray about that part.

"Ella?"

"Yes." I almost sighed, "That's what he called me. Ella. He called me that in the beginning and that's the reason I told him everything I think. That's what got me."

"Just Ella? Do you want _me_ to call you Ella?" Ray said thoughtfully.

"No." I said quickly, "I like you calling me Gabi." For some reason I didn't like the thought of Ray using that name on me. It was a special name, and I didn't want Ray owning that special name, saying it to me, tossing that name around, using that name to yell at me. No, that name should be used gently, quietly, lovingly. And somehow Troy could do that. Somehow he filled those requirements. And Ray just.. didn't.

"So is that the whole story?"

"There's a little more. After that, I felt good, for the rest of the day." I didn't add that I felt good for the rest of the day until I went to call Ray himself.

"Maybe you _thought_ you felt good for the rest of the day-"

"I felt good for the rest of the day. I did."

"Yet you came crying to me on the phone? I think he made you think you felt good for a little while so that you would want to talk to him again."

"I still don't see how feeling good is a bad thing. Even if it's just for a little bit, it's better than not feeling good at all."

"It's like a drug Ella-'

"Call me Gabi. I like being called Gabi."

"Fine, it's like a drug _Gabi_. It makes you feel good, so you keep going back for more. But every time he's going to make you pay a higher price. And in his case, for now, it's power over you. That's his price. Do you want someone having that much control over you?"

"No, but you make it sound bad."

"Because it is bad."

"But I'm not sure of that!" I yelled suddenly.

"Why not? I just told you so."

"Because I'm not sure of you! I haven't felt this good in days, weeks, months even. And I just can't see this as a bad thing."

"It is. When you tell one person this much then he has practically unlimited power over you. You are depending on this guy to give you happiness. That's not good."

"Then maybe I should tell all my friends. Then I'm not depending on one person. I have a lot of people to turn to."

"That's even worse. They could all turn on you, and if just one did then you're still screwed. Stay away from all those people. You can't trust them. Don't tell Troy any thing else. Stick with me. You can trust me."

"Can I?" I murmured.

"What?"

"I said okay." I lied smoothly.

"Well I've got to go now. But don't hurt yourself more. Stick with me. Don't give Troy anymore power over you. Bye."

This time I didn't say bye. I just hung up.

My mind was in turmoil. I felt that part of me, the clingy part, trying to believe Ray , to trust him. Yet my better, stronger part was fighting with it, telling me that I should think for myself. Troy made me feel good, Ray made me feel bad. But Troy was bad. Was he? Ray said so. Maybe Ray's right. He says he's right. He's my friend. He is there for me. I know Ray and who he is. I don't know Troy. But do I want to know Troy? maybe. But Ray says' I shouldn't. Ray's never met Troy. Maybe Ray's made a mistake.

Maybe Ray's made a mistake.

A doubt formed in my mind and this time I didn't push it away, this time I let it blossom

Ray made a mistake.

Ray was my friend, a good friend. And he knew a lot. And I knew he was there for me. But nobody's perfect. Nobody is right about everything. Including Ray. So maybe Ray was wrong this one time. Maybe it was okay to tell Troy. Maybe it would be okay to tell Taylor. Ray was just watching out for me, he always had been. Maybe he was just being overprotective, like a good friend should be, and had made a mistake.

I wanted to trust Ray and everything he had to say, but I had a voice of my own. I had a mind and eyes and ears and a voice of my own. And they were telling me Troy was good. And I had been trusting Ray so much, it was time that I started trusting myself. A little bit at least. so I decided that though Ray only meant the best, was just being a good friend, he had made a mistake and was wrong about Troy.

I fell back onto my bed and breathed. For some reason, accepting that Ray made a mistake felt really good. Relief flowed through me. For the longest time I had placed myself in a world where nobody believed me or trusted me. Where nobody had confidence in me. And I was the biggest offender. How could I expect anyone to trust me, how could I trust anyone, without trusting myself? Now I had, and it felt amazing! Wonderful!

Ray said that I would become dependent on Troy, but it was far from it. In telling Troy, in making that choice, I had become more independent. And I liked that. It was invigorating. It was just what I needed.

And a small voice in my head said it was just what Ray didn't want. I wasn't ready to accept that though. It was hard enough convincing myself that Ray, the sacred Ray, had made a mistake. Even thinking that Ray meant to hurt me was too much now. Still I felt a burden that I had never known was there lifted off my shoulder and smiled then I laughed.

I felt good. I really felt good.

**I wasn't going to make this a huge chapter, but then I decided that something big had to happen since nothing too huge happened the last chapter. So Gabriella's finally started thinking for herself! She's got the seed of doubt planted in her mind and hopefully with the help of Troy it will grow until she finally sees the truth. But something really big is going to have to happen for Gabriella to finally accept the truth, she's been dependent on Ray for so long.**

**Thanks so much for reading & commenting! It means so much to me that you wonderful people have stuck with me! I hope I don't disappoint you! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

It was Friday, I felt good. My "days of silence" as Taylor called them were over. And, in my own way, I had stood up to Ray. On a spurt of boldness I grabbed the phone book and looked up Troy's home phone.

And I called him. Just like that, before I could give myself a chance to rethink anything.

"Hello?" A kind, feminine voice answered on the second ring.

"Hi, um, this is Gabriella…" And then came the regret. Why did I call again? I knew why of course. To talk to Troy, but why couldn't I wait until Monday? Well, I knew that answer too. I _could_ wait until Monday…But I didn't really want to. I wanted to talk to Troy today, to share my happiness with him, because for some reason my happiness had something to do with him...our talk. And anyway, it seemed like a good time to start repaying some friendliness. I had just realized how distant and rude I had been to Troy, how I had put down all his compliments, friendly comments, anything nice he had ever done to me. It was my turn to be nice.

But still… maybe if Troy had been the one to answer I wouldn't be regretting my call. No, considering myself, I still probably would've regretted it. Why did I have to be so shy? I wish I had never called or that nobody had picked up. But I did call and I had to say something. And soon. "This is Gabriella" wasn't really going to cut it.

"Erm, I'm Gabriella and I was just, um, wondering if I could speak with Troy?" I added in a small voice, "Maybe?"

"Oh sure, I'll go get him. Yes Gabriella, I think I've heard your name before… Oh right, Troy drives you to school doesn't he?" She said in recognition. She was very open and friendly, even through the phone. I pictured how she looked by her voice. Slender maybe… and neat, and of course nice. She probably had blonde hair like Troy, but blonder than his. I imagined he got his blue eyes from her. She probably had big, pretty eyes. Her nails would be neat, she sounded like someone who kept her nails neat. No matter what she looked like she seemed nice…and for me, that was what I was most worried about. She could look like a toad for all I cared about that aspect of her.

Mrs. Bolton kept chatting pleasantly, "Oh yes, I have heard about you… I don't know how I could've forgotten. Troy hardly mentions anything about school – I suppose that is a boy thing though, all my friends tell me the same – but of the few things he _does_ tell me about school, you missy, are one of them… He _does_ drive you to school doesn't he; I'm not mistaking you for someone else?"

I nodded, then, remembering she couldn't see me, mumbled a yes.

"Good, good. I'm just so busy these days, I forget almost everything. But being busy is expected when you're starting your own business. I suppose that's why it's called BUSY-ness…" She kept talking and I drifted off into my own thoughts.

Troy talked about me? I hoped it was nice things. By the way Mrs. Bolton said it though, they were nice things, so I probably didn't have too much to worry about. I still did worry though. I always worried. I always loved to doubt myself, it was my thing. And it was coming on full blast despite my good mood. I mean, why would I think that Troy would want to talk to me? How could I just assume that I was being friendly and nice to Troy by calling him. How could I possibly expect him to be happy to have _me_ call. What was I thinking? Oh, what was I thinking? He probably did **not** want to talk to me. He probably had tons of other things he wanted to do. He probably would sound disappointed at my voice, or bothered even. I shuddered at the thought. I hated being a bother.

"Troy!" I heard Mrs. Bolton yell. It was louder and more forceful than I expected from her friendly, pleasant voice, but I soon understood why she had to call Troy like that.

From far off I heard Troy's reply, "Mooooom, I'm in the middle of a game!"

"You can stop for a moment, there's someone on the phone who wants to talk to you!" She yelled back, then she said in her pleasant voice to me, "Boys will be boys."

I gulped, and was about to say that I could just call back later when she started yelling to Troy again.

"Troy, get over here!"

"Come on, we're tied, you can't just stop us now! Tell him to call back later or he can even come and join us-" Troy was cut off and I heard a bunch of other guys' yells and shouts in the background.

"It's not a he, it's a _she_!" Mrs. Bolton yelled back.

"Mrs. Bolton it's really fine, I can just call back later…." I began quietly.

Troy groaned, "Tell Sharpay I'm busy, and will be…for the ENTIRE weekend! Make that every weekend actually.. I'm ALWAYS busy!"

I heard some of the guys snicker at Troy's response.

"Troy! You know not to speak that way about her, she is a-a very um, fine young lady." Mrs. Bolton said, though with very little conviction, "Anyway, it isn't Sharpay who called."

"Mrs. Bolton," I said, "I really don't _need _to talk to Troy. I can call back later…"

Mrs. Bolton didn't appear to hear. She just seemed determined to get Troy to the phone.

"Well then who is it?" Troy shouted over the sound of guys shouting and gasping.

"It's-" Mrs. Bolton began.

"Really it's fine!" I pleaded with her, "I'll just hang up and call another time!"

"Gabriella." Mrs. Bolton finished despite my desperate attempt for her to just let me hang up and call again another time. Oh, why couldn't she just let me hang up and call again! Why did she have to announce my name in front of whoever was at Troy's house? Why did I even call in the first place?

There was a moment of silence, then someone blew a wolf whistle and it all started at once. All of Troy's friends started whistling and shouting and making fun of him… because I called. At least I wasn't there in person so nobody could see me blushing. In the mirror I saw my face was a bright red.

"Here's Troy now…" Mrs. Bolton said, and I could practically _hear_ the smirk in her voice. She had beaten him. Of course she didn't consider the embarrassment it had cause me so I couldn't force myself to be angry at her.

"Hey Ella, what's up?" Troy panted, "Is something wrong?" Already he was concerned about me.

Well now here was Troy. I could talk to him now.

But what to say? I hadn't really thought about _what_ to say to him. I had called him suddenly in a mood unlike myself and hadn't even considered what to talk about. And then with Mrs. Bolton, I hadn't had time to really think about a conversation. Well, first things first, I guess I should start with just answering his question.

"Nothing's wrong… I just thought maybe I'd ask you if we could hang out…" I surprised even myself with that. THAT certainly had not been part of whatever plan I had had in mind. But it was the first thing that popped into my head and I said it so I might as well just go with it.

"Well I have some friends over today…" Troy started.

"Oh, I know, I just meant sometime this weekend maybe… Unless you're busy the ENTIRE weekend." I added mischievously.

Troy chuckled, "Yeah, about that, I just might not be busy the entire weekend actually… but I was gonna say that you can still come over today if you want. The guys wouldn't mind it, and to be honest, my mom's a bit lonely being the only lady here and all." He said confidentially.

"Well…"

"Aw come on. My dad's grilling chicken and he's a pretty good cook…"

"Still, that's a lot of guys in one place it sounds like." I was still unsure. Okay, I was terrified to go. Would they make fun of me when I got there like they had to Troy?

"They're just a bunch of my stupid friends." He said stupid louder than the rest of his sentence and I guessed that that part was directed more at his friends than to me, "You don't have to worry."

"_Still_!"

"Hmmm…. Well, if it makes you feel any better, we invited the neighbors and they have a little girl. She's 10. You could keep her company. She's kind of shy."

It did make me feel better, but I couldn't help but ask, "Are there going to be anymore girls?" My mind was on Sharpay when I asked but really, it didn't specifically mean JUST Sharpay. Troy understood anyway.

"Don't worry. The Bolton's don't do _everything_ with the Evans! So will you come? At least come for the little girl. I'm sure you understand how bored she'll be at my house without another girl."

"Okay fine." I said grudgingly, "But, um, could you pick me up? I don't really have a ride."

"Sure! Right now?"

"Why not!" I said, with more enthusiasm than I expected from myself. I was glad to actually be doing something during my weekend, glad that Troy wanted me to come so bad, glad that I'd actually get to know him better and hopefully, hopefully I'd be able to figure out why he was so nice to me!

As I waited for Troy to come by and pick me up (I didn't change my clothes, I didn't really see a reason to), I thought over our conversation on the phone. I had called and asked him to hang out with me, but yet again, he was the one who had to convince me to come over. Even at my attempted friendliness, he was the one who really was being the nice one. I had been the person that grudgingly agreed to come over, as usual, and he had been the one to get me over, as usual. I wished he would stop being so nice to me so I could _finally_ have the chance to be nice to him!

And, as expected of me, I also started wondering about _why_ he was so nice to me. I mean, why did he want me over so bad? What was so great about me…? I thought hard for a little while and then started doing something that I had never thought of before. Instead of going over all the bad things about me, I started thinking about all the good things about me.

I made a mental list of all my good aspects and was surprised with how many I came up with: Smart (Those all A's don't just mean anything), Witty (turns out that sarcasm isn't ALL bad), nice smile (Taylor told me so after complaining that I didn't smile enough), funny (when I wanted to be), an infectious laugh (Timothy's reason for tickling me so much), and even my shyness could be a good thing (Sarah told me this in the beginning of the school year when I had been complaining about it. She had said that the fact that I was shy meant that I didn't open up to just anyone so to the people I _did_ open up to, it was a lot more special).

I felt good after that. Whenever I called Ray, we would always talk about the bad things about me and how there wasn't a good reason behind Troy being nice to me. Doing this, thinking of the good things about me, felt better and made more sense. Instead of finding reasons for why Troy's kindness – or anyone's kindness for that matter – didn't make sense, I was looking for reasons for why it did make sense. And that, overall, made much more sense. And who would've guessed that I would actually find ANY reasons. Maybe it wasn't so crazy that Troy was nice to me….

As Troy's car pulled up I smiled. I wasn't all bad.

And maybe, when I called Ray again, I could tell him about my new idea of coming up with all the reasons why Troy's friendliness to me made sense. I'm sure the two of us could come up with plenty more reasons than I had just come up with if we worked together. But still, tugging at the back of my mind, I wasn't quite sure if Ray would like my suggestion.

An idea had been forming in my head since our talk, actually, the idea had started a while ago, and I had just ignored it. But now I thought about it a little more. I wasn't sure if Ray would like my suggestion because… I had a feeling that Ray didn't want me believing that Troy was nice to me just because Troy was nice. For some reason I had this crazy idea that Ray didn't want me to be friends with Troy. Or anyone except him for that matter. But it hurt to think like that. So, as usual, I ignored the idea.

Well mostly… It was still there though, waiting, because I wasn't ready to give up on myself and my idea that easy just yet.

**Thank you all soooo much for reading and reviewing! I know that it's been FOREVER! I'm sooo sorry! I've been so busy with school and sports and all I haven't had a chance to even think about it, not to mention the drama in my own life! Good grief, drama is much more enjoyable in stories…. **

**If you're still sticking with me then you MUST be some sort of angels, if you've just started reading…join the party! And be prepared for delayed updates… Gabriella is becoming a lot more independent in a really short amount of time, but everything's been building up to this she was bound to burst at some point, so here it is. Gabriella is becoming skeptical of Ray now and his motives. Is she skeptical enough though to talk about Ray to Troy? **

**Before I go (and start working on the next chapter before I get sidetracked again) I want to give a shout out to all my wonder reviewers; **yogaluva, pumpkinking5, hopelessromanticgurl , Bluebell140, coolio1206. **And a thanks to all the favorites and story alerts! It means more than you could ever think.**


	14. Chapter 14

Troy rang the doorbell and I skipped to the door and opened it.

"Ready to go?" He asked, surprised, but happy, at my enthusiasm.

"Yes, I am. Thanks for inviting me over. Sorry I was kind of reluctant to go at first… I'm shy. And, I still am a little afraid that, well… Are your friends going to make fun of me … like the way they made fun of you?" I asked Troy as we walked to his car.

"Naw. They are a bunch of idiots, but they aren't mean like that. They'll leave you alone, and if they don't, well, let's just say I'll take care of it, okay?" He punched his fist into his palm in a mock fierce way.

"Somebody hold him back!" I joked.

"Anyway, they just made fun of me because we're good friends, they're all really nice… and they know I talk about you a lot." He looked down at me expectantly.

"Yeah friends do that; I can imagine all my friends making fun of me if you had called me…" I said thoughtfully.

"Is it 'cause you talk about me to them a lot?" Troy asked, a strange look in his eyes.

"No, noo. I promise I don't gossip about you. Well, I mean, at first we talked a little bit about you. But not in a bad way! More of a confused way really, I mean we didn't spread rumors...we just talked. Like I don't know. Just as something to talk about… I really DON'T try to gossip so just-just don't worry about it… I guess?" I was all flustered. Did he know about Ray? About the long conversations we had about Troy, and all my other friends, and how Troy probably had a plot or something against me? No, of course he couldn't, could he?

_No_, I reassured myself, he couldn't. I never told anyone about those conversations. I had never brought up Ray before even. Should I now?

Troy looked suspicious, or what appeared to be suspicion to me, "So you _do_ talk about me?" He asked.

"Well, at first, I asked Taylor about you. That's all. I just wanted to know a little more about you, you know, since I was getting a ride with you, and you were practically a total stranger." There. That was somewhat truthful. I had talked a little bit about Troy with Taylor in the beginning of the year. After that, I went into my depressive period and only talked to Ray, so I hadn't had a chance to talk to Taylor anymore and she seemed over that fad anyway. She had plenty of other things to talk about by now.

"Oooh, yeah, I can understand that." Troy said as he helped me into his old truck. Was that disappointment written on his face? I didn't have a chance to confirm that as he quickly flashed a smile my way and hopped in the driver's seat.

"You're going to be a little early, but that's fine right? The little girl and her family will be over in about half an hour and so will the rest of the guys and some of their families." Troy said cheerily.

"Oh that's fine. I'll just umm, watch you guys play or something…"

"You can join the game too you know. Who knows, you might be awesome at basketball!" He said.

So that's what they had been playing… I recalled Troy mentioning something about basketball in the very beginning of the year and just a little while ago too. That reminded me.

"I'd prefer watching I think… I'm not the sportiest. Oh, and Troy, you did say I could wait in the library when you had basketball practice and then you could still drive me home, right?"

"Yeah, that's perfect. You can watch practice too if you want…" He looked at me hopefully.

"I might… I need to catch up on school work right now though. Being depressed does take a toll on grades." I replied practically.

"Of course… but you better come to at least one game. It would break my heart if you didn't!" He pretended to wipe tears away from his eyes.

"I'll try, but if I do break your heart I'll be sure to pay for all of the repair costs personally!"

"Oh, I wouldn't charge you." Troy said.

Then he added, "Toooo much money. But you know, hearts are pretty expensive."

"I'm sure you could find one at the dollar store if you just kept looking." I said laughing.

"Are you saying that I deserve a heart worth a dollar?" Troy asked, trying to act angry, but failing miserably.

"It would be _my_ dollar that paid for it, so shuddap and be grateful!"

"Yes ma'am." Troy said, making a face like a sullen school boy.

We continued to banter at each other until we arrived at his house and he helped me out.

He had a nice house, with a large driveway perfect for playing basketball with friends, pretty flower garden and a nice white picket fence with a gate leading to the backyard. Whoever did the landscaping did a lovely job. The house was a pale shade of yellow, bright, but not gaudy with big bright windows and tall trees growing around it. Fall was nearing so some of the leaves were already changing from green to faded oranges, bright yellows, and rustic browns. An old beat-up hammock was tied under two of the larger trees and I saw the small roof of a tree house peeking up from another tree in the backyard. I remembered having a tree house when I was younger. I had helped my dad build it and everything.

We had so much fun. My mom had sometimes come over to inspect and she usually brought cookies and lemonade with her. My dad did most of the work, but he would let me nail some boards together and help pick out wood and such. I probably got in the way more than I actually helped, but my dad didn't mind and we all had a good time. Those were the days when we were a close family, when we almost always had home cooked meals, when my mom loved my dad and my dad loved my mom and they both loved me. When my mom wasn't off kissing some other man, leaving me to fend for myself, when she wasn't betraying daddy, betraying me! When she wasn't erasing daddy from her life, ignoring me! She might as well just erase me from her life too, she practically was already! I tried to stop thinking about that before I got too angry.

Anyway, Troy was already leading me over to meet his mom. I had mostly guessed correctly about how she looked. She was neat, with her light blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was slender, but womanly, her face was thin but animated with big brown eyes and expressive eyebrows. She didn't wear much make up but she didn't really seem to need to. And guess what, her nails were neat and trim.

She greeted me kindly with a hug and complimented me saying that I was even prettier than Troy's descriptions. Troy turned a little red and I acted like nothing had happened so he wouldn't be embarrassed further. I'm sure my descriptions of people weren't spot on either, and I knew it wasn't meant as an insult. Troy's dad was already starting the grill but he gave me a friendly nod as Troy introduced me. Troy's friends were next. They were nice, but more interested in the game than in me. That suited me just fine.

After apologizing about leaving me alone Troy joined their game and I watched until everyone else began showing up.

Everyone was very nice and they all greeted me with smiles and I was unafraid to smile back. The little girl, her name was Annah I soon learned, was very sweet and I soon broke through her shyness. She followed me around adoringly and we played whatever games she wanted to play. She had long, straight, light brown hair that fell to her waist and the bangs were pulled back with a red bow. She was small looking but tall and her skin was a few shades lighter than her hair. She had a beautiful smile whenever she was happy to give you one. She gave me plenty (not to brag or anything).

Troy's friends were polite enough, though they mostly kept to themselves and didn't talk to me much. Was it that I, small and shy as I was, intimidated them? All the adults there were kind but liked to talk to other adults since many of them already knew each other through work or other get-togethers similar to these.

The food was great! The grilled chicken was done wonderfully and toasted garlic bread and fresh salad was served with it. Mrs. Bolton served blueberry cobbler for desert, though she confided in me that it wasn't really homemade…

I sat with the adults and Annah to eat. I didn't really feel like dodging food with the guys and they weren't the neatest eaters. It probably had something to do with the fact that they were guys and that they were outside. As I ate I asked Mrs. Bolton about her business that she had mentioned on the phone.

Her face brightened immediately, "Oh yes. Well," She sat up straighter and tried to appear serious, "I'm opening a dress store!" She looked at me excitedly and I tried to look just as excited back.

"That's awesome!" I said.

"It's always been a dream of mine and I can finally see it come true! It won't just be selling dresses of course, there will be other clothes too, but it's obviously a store for females. I was even thinking of designing some of my own dresses for it. Just a few. But still, it's actually happening!"

"That really is amazing." I said honestly, "I hope I can be that determined, in whatever I do." I added somewhat wistfully.

"Well at first I wasn't sure about it all. A lot of people told me that it wouldn't work and that I couldn't do it but here I am and I've done all the research and work and it's happening. It takes a lot of confidence. I had to ignore a lot of people and just trust in myself and abilities. You just have to find that one thing that makes you passionate and trust in yourself. At one time you reach a point where it's up to you and you have to trust in yourself, because at one point only _you _know what's best for you."

"Up to me…" I murmured.

Mrs. Bolton kept talking about her plans but I had already stopped listening as I thought about what she had said. At one point only I would know what's best for me. At one point Ray wouldn't be able to decide everything for me. At one point only I would know if Troy and all my other friends were what's best for me. My life wasn't ruled by Ray. I had the final say in everything, because at one point it really was up to me.

After the party Troy took me home and I hugged him good bye.

What was getting in to me? Since when had I become so daring? And yet, that wasn't a bad thing I realized. Trusting in myself, courage, those weren't bad things.

"Thanks for inviting me Troy; that was fun." I said as I pulled away.

"No problem! Sorry we didn't actually get to hang out that much. Maybe some other time?"

"Of course…" I smiled up at him.

He laughed, "I'm glad you're happy again. You seem even happier than you had been before the um… episode."

"Yeah, well I think I am happier. And it's great!"

"Good. And you're free to stop by any time you want to. And basketball practice starts Monday, so you know." Troy said.

"Got it! Bye!"

"Bye" He said smiling and hopped back in his car.

After he left I wondered if I should've told him about Ray, about all my conversations with him. A change had come over me at the party and now that I realized that Ray wasn't everything, I was ready to go to other people for advice. Advice _about_ Ray. I had been thinking about it the entire party but I had never really gotten a chance. And, okay, maybe I had been avoiding telling Troy, just a little bit.

Maybe some other time. Right now, I just wanted to bask in the warm glow of happiness. Troy didn't seem that bad and maybe now was the point where the choice was up to me. And now that it was, I decided that Troy was okay and that his kindness and friendliness weren't necessarily bad things. I chose to enjoy the kindness, to be nice back. Who knows, Troy could make a great friend. All my new friends could, because it might just turn out that the world isn't all bad…

I had made my choice. MY choice. Without Ray. Because, in this situation, I knew best; not Ray, not anyone else….Just me. And my choice was that _I _wanted to be friends with Troy and Taylor and all my other new friends, good friends.

I would still be friends with Ray, of course, but something had changed between us. It was like… I wasn't under his control any more. I shook my head. Under his control? That sounded so… bad, like Ray was some sort of evil dictator…. But still….

**DONE! Got that chapter finished. Not too much happens in this chapter but it's still an important step. In these past couple chapters Gabriella has been struggling with her decision about what to do about Troy and her friends and now it's final. She's made her decision that Troy and her friends aren't out to get her and is ready to embrace their friendliness.**

**Also in this chapter she is introduced to Troy's parents a little bit and is becoming more open and brave and realizing that she can't let Ray decide everything, it's her life! **

**Special thanks tooooooo….. **yogaluva , hopelessromanticgurl, Bluebell140, pumpkinking5, EllaPayneStyles18,**and ** dolphindreams16**! Thanks especially to the ones underlined! You wonderful people have stuck with me through it all and I really really REALLY appreciate it! Thank you to all the favorites & story alerts too! And please feel free to start commenting at any point!**


	15. Chapter 15

I walked inside and skipped upstairs. My mom gave me a strange look at my unusual happiness but shrugged and ignored me, like usual, and like usual I didn't really care. I pulled my door open and grabbed my phone.

I was calling Ray.

Not to cry to him or ask for his advice, not to let him tell me what to do and follow him blindly. I wasn't calling out of desperation or confusion. I was calling Ray out of courage and independence. I was calling Ray because I had made my decision and we needed to have a talk. A talk that had been put off for a long, long time. A talk that really needed to be had. And today was the day for it.

I wasn't scared when I started dialing, I didn't tremble when I heard the phone ringing. And I realized that this was the first time that I had called Ray and NOT been scared or upset. I stood and waited for him to pick up. He didn't the first time. But I wasn't going to quit that quick. I called again and he did pick up this time.

"_Hello? You know it's really kind of late to be calling…"_

"Hey Ray, it's Gabby! It's not that late, since when do you worry about how late it is anyway?"

"_Oh, hey Gabby. Well I have had a long day and I was actually getting ready to go to a party…."_

"Now?" I asked incredulously, "It's like 10 and you're going to a party?"

"_Yep."_

"Well should I call back later then?"

"_No. Talk. I'm listening…."_ He sounded bored but I didn't care actually. I didn't need all his attention. Anyway I had a feeling I'd get his attention soon enough.

"Well if you're going to a party I can just call back later, I can wait a few days to talk to you." That wasn't a lie. As of tonight I didn't need to talk to him. Yesterday that would've been a big, no a HUGE, fat lie, but tonight it wasn't. It was the absolute truth.

"_No! No, just tell me now_." Ray sounded surprise at me but he quickly tried to act like he wasn't fazed. "_Just get it over with."_ The boredom in his voice was obviously fake though. I saw right through his act.

"I don't want you to be late…."

"_I'm going to have to be anyway_."

"What-Why?" Okay, he got me on this one.

"_I'm not 'technically' allowed to go to the party so I was pretending to go to sleep so I could sneak out later. Now they know I'm awake so I have to go through all that again, so you might as well talk." _

"Oh!" Anyone could've heard the surprise in my voice, but I didn't think it was worth hiding. Anyway, now I could talk.

"Well then Ray, I think now would be a good time to have a talk."

"_Like what do you mean?"_

"_Like_ Ray I'm going to be friends with Troy and Taylor and all my other friends here because Ray, you're wrong."

"_Excuse me?"_

"I said I'm going to be friends with Troy and-" I said patiently.

"_No, I heard you but, why?"_ Ray interrupted. He sounded furious, _"How could you say I'm wrong? I told_ _you NOT to be friends with them, that they aren't really your friends-"_

"Ray, you don't know them, you've never met them; you've never talked to them or hung out with them or anything. And I have. And Ray, you're wrong. They aren't bad and they aren't out to get me." It was my turn to interrupt him.

"_Well, you never know. How can you be sure?"_

"How can you be sure they're bad?" I countered.

"_You can't know, so just stick with me."_

"Well sometimes you have to trust. And I'm trusting myself on this one. Because at one point the choice is up to me and only I know what's best for me!" I said proudly, remembering what Mrs. Bolton had said earlier that night.

"_But what if you trust the wrong people Gabby? I'm just looking out for you…."_ His voice was softer.

"I know you are but I can't always depend on you for everything."

"_Of course you could, because I'm always here for you and always will be."_

"But I'm my own person! And Ray, I need to trust myself, and right now I KNOW I'm right about Troy and Taylor and Sarah and Brian and all my other friends!"

"_So you really think I was wrong, that I AM wrong?"_

"Ray, everyone makes mistakes. Maybe if you knew them like I do-"

"_So basically you're saying you are going to trust these total strangers but you won't trust your best friend?"_

"Ray! It's not like that! I have been trusting you and they aren't total strangers. If anyone's the stranger here it's you or even me!"

"_What."_

Oh goodness, what did I just say. I just called Ray, my best friend from my old home, a stranger.

"I didn't mean it like that but Ray, I-I've changed a lot since last year and I'm sure you have too…"

"_So I'm a stranger now? Good to know distance won't change our relationship…"_ He said bitterly, but in a mocking tone too.

"I'm just saying that things have changed and that they are NOT total strangers, that I do trust you but everyone makes mistakes, and we have ALL changed a lot."

"_So if everyone makes mistakes how do you know you didn't make a mistake and not me?"_

"I don't know that…"

"_HA! So-"_

"But I do know that I have the last word Ray. If I did make a mistake I hope you will be there for me again, but I highly doubt I did. Ray, shouldn't you be happy for me? For the fact that I am believing in myself now?"

"_I… I am Gabby but I don't think you realize what you are doing right now."_

"I do Ray, and I will face whatever the consequences are. Although in most stories when the characters have faith in themselves things seem to work out better, so hopefully I won't have to worry about too many consequences."

"_Okay."_ He still seemed bitter, but this time I had had the final word in our conversation.

"Bye then, have fun at your party."

"_You won't stop calling me though right?"_

"Of course I'll call Ray, you _are_ still my best friend. I just probably won't call _quite_ as much, but that should be a relief for you. No more 6 AM calls from me!"

"_Wait, before you go, that thing about me being a stranger…"_

"Ray, I didn't REALLY mean that, but we have changed."

"_Yeah, but I was going to say that maybe so we can become less strangers you could come and visit me sometime…?"_

"Sure, I guess. When?"

"_Well there is this Fall Dance at my school and maybe you would want to come with me? Just as friends. You could see all your old friends and we could talk more. I'll tell you the date when I check it again, but it's in November so it's a little ways off."_

"Yeah, that sounds great! I'll ask about it but it will probably be a yes, just let me know."

"_And are you sure about Troy? I guess I understand the rest of your new friends, but I still don't trust this Troy…. He seems too good to be true."_

"That's what I thought too but maybe dreams-come-true and goodness aren't bad. Anyway, I was thinking about it and there really are some good aspects about me that make it make more sense about why Troy would be nice to me."

"_And you're modest too."_ Ray joked.

"Yeah, well, the whole think-of-all-the-bad-things-about-me thing wasn't really working too well and thinking of all the good things about me made a lot more sense to me."

"_Oh look at you,"_ Ray said sarcastically, "_Just thinking up all these things yourself and making all these_ _decisions without talking to me about it. Go you."_

"I know!" I said ignoring the sarcasm even though it hurt. Shouldn't Ray be happy for me? Instead of hating on all my ideas and opinions wouldn't a real friend encourage and support me? I shook my head. Ray was a real friend. Wasn't he?

"Well bye." I said

"_Talk to you laterrr!"_

I hung up and for once I didn't feel drained after talking to Ray. Something had definitely changed between us. Or maybe _I_ had just changed a lot. But it was a good change.

Wasn't it?

I thought it was, it seemed like it was. Everyone else thought it was a good change. Troy had just told me he liked the change an hour or so ago. But something was bugging me. And I realized what it was.

Ray really didn't like the change, he almost hated it. For some reason, it was like he didn't like the fact that I was more independent, that I didn't need to cling to him to survive. He didn't like the fact that I was making my own decisions, that I was forming my own opinions, that I was, in reality, my own person. But why wouldn't Ray like that?

_Maybe because now that I have become my own person Ray doesn't have as much control ov_er _me anymore_.

I didn't like that thought though, because it meant that that was what Ray wanted from me. It meant he didn't want my friendship or any of that, all he wanted was to have power over me. But why would Ray want that?

I shivered.

Why would Ray want to have power over me?

Suddenly I wasn't so sure about going to the Fall Dance with him, but it was too late now. I tried to shrug it off. Why was I getting so worried? Ray was my BEST friend, he would never do anything to me.

I still didn't feel sure, but at least I would have some time to think it over. Maybe I could talk to my friends about it. My NEW friends. I had never told them about Ray before but now I was ready to and maybe they could help me figure out what to think of Ray.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! This chapter was just dialogue between Ray and Gabriella mostly but I thought it was a very important step for Gabriella to actually confront Ray and Ray's reaction to Gabriella's change. Notice how different it is from Troy's reaction. Sorry for shortness…**

**And a Fall Dance! Where will this lead…?**

**Anywho, thank you all so much for reviewing it means a bunch and is basically what keeps me writing this story even when I get stuck. Special thanks to…. **hopelessromanticgurl , Bluebell140, pumpkinking5 , Im a Skyscraper, wildcats2016 , and EllaPayneStyles18.

**Thank you to all the favorites and story alerts too. And, just so you know, the chapters may be coming at different intervals depending on when my brother isn't working on the computer but I'll do my best! THANKS!**


	16. Chapter 16

I soon forgot about Ray and the Fall Dance as the next couple of weeks were so busy for me. Busy! Me! That was a first in five years!

I worked hard in my classes and soon pulled my grades back up to the usual all-A standard. After school I studied in the library while Troy was at practice. Usually Taylor would stay with me too and we would "work" together and then Troy would drive us both to our homes. He always dropped off Taylor first, even though it would be easier to drop ME off first. For some reason that thought made me happy and glow with pride. But I didn't try to think about why it made me happy.

A few times in the beginning I stayed to watch the basketball practice because Troy asked me to. It was okay but I wasn't particularly interested in basketball. I tried to act interested for Troy though because every now and then he would look up at me in the bleachers and flash a smile my way. Sometimes his gaze would just stray to me and I would look back and wink. Sometimes in these exchanges Troy would be distracted and miss an easy throw or a pass. His dad, the coach, would always yell at him and then WE would exchange glances and shake our heads at Troy's easily diverted mind. Troy's teammates would always make a big show of teasing him when I did distract him and for some reason that made me uncomfortable.

The cheerleaders practiced on one side of the gym sometimes; usually on rainy or very cold days. The basketball coach didn't like when they did because it always distracted the guys. I didn't really mind because then Troy wasn't the only one getting distracted so they didn't make fun of him as much.

I wouldn't have minded the cheerleaders at all, actually, except for the fact that Sharpay was head cheerleader and her obnoxiously shrilly voice echoed around the gym like you wouldn't believe. I could only take so much of it before I would have to leave and go to the library. And it wasn't only her voice; she was always shooting glares at me whenever she got a chance. I didn't care if she hated me or whatever but, let's face it, nobody likes getting glared at.

On the weekends I hung out with all my new friends, sometimes having picnics or talking at the park. Most Fridays someone would have a movie night at their house. We switched houses every Friday so everyone could have a turn having it at their house. Well, except for me. I never brought anyone home. Except for Taylor occasionally. Though I trusted my new friends, I had only told Taylor and Troy about my dad and the issues I was having with my mom. They were the closest friends and I only felt comfortable telling them.

Troy was always ready to listen if I had to talk about it and always found a way to comfort me, no matter how bad the fight or nightmare, and he could always tell if I was upset. This was good, because even though I was feeling better than I had in a while, I still had nightmares and would even have break downs occasionally when my father's death and mother's uncaringness were too much for me to handle.

Taylor had listened very attentively while I told her about my dad and mom and her boyfriend and didn't judge. At the end all she said was, "Gabs, you're a lot tougher than I thought you would be. Talk to me whenever you need to. Now let's go eat something sweet so we feel better!"

I had laughed at that. That was Taylor for you. I hadn't cried when I had told her the story but I must've looked pretty upset… or maybe Taylor was just hungry.

All in all those couple weeks were wonderful and I was beginning to call my new house home. Not because I had finally finished unpacking and decorating my room, but because I had found a family that I didn't expect to find.

I hardly called Ray anymore, except to say I was doing great and ask how he was doing. I didn't mention the Fall Dance and if he ever brought it up I would try to steer the conversation away from that.

In fact I didn't mention the Fall Dance to anyone. I just kind of pushed it out of my mind. I didn't like to think about it or any decisions about it. Every now and then I would consider talking about it with Troy or Taylor but then I would put it off because I wouldn't want to stop the fun we were having.

When Ray finally gave me the final date though and said his mom would call my mom about the arrangements I knew that I couldn't ignore Ray forever and that I really needed to face the decision of whether to go to the dance or not. I really didn't want to bring up Ray to any of my friends. He was a touchy topic with them as he _did_ kind of root against them and told me for the longest time that they weren't really nice but just out to get me.

Anyway, Ray and my new friends didn't really fit. In fact, I had come to realize that I was having a lot of trouble finding a place where Ray _did_ fit. It seemed like the only place he fit, the only place he _wanted_ to fit, was in a world and life where he was the ONLY thing in my life.

And the problem was, he wasn't.

But I didn't want Ray completely OUT of my life either. He was still considered my best friend.

When we were much younger, while my dad was still alive, we didn't talk much but he had been in my class. Sometimes we would play together but we weren't really friends, let alone best friends. After my dad died though he became a little friendlier and helped me through school and when we were in the 7th grade we grew a LOT closer. He became my best friend, and I now realize, he was my only friend then. He was always telling me that no one else would understand what had happened to my dad and that he was there and he was all I needed. And of course I believed him. He was my best friend. So he stayed my only friend. Up until freshman year we grew closer, but then in high school he hung out with a group of friends I was uncomfortable with. Still I stuck around him because apparently nobody else wanted me. Or that's what Ray kept telling me. I was glued to his side. And even though a lot of people would've gotten tired of that after a while, Ray seemed to like it. He liked having me there, following him around like a lost puppy. Like a moth to a flame. Like a Sharpay to a Troy. Except Troy didn't like Sharpay doing that and Ray… he did like it.

I guess sometimes that worried me, but I never thought about it. I really didn't think about much to be honest. I just moped around, clinging to Ray to survive, crying over my dad. My mom tried to help me move on, my counselor tried to help me to move on, but I didn't want to. Ray was the only one who understood. Or I thought he was the only one who understood. Maybe he didn't actually care, but just said whatever I wanted to hear. And sometimes what I wanted to hear wasn't what I needed to hear. But back then, just last year, I didn't care.

But now I did. And I had begun wondering if that had been what changed between me and Ray. I cared now and I… I wanted my life back.

I shook my head. I had always had my life, it's not like Ray had taken it. He just led it. I shook my head again. That didn't sound very nice either.

"Got a fly in your ear?" Troy asked. I had zoned out during our car ride to school.

"Oh! What? Sorry, I was just thinking…" I murmured. I didn't say what I was thinking about and Troy didn't ask. I still didn't have the guts to bring up Ray! But everything was going so great here and why ruin it now? But now with the date ready and my mom making plans I knew I had to tell someone and make my decision. ….Just not yet… Maybe just a little while longer of this bliss.

"Yeah well don't hurt yourself." Troy joked and I laughed. I had been doing that a lot more lately.

"Oh I'll try but it can be tough. I'm sure _you_ don't understand though because I'm pretty sure there isn't a lot of thinking going on up there…" I poked his head.

"Don't need to think. My awesome instincts are enough."

"Enough to get you a C? Anyway I completely understand your lack of thinking…you need a brain to do that and it looks like you're missing one…" I teased.

"One C and you can't let it go?" Troy said in mock anger.

"Nope!"

"I'm in almost all of your smarty classes!" He said indignantly.

"_Almost._"

"You're just upset because I'm smart _and_ beautiful." Troy said, pretending to flip an invisible lock of hair over his shoulder.

"Really? You are going to go _there_? If we are going to have a beauty contest then consider yourself the loser! I'm GORGEOUS!" And I flipped my thick (somewhat frizzy) hair to add emphasis.

"Trust me I know you are," Troy said with more sincerity than I expected. And then to cover his accidental tender moment he added, "But you would look tons better with a BAG over your head!"

"Oh what a charming young man you are." I said while rolling my eyes.

"You know it…"

I just rolled my eyes again. I was going to say something back too though, but then Troy started talking again.

"So today's Thursday." He started.

"No way!" I said in mock surprise.

"Not done yet…." Troy said.

"Well my bad." I smiled sweetly at him.

"It is. Anyway, so today is Thursday and there's a game tomorrow. The basketball team's first home game actually…" He looked expectantly at me and then when I just looked back continued, "And I really want you to come and watch it because I could really use your support. So will you come?"

"What time?" I asked un-sarcastically.

"It's at 6 and in the gym and that's all. And if you could try and wear the school colors…"

"Of course I'll wear the school colors! Now which team are we….?"

Troy just looked at me.

"I'm kidding I'm kidding. Don't get all worked up over it or anything wildcat!" I laughed. Then more seriously, "And I will try to make it okay?"

"You better be there! Or you really will have to buy me a new heart." He said as we pulled up to the school.

"Dollar Store!" I sang.

"I don't think sooo!" He sang back laughing. Then he helped me out and we walked into school together.

As we arrived at my locker Sharpay appeared right on schedule and whisked Troy away after glaring at me with utter disgust. I shrugged and grabbed my books and then waited for Taylor to show up so we could talk before class started.

"Hiya!" I heard the cheery voice behind me.

"Hey Taylor!" I said, turning around to face her, "How are you doing?"

Taylor pulled a face, "My little brother!"

I nodded sympathetically. I had heard many stories about Taylor's little brother. It made me grateful I didn't have one, but the stories were still pretty funny.

"What did he do this time?" I asked.

"He kept making these really obnoxious 'noises' the whole car ride here and when I told him to stop he would just laugh and kick my seat and do it again and my mom was all like 'he's a little boy, what do you expect? Just calm down Taylor.'" Taylor huffed angrily.

"Well maybe you can come over for a sleep over tomorrow night!" I said brightly.

"Please! I need a break from that ragamuffin!"

"Ragamuffin?"

"Yes, ragamuffin! Give me a break! I'm too angry to think of a good name for him!"

"Okayyyy…. Well anyway, also about tomorrow night, Troy asked me to come to the basketball game. It's at 6 and I was wondering if you would come with me 'cause I don't want to sit alone. I don't usually go to these sorts of things anyway-"

"Troy asked you! Oh how sweet! Of course I'll go with you and maybe I can go home with you and help you get ready! You will be gawgeous! And then we can go together and oooooh! This will be so much fun!" Taylor was ecstatic.

"It's just a basketball game…" I said slowly.

"No, it's not. It's a basketball game that _Troy_ wants you to see!"

"Because we are friends." I said simply.

Taylor huffed again, this time out of exasperation…because of me somehow!

"Well whatever, this is still a pretty big thing. And still pretty exciting." She said.

"Why?"

"Because hardly any of the 'star' basketball players ask girls to come watch and when they do, they never ask girls like us! But you're the exception!"

"Girls like us?"

"You know, girls that aren't super sexy. Girls who aren't sluts and think more about they're grades than about what they're going to wear. Girls who actually have a plan for the future and who aren't number one Miss Popular. Girls who rely on more than just their looks and have brains and are funny and don't need mini-skirts to get noticed. Girls like us." Taylor said casually.

"Oh. How do you know?"

"Just watch. When they win the game (The Wildcats almost always do), watch what kind of girls run up to hug and congratulate the team and the star players. Watch who the guys will be looking for. It won't be girls like us. Except tomorrow night one of them will! How crazy that the "untouchable Troy" will be looking for you!"

"It's not that crazy." I said a little defensively.

"Oh I know, not anymore. "Untouchable Troy" isn't really untouchable anymore. You poked him in just the right spot." Taylor said as she poked me on the shoulder.

"Ow! Yeah, I guess so. You're friends with him too, though." I pointed out.

"Yep, we are mixing it up here. Regulars and the populars. If I could just mix it up a little more." Taylor said in a tone I hadn't heard her use before.

"Taylor…?"

"I just wish…. There's this person… But I… It wouldn't work… doesn't even know I exist… I'll tell you later!" Taylor said in a rush then walked quickly away.

I watched her weave through the people and wished yet again that I was better at reading people. I was pretty confused but I had a vague idea that Taylor's strange behavior had something to do with a guy. A star basketball player guy to be exact.

I _could_ try to figure it out myself but I decided to wait until Taylor was ready to tell me. Anyway I had other stuff to do.

Like figure out Troy and what Taylor and all my friends kept hinting about me and him. And I also needed to find some clothes for tomorrow night. Not to mention the Fall Dance that was going to be next weekend. I still hadn't told anyone about Ray and I still really didn't want to bring it up. And I really needed to talk about it soon and decide what to do.

And on top of ALL of that, I had an Algebra 2 test first period and it wasn't really my best subject…

**Okay, so one of my longer chapters (for me! I'm pretty proud of myself actually). I worked on it whenever I had a chance and I wrote more than I was going to at first. I always end up straying from my original outline… But anyway, this chapter showed how well Gabriella is doing now that she's made the decision and doesn't need Ray anymore. It also showed a little peek into Gabriella's life before she moved and how Ray affected her at home too. Ray wanting power over her wasn't something new to Gabriella apparently, her behavior just was.**

**And a basketball game! Plus, does Taylor have a romantic interest too?**

**I'll try to write the next chapter as soon as I can! Thank you so much for the reviews and please, ANYONE reading these, feel free to leave your comments or ideas. I really do appreciate them.**

**Thank you for all the story alerts and favorites and special thanks to… **hopelessromanticgurl, pumpkinking5, Bluebell140,


	17. Chapter 17

The rest of the day was pretty normal. I think I actually did okay on my algebra 2 test, I soon forgot about Troy and how he made me uncomfortable but happy at the same time, and Taylor went back to acting normal again. The whole day, though, she kept bringing up the basketball game and kept acting like it was something huge.

I mean, it was a _just_ a basketball game.

After school I waited in the library with Taylor while she talked to me about what she should wear tomorrow to the game and what kind of makeup and hairdo she should have. At first I was kind of bored but as she kept talking about it I started getting a little excited.

I never went to social events. I had always been so shy and so quiet. I had never wanted to go anywhere. It may have been the fact that I had nobody to go anywhere with. All I had was Ray and he wasn't very social himself… except with me. Sometimes we would go to movies, but that would just be the two of us and it wasn't like the movie theater was a great place to meet and become friends with new people. Other than that, I didn't go anywhere.

One time at my old school I went to a game, I think it was a football game. Ray had invited me and I had gone. I had never been to a football game before and I let Ray talk me into it. I didn't like it. I didn't know anyone there except Ray and I felt so small and scared surrounded by all those loud, sweaty people. I couldn't even see the game but apparently nobody there came there for that anyway. Even if I could've seen I probably wouldn't have cared since our football team sucked and I honestly didn't care who won. I didn't know anybody on the football team, I didn't have any school spirit. Heck, I didn't have any spirit. My freshman year I was just an empty shell wandering around school hopelessly. The whole game I clung to Ray. Eventually he took me to a group of people who hung out under the bleachers and they were doing something but I couldn't see what they were doing because they were hidden in the shadows so well. I didn't want to find out either. They knew Ray though.

I remember wondering why Ray hung around people like that. But then a fight had started and I didn't have time to wonder. I was too busy weaving my way between the shirtless guys and flirty girls. I had left.

I knew that at the basketball game tomorrow though, that I wouldn't leave early. Because I wasn't afraid of the world and everyone in it anymore.

In my home town Ray had taught me to be afraid of everything. He taught me that everything was bad, that good didn't exist. It wasn't that hard for him to teach me that, though. At that point I would've believed any explanation anyone had as to why my dad had died. And now that I thought about it, it was almost like Ray had taken advantage of that. Again, I didn't like the way that sounded, but I couldn't come up with a nicer way of saying it.

"Thinking?" Taylor asked me. I must've been zoned out for a while.

"Just about the game tomorrow…" I said, not wanting to bring up Ray. Even though I knew I really needed to.

"I know! I can't wait! Honestly I don't go to these a lot either… but a little change every now and then can't hurt!" And Taylor continued talking about it all.

I listened until Troy came over to drive us home. While we were in Troy's truck Taylor started talking to him instead. I was surprised that Taylor knew the names of all the basketball players. I guess she was more interested in basketball than she let on. Or maybe that was just general knowledge that everyone was supposed to know and I just didn't. But I didn't really think that was it.

After Troy dropped Taylor off the ride was silent. Probably the first silent moment of my day. I loved Taylor, but boy could she talk.

Troy turned to me with a slight smile on his lips, "So I know Taylor is excited about the basketball game… how about you?"

"Yes! Of course!" I said. Troy looked skeptical so I added, "No, really I am! This is the first time I've been to a basketball game."

"Really?" Troy asked incredulously.

"Yeah… It's not THAT crazy! I didn't have much of a social life back home." _Or any life at all_. I thought to myself.

"Well I guess if you were acting the way you had a while ago I can understand that. Don't act like that again… please. That was scary."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, that whole month where you hardly were living at all. If you were acting like that then I can understand you not having much of a social life back home."

"No I got that. I meant what do you mean about the whole 'that was scary'?"

"Oh. Well it just, you know, made me worry. I mean it was like you had given up, on everything. And I was always afraid that one day I would come over and you would just be done with everything. You would just quit, totally. That's why I had to speak up even though it made you cry. Because I didn't want you to do that. I didn't want to lose you totally."

Again, it was an unexpected tender moment. This time Troy didn't try to cover it. He just cleared his throat awkwardly and stayed silent the rest of the car ride. I got out of the car and went inside.

After eating (I just threw something together. My mom was nowhere to be found. Probably out with her boyfriend. She didn't leave a note but I wasn't bothered by that. She could be on the moon for all that I cared.) I went and did my homework. Then I decided to go to bed.

But all I could do was lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. I had so much to think about. Ray, the Fall Dance, the basketball game, Taylor and this mysterious guy she liked. Not to mention Troy. Troy! I hated how I always got this glow whenever I thought about him. It made me blush at myself. What was wrong with me? Why did it make me happy that Troy was scared of losing me? I mean, sure I liked to be cared about, but why was the fact that _Troy_ cared about me make me so much happier than if anyone else cared about me?

Even after I pushed the thought of Troy out of my head I couldn't sleep. I really was excited about the basketball game, about hanging out with Taylor, about picking out our outfits, about doing each other's hair. I was just excited. I finally fell asleep, but I woke up early and couldn't force myself back to sleep. So I got up, took a shower, and got dressed. Then I ate breakfast and just did nothing in general until Troy picked me up

Troy and I chatted about class and random stuff all the way until we got to school.

The school day went by fast. Like really, really fast. Maybe because even though I was excited about the basketball game, I also kind of dreaded it. This _was_ my first basketball game, and I was still just becoming more daring and less shy.

Troy drove me and Taylor to Taylor's house first so we could grab all the stuff that Taylor wanted to bring for us to get ready with and then dropped both of us off at my house.

As we were getting out Troy turned and held my gaze, "So you're coming to the game tonight, right? At 6, okay?"

Taylor turned around, her arms full, and yelled back, "But everyone else told me it started at 6:30!"

""I know, but I'd like it if you came early to wish me luck…" Troy said, looking at me hopefully.

"I'll try to get there early." I promised.

"Okay, see you then!" Troy said, looking a little more relieved.

As we walked across my lawn I noticed my mom's car was gone as usual. That meant I would have to dig out my key and open the door while trying not to drop everything in my arms. The one time Troy does _not_ ask to walk me to the door! I managed to unlock the door and open it without dropping anything fragile or important so it was all good.

As soon as we got inside and dumped our book bags on the floor we got to work. Or, really, Taylor did. I could see her as a hairdresser or owning a salon in the future. She was amazing. She painted my nails a shimmering, sparkly gold color and made my makeup coordinate with them. I wore jeans with a white belt and a pretty red blouse and white, red, and gold bracelets along with gold earrings that I had. Taylor said that she would have preferred bigger hoops than I had but too bad. And the only makeup I would let her put on was eye makeup.

Taylor looked amazing in a lacy white dress with gold thread glittering in the light whenever she moved. She had gold dangling earrings that looked almost like liquid gold when they moved and swung. Her makeup was done perfect. She didn't trust me to do it so she did it herself. Which was totally fine. I didn't want to be held accountable for ruining her face. All in all she looked absolutely beautiful.

"Wow." I said staring wide-eyed at her. I mean, this was the girl who didn't care about looks and who only wore jeans and a T-shirt or occasionally a blouse. Taylor hardly ever even wore skirts.

"Do you like it?" Taylor asked shyly. Taylor! Shy! Something was going on. The world had gone mad!

"No. I LOVE it! Taylor, you look-you look…" I gestured at her in amazement, "You look gorgeous!"

"Really? Thanks… You look great too!"

"Thanks to you!" I said.

"Well…. Ya know.." Taylor replied in her usual Taylor way.

We kept complimenting each other until Taylor checked her watch, "Oh crap, we have to leave now if Troy wants you there before the game, it's already 6:12!"

"Then let's go!" I said and we hurried out with our money and phones.

When we got there it was 6:25 and I rushed into the gym. I scanned the gym and saw the Wildcats by the benches in a huddle while the coach gave them a pep talk or something. I spotted Troy right away among all of them; with his shaggy blonde hair, flashing blue eyes, and tan skin he was hard to miss. Anyway, he was the only basketball player who wasn't paying attention and kept looking around.

_Looking for me, _I thought to myself feeling proud. I decided to run up behind him and scare him so I circled around the gym carefully and then from a little ways behind him made a mad dash and tackled him with a hug. He lost his balance for a moment but didn't fall down. He turned around in surprise and confusion, but when he saw it was me his face broke into a happy smile.

"Gabriella! I thought you weren't going to come!"

"I had to wish you good luck!" I said.

"Yeah, well I thought you were going to be a no-show. Cutting it kind of close aren't you?" Troy said ruffling my hair affectionately. People do that to you when you're short like I am.

"Me and Taylor, we kind of lost track of time while we were complimenting each other…" I said pointing to Taylor who was following a little slower behind me looking elegant _and_ sexy. She kept glancing away from all the basketball players and even looked a little nervous.

"Well thanks for coming even if you are late... Now I think you should go and find some seats because I um…" He pointed behind him to the huddle of guys staring at me hugging Troy. I felt awkward all of the sudden.

I let go of Troy and grabbed Taylor to go find a seat yelling behind me, "Good luck!" Taylor lingered for a moment looking back and I looked back too, trying to see who she was looking at but I couldn't tell who it was that had gotten Taylor's attention.

The game was fun. It was different than any game I had ever gone to before because this time, I actually enjoyed myself. I didn't realize watching a high school basketball game could be fun. Maybe it was because I actually knew some of the people there and had friends here. Maybe because I felt pretty and wasn't looking for the bad part of everything. Or maybe it was the game itself. Maybe it was the fact that I actually had a team to root for and a team to root against. Maybe because I had a face to search for, a name to cheer. Maybe it was fun because I wanted it to be fun, because I gave it a chance to be fun. Either way, the game was great.

It was a close game (Which Taylor said was unusual as the Wildcats almost always pulled ahead from the beginning.) but a great one. And when the final point was scored and the buzzer went off and it was the Wildcats that had won I felt myself jump up and run down to hug the sweaty but triumphant Troy.

"You won!" I screamed in his face over the noise of everyone else cheering. This whole school had great team spirit.

And before I had a chance to say anything else, Troy lifted me off the ground and swung me around in a hug, then set me down just smiling. And then everyone was patting Troy on the back and then the other basketball players started getting pummeled by their girls too. And, like Taylor predicted, I was the only girl with the basketball players that wasn't wearing some sort of skin tight, super short outfit. But who cares! Troy's team won and he wasn't looking for girls like that. He had looked for me!

He stopped hugging me and we talked over the whole game, and he complimented the way I looked and I complimented his great passes and defense.

After a while, as I looked up at him and he looked down at me, I noticed a bunch of jealous girls looking at me with utter loathing.

"Troy." I said, "I swear, you are going to make me the most hated girl in school."

"What do you mean?" He laughed.

"As if you don't see all the jealous stares in our direction."

"They are just jealous of you."

"No, I'm pretty sure they are jealous of you. I'm pretty sure those girls would rather talk to you than me." I said with a slight laugh.

"Well who cares!"

"I don't…. but I also don't want to be murdered. Can we go outside or something?" I asked Troy.

"Sure." He said and he gave me another one of those strange looks.

Standing outside and that close to Troy I had a sudden and unexpected urge to stand on my tippy toes and kiss Troy, on the lips. Involuntarily I put my hand over my lips. Why was I thinking stuff like that? What was wrong with me? Kiss Troy? We were just friends. I needed to calm down. The excitement was really getting to me…

"So what do you want to talk about?"

I paused, now that we were out here alone and there was no one else around. Now that I had all the time in the world. Now that there was almost nothing else to talk about… I sighed. I didn't exactly _want _to talk about it, but I knew I _needed_ to. It was time to talk about Ray.

"I've been putting this off for a while…" I said slowly.

"Yeah?" Troy said, excitement reflecting in his eyes. I didn't know why.

"Well, I have to talk to you about Ray." Troy looked put off a little and confused so I continued, "Do you remember me mentioning Ray? I only mentioned him once and I didn't even say anything about him."

"I think so…" Troy said, "What about him? Is he bothering you? Do I need to do something about him?"

"No, no!" I laughed, pushing his fist down, "It's just, he … he asked me to a Dance, next weekend actually. And I-I don't know if I should go."

"Is he your boyfriend or something?" Troy asked.

"No, he's just a friend." Troy looked relieved at that, "And he just wants me to go with him to the dance as a friend but I… I don't know. It's like, I'm not sure if I should go."

"Why don't you want to go?"

"I don't even know why, it's just I feel like I've changed and Ray doesn't like that. I mean it's just one dance so I shouldn't get upset but, I'm nervous… for some stupid reason, I'm sure."

"Whatever the reason is, I'm sure it's not stupid. Do you think he's going to hurt you?"

"No, Ray would never hurt me." I said, "I just feel uncomfortable now. Because-because…" and all of the sudden I went over all of my history with Ray up to me changing and confronting Ray.

Troy listened quietly until I was done and then said softly, "I think that if you don't feel comfortable going to the dance with him then you shouldn't. Your first instincts are usually right, plus I don't trust Ray - if he really is the way you describe him. It's almost like he's been taking advantage of you and your pain for all these years and that's just not right."

"I know, but he's my best friend or was… or is and I don't know."

"People change." Troy said, "And even if you don't think this Ray will hurt you, I don't want him to and don't trust him. Maybe it's just because I don't know him as well. And I don't like to judge people without knowing them, but Gabriella, since you know him and still don't feel comfortable going then I'm going to say it's not a good idea to go. So, will you not go… for me?"

I sighed, "Okay, for you." I said. I realized that that was what I had been hoping he would say. I knew that deep inside I had never wanted to go. Troy didn't need to tell me not to go, I already didn't want to, but now I had a reason for not going.A legitimate excuse, you could say.

"Thanks Troy." I said.

"Hey, like I said, I'm here for you. Now do you need a ride home?"

"No, Taylor can drive now and will drive us back-" I began, "Oh crap Taylor! I forgot about her, I was so excited I just ran up to you and then we were talking about Ray and I forgot! Oh poop, I have to go and find her and hopefully she won't be mad at me…" and I ran away back into the gym.

When I ran in I expected to find Taylor sitting on the bleachers glaring at me, or waiting by the door tapping her foot or talking to some of her friends. What I did not expect was to find her slumped in a corner crying. Not at all.

"Taylor!" I yelled all panicky, Taylor NEVER cried, "Taylor, what's wrong?"

**Okay, there's the basketball game chapter! Sorry for the cliffhanger! But ya know…sometimes they just happen.**

**Thank you soooo much for reading and reviewing! This chapter showed a different side of Taylor: wearing a dress, acting shy, etc. And Gabriella finally brought up Ray to Troy, so I guess no more Fall Dance. Whew. That was a close one. And also it shows that Gabriella might be having feelings for Troy too, but she isn't ready to fully accept that yet.**

**Thank you for all the story alerts, author alerts, and favorites and special thanks to my reviewers: **hopelessromanticgurl , yogaluva , pumpkinking5, Bluebell140,**and** Im a Skyscraper**! They mean a lot and please PLEASE, anyone review. Those are what really let me know how I am doing and they mean soooo much! Thanks again and keep reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

"Taylor what's wrong?!" I said again as I reached Taylor's sad, little corner behind the bleachers in the gym.

Taylor just looked up at me and shook her head, shoving tears off her face.

"Let's leave." Taylor said in a watery, wavering voice.

I helped her up without a word and we walked out of the gym. Taylor walked next to the wall and I walked on the other side so I could help block Taylor from other people's view. Neither of us spoke. I heard suppressed sobs every now and then though.

"It's going to be okay." I murmured to Taylor as we finally got out of the gym and outside, "We can talk about it when we get back to my house or something."

Taylor just nodded.

"What's the matter Ella? Why did you run off like-" Troy stopped approaching us as he caught a glimpse of Taylor's face. "Oh. Ummmm…."

"I'll- I'll see you on Monday, okay Troy? Thanks for the talk though. Congratulations." Here, Taylor caught on another sob, "Bye!" I said and then rushed Taylor to her car.

She wasn't in any state to drive though. So we both just sat in the backseat so Taylor could catch her breath. I would've offered to drive both of us back to my house, but I had never driven in my life before and I wasn't ready to die yet… oh, and it would've been illegal too. So we sat there.

"I'm sorry." Taylor choked out through her hiccups. The crying had stopped.

"Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Apparently I did." Taylor said, with a hint of anger. At me? No. That anger was directed at someone else. Whoever made her cry.

"What happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want, but I hate seeing you like- like this.." I said, unsure what to do or say. I was never good at knowing how to act in strained or stressful situations. I just tried to act the way Troy would have. _He_ would've known what to say and how to act. He always did.

"It's…It's nothing." Taylor said, wiping the rest of the tears off her face with one of the folds of her lovely dress.

"Taylor." I said sternly, giving her an I-know-you-better-than-that look.

"It's stupid. Trust me. Gawd, I don't even know why I got so upset over it. It's… it's nothing."

I just looked at her.

"Fine." Taylor said, in her more normal voice. "But don't say I didn't warn you. It really is stupid."

"If it made _you_ cry, then it's not stupid and someone deserves to die."

Taylor laughed a little but it didn't last long.

There was a long pause, but then Taylor spoke, "I have – no **had** – a crush on this guy, he's a basketball player. That's who I was talking about on… Thursday? Right? It was Thursday when I mentioned something?"

I nodded.

She continued, half talking to herself, half to me, "And I always knew it was stupid to have a crush on him because he's so out of my league… But then with you and Troy I just started having hope." I willed myself not to interrupt her and ask what she meant by me and Troy and Taylor continued, "And I've always been too shy to talk to him. I know. Me. Shy! It sounds crazy but it's true. He's so athletic and cute and he always seemed nice. Well until tonight-"

"What did he do to you?!" I interrupted.

"I'm getting to that part!" Taylor said with a bit of the usual snap in her voice, "Well I was tired of just watching him from a distance and never making a move. And I thought maybe I had a chance and it was all so stupid, but I had it stuck in my head that he was nice and that maybe, just maybe he would like me back. I was so nervous, always afraid he would notice me but just as afraid he wouldn't. And so I dressed up like a little girl in this stupid dress!" Taylor pulled at her dress angrily.

"Taylor, it's a beautiful dress. You looked amazing. No lie."

"It doesn't matter. Well they won the game and you went off to hug Troy and I went looking for _him_ but he was already surrounded by other basketball players and girls and I should've known, I should've known it was stupid to like him when he was so obviously just a player but I couldn't help it. It's so hard to unlike someone after you like them! And then you went outside and the gym was mostly empty except for a few stragglers and the basketball players and some other girls and he was mostly alone except for this girl that was flirting with the guy behind him so I went up. I had decided I was going to make my move and – why am I so stupid – I went up to him in my stupid dress and was going to congratulate him. I had only just said hi and just started saying congratulations when that- that slut, that disgusting bag of crap who was flirting with the guy behind Xavier-"

"Xavier?"

"That's his name. Xavier." Taylor practically spit the name, "But that witch, that revolting, slutty, monkey butt turned around and interrupted me and she said- she- she said, 'What b****?! Come over to rub your body all over my guy? I see the way you are looking at him.' And then she rubbed her body all over him and her voice, you should've heard her voice. She talked like she was so much better than me and she didn't stop there, 'He doesn't want you. He doesn't want your congratulations. He has all he needs right here.' That's what she said and she pulled his arms around her waist and kept talking, 'Now go and spread your legs for someone else. You're not getting anything here. Then again, as desperate as you are, you probably won't get anything from anyone.' And this is the worst part, I turned and left and then she said, 'What, you thought no one knew about you're little crush?! Everyone knows! It's so obvious! It's just a big joke though, none of us thought you'd actually approach him!' She practically shrieked that so everyone heard and-and I hate her! I hate her!"

"She said what?! In front of…?"

"Yes. And you know what he did? He just-he just- just stood there and LAUGHED. He laughed, he thought it was funny. He never was nice, he was in on the joke! The whole, stupid joke! What kind of sick humor is that?! And I had started crying so I turned to walk away again but one of those other sluts tripped me on my first step so I, I fell. And nobody helped me up and they all laughed and so I hid because I knew I couldn't make it all the way to the door by myself but, Gabriella, why are people so mean?" Taylor had started crying again, slow quiet tears.

"Because those people are all idiots. Because when we are out of high school they will be the people who are being sent to jail, and you will be the lawyer sending them there." I said.

"I hate it… 'cause I still kind of like him and I know I shouldn't, but that's why it hurts so much because I liked him so much and- and- OMIGOD there he is! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him…"

I looked and saw a tall guy leaving the gym with two girls clutching his arms. Another guy came up behind him though and shoved the girls off a couple seconds later. He grabbed Xavier's shoulder and jerked him around. The other guy was a little shorter than Xavier but looked more muscular. He had Xavier by the collar and I could catch the echo of his shouts. He seemed pissed at Xavier. His afro shook in his anger, or maybe from the shouting. After that he stalked off and Xavier just stood there. Surprised? Stunned? Or maybe Xavier was just really slow. Then Xavier finally turned around and pulled the two girls next to him again and walked to his car.

"He's gone Taylor." I whispered to Taylor. Taylor had been crouching down in the seat the whole time.

"Okay. Thanks. Sorry. Gawd, I'm such a girl!" Taylor said in her usual Taylor way.

"And that's bad!?"

"It is when it involves boys."

"True that." I said, even though lately this year I hadn't really had boy trouble, I had been focused on too many other things to even think about guys… and I had never had a boyfriend. So I guess you could say I was inexperienced on the whole boy thing. But from what I'd just seen, I didn't really think I wanted to be experienced in that subject.

"Well, I'll drive us back to your house. We've been sitting here long enough. Your mom might get worried." Taylor said, her voice only trembling a little bit at the beginning.

"My mom doesn't care." I shrugged. It was true. She never once asked where I went after school or what I did. Never asked where I went on Friday nights or anything. And I had gotten used to it.

"Well, let's get back anyway. Sorry again." Taylor said quietly as she moved to the front seat.

"DON'T BE." I said, "That douche-bag is the one who should be sorry."

"Oooh, Gabs is naughty, using naughty words."

I blushed. I usually was so good about not saying anything yucky or bad but well… "He is one, and sometimes it's the only word that will do."

"True THAT!" Taylor said starting the engine.

When we got to my house it was really late (We had stopped for ice cream on the way back). Taylor parked her car and I noticed that my mom's car was back in the driveway. Hopefully she left the door unlocked. And I really hoped she hadn't brought her boyfriend back with her or anything. I had gotten a little more used to him but I still didn't like having him around. I think he understood that so he mostly stayed away from me. My mom probably told him I had rabies or something.

The door was unlocked and Taylor and I walked in laughing over something stupid. The talk and ice cream had really helped. Not to mention insulting Xavier all the way back to my house. I knew Taylor still hurt but hopefully she would be feeling completely better soon. I switched on the light and we were heading upstairs when I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I turned around mid-step.

It was my mom. And she was alone. And glaring at me? Yeah, she was glaring at me. But why?

"Young lady." She started. Since when had she used "young lady" on me?

"What's wrong?" I asked, completely confused. Taylor stood next to me, looking between my mom and me, clearly expecting a fight. I was too, but this time I had no idea what she was mad about.

"Come here." Was all she said.

I looked back at Taylor uneasily. Taylor didn't give an answer to any of my unspoken questions. She was just has bewildered at me. Taylor had been over enough to understand that my mom and I didn't really interact much, if ever. We stayed out of each other's life. It worked perfectly that way. Less fights, less anger. It was much simpler the way we did it. Sure, it didn't solve any of the issues we had, but it also didn't make any of the issues bigger. Anyway, this was unusual and Taylor understood that.

I couldn't stand there in confusion forever though so I walked slowly towards my mother.

"Yes?" I asked calmly.

"Do you think you can just leave and not come back home until after midnight and not get in trouble? You are out way past curfew! One in the morning, that's what time it is!"

Curfew? I didn't even know I had a curfew… And yeah, it was late. But this was just one time and the only thing I did was go to a basketball game, talk with Troy for a while, then comfort Taylor for another while, then eat ice cream and sit in the parking lot for an even longer while and then we went home. I didn't do anything. Anyway, since when had she cared!? Just last week I could've been gone all night and she wouldn't have cared. But of course I couldn't explain that to her, she was too angry to understand.

"Well!" My mom said angrily.

I turned away from her and said to Taylor slowly, "Just go upstairs, I'll follow you in a little bit." This was going to get ugly, and even though Taylor was my best friend, I didn't want her to see this. Taylor practically skipped up the stairs. I guess she didn't want to see this either…

Then I turned back to my mom, "I was just at a basketball game." I said quietly.

"That lasted until one in the morning?! Ha. Ha. Sure!" She said, mocking me.

"Well then some stuff came up and I ended up talking with some people and lost track of time." I said gritting my teeth.

My mom just ignored me and kept talking, "No note, no call. Nothing. You could've been kidnapped or murdered! You think you can just leave without a word, you think you can just bring people here and act like I don't exist, like my approval is nothing. You're not 18 yet! You think you can just get away with this stuff!?"

"You taught me well." I breathed, "You set a _wonderful_ example." I said louder glaring back at her.

She seemed horror struck, "How dare you accuse me of-! Don't you take that tone of voice with me! You can't just leave. And I heard about the Fall Dance Ray invited you to, his mom called while you were gone"

"Well, don't worry about that then. I'm not going." I said simply. Was _that_ what she was mad about? Really?!

"Oh yes you are. These new friends of yours, this Troy guy. Yeah he called too. At like 10! What is a boy doing call you at 10 at night? Hmmm?"

"Definitely nothing at all like what _you_ are doing with a guy at 10." I said, mocking HER, and then, realizing the first thing she had said, "Wait what?! I said I'm not going!"

"Yeah, and I said you are. Guess who wins. You're going next weekend."

"But why?! I'm not going. I don't want to go."

"I don't care if you don't want to. You are. Because this apparently is not good for you. I thought a new start would help us out but these new friends of yours are apparently not a good influence on you.."

"WHAT!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'THEY AREN'T A GOOD INFLUENCE ON ME'?!" I yelled. My mom was crazy. Completely crazy.

"You are staying out late, leaving without a word, boys are calling you late at night. You disrespect me-"

"And you never thought that maybe I stopped respecting you when you stopped deserving it-?"

"See, there! THERE! This is what this has done to you. At first you seemed to be doing better and then all of the sudden you got these friends and started-started – "

"Started what? " I said, "Started actually having a life. Started getting BETTER! So doing okay, in your world, is starving myself and not having any friends and not actually living? Is that it then. Cuz if it is then I'm overjoyed to NOT be okay!"

"Well what you are now is not okay."

"Oh, oh excuse me. I'm sorry for being HAPPY!"

"You can't just leave without my permission!"

"Um I could up until tonight! When did you start caring!?"

"When you started acting like this!"

"Oh, we are back to the WHEN-I-STARTED-LIVING THING! Okay then! Yeah, though, thanks for being there for me when I _actually needed_ you!"

"GABRIELLA I'M ENGAGED! So you need to fix your attitude, this…YOU are embarrassing!"

"You're … You're what?!" I said, stepping back in shock.

"Engaged." She said slowly and I noticed for the first time the shining ring on her finger.

I couldn't let her see how shocked I was, or how upset, so I took a deep breath and said, "Congrats then. I hope you're happy." My self-control didn't last long though, because before I could stop myself I sucked in my breath and then burst out, "BUT IF YOU THINK I'M EMBARRASSSING TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR! HOW HAVE _YOU_ BEEN ACTING?! HMMM? JUST BECAUSE _YOU _AREN'T A GOOD MOTHER DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON, DOESN'T MEAN I'M THE BAD ONE! IT JUST MEANS THAT _YOU_ HAVEN'T BEEN DOING YOU'RE JOB!" Then I turned around and stalked upstairs.

"What happened?" Taylor asked when I got upstairs.

"Nothing." I mumbled, "My mom and I just had a fight, because all of the sudden out of nowhere she started caring about where I go. Curfew?! I've never had a curfew!" I said, trying to laugh it off. Trying to act as if that's all that I was mad about.

Apparently I'm a pretty good actor though because Taylor let it go and we fell asleep shortly after.

The weekend passed by quickly. I mostly lay in my bed or took walks to the park. I was trying to take my mom's engagement in. It was really quick. I just couldn't get over how quick they got engaged. It was unbelievable. I tried to wrap my head around it and accept it but it was so hard. I knew I should tell someone, and I kept thinking of Troy but I didn't want to tell anyone about it, because I kept hoping the marriage would be canceled, the engagement ended. I was not going to let myself go back into my walking dead state (as I had come to call it) again though, that was for sure.

By Monday, I had calmed down enough and gotten over the shock to be able to smile when Troy picked me up and greet Taylor with a joke at our lockers. Taylor seemed preoccupied though. I had a feeling she was still upset over Xavier. This would be a long week. A long, long week.

"How was the rest of your weekend?" I asked Taylor in an attempt at cheeriness. One look and I knew it had been as bad as mine.

"I don't wanna be here." Was all Taylor said.

I sighed, _me either, me either…_

"Well you can just ignore him, he's not worth it." I said.

"Yeah, well, if it was _just_ him… but it's all of them. He wasn't the only one in on the joke. And what if they don't stop at that. I might just eat lunch in the bathroom. I'm the next target." Taylor said in a hollow voice.

"Come on, Taylor. They don't actually pick a target, it's just a random thing."

"No it's not." Taylor said, turning to me, "You haven't been here, but I have. I'm the next target. It was Bridgett Mill for a while but I guess she got boring. And now I'm the next one. Who knows how long I'll be they're favorite victim."

"But Taylor, they bullied other people than just Bridgett." I said reasonably, "They pick out random people to insult every day. Who's to say that you aren't just one of them?"

"Because, it just isn't. I'm the next target."

"But you don't know for sure-"

"Yeah, I do." Taylor said sharply.

"But what have you done that they would pick _you_ of all people!?"

"I approached him. I thought I was good enough – "

"You're better – " I murmured.

"And I know. I know because they left a note." Taylor said bitterly.

"What did it say – "I started to ask.

"Terrible things. Look the bells about to ring, let's go." Taylor said, slamming the locker shut.

We headed off to class. I couldn't focus during any of my morning classes, I was so preoccupied. By lunch I was ready to just go home and never come back.

Lunch was the worst by far, though.

It started off bad and got worse as Taylor and I walked in. As much as I hated to admit it, Taylor was, in fact, the next target. When school was over, I promised I would never go back. But after the tense afternoon and evening with my mom, I'd rather face school. Taylor came back too.

Halfway through the week I thought I was going to just die, and Taylor had to feel a thousand times worse. Troy would've helped but he had lunch detention all week. I told him he should've just written the essay! And arguing with the teacher didn't help his matters… So Taylor and I braved the lunch room on our own that day as usual. We sat down at the table with our friends and put our heads down, but soon enough it started. The rude comments, the accidental spills, the vicious insults. I got some insults and such too since I was a good friend of Taylor. It was the worst yet and I was whispering an escape plan to Taylor when I noticed a lack of insults. I looked up and so did Taylor.

The guy with the afro who had yelled at Xavier Friday night was standing by us and asking Taylor something. I couldn't believe my ears, but he was asking to sit down.

Taylor gawked and then finally answered, "Uh, yeah, yeah sure."

He sat down and smiled a dazzling, white smile at Taylor, "They won't mess with you anymore. I'm really sorry they are so mean, but I want you to know that not all great basketball players are jerks. And I'm Chad, by the way."

"Um, okay. Hi, Chad. Uh… Are you sure they won't bother us anymore?" Taylor asked, risking a glance towards them.

"Trust me they won't." Chad said, glaring at Xavier straight on.

And he was right. The rest of the week was much better. Chad sat with us every lunch and was always nearby just in case. I still had the engagement on my mind and the Fall Dance, but it was still better. Taylor was much happier and I almost always found her talking to Chad.

I was glad for Taylor, I really was. But I couldn't help but be jealous of how care free she could be now. I just couldn't get the engagement out of my head, and I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be suddenly canceled. Not to mention the Fall Dance. Whenever I did speak to my mother, it was just to tell her not to make me go. But it never made a difference.

As Friday quickly approached I knew I needed a good, long talk with Troy before I left. I needed advice, understanding, or whatever it was Troy always gave me when we had a talk.

**I am so sorry this took so long. I had major writer's block. I basically introduced Chad to Taylor, announced Ms. Montez's engagement and yes, there will be a Fall Dance. Because I've decided that Gabriella needs to settle this whole Ray-thing once and for all. Not much Troy and Gabriella here, but I've just been having so much trouble with this chapter! So sorry!**

**Thank you so much for those sticking with me and thanks for all the favorites and author alerts, and special thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter: **hopelessromanticgurl, yogaluva , pumpkinking5, Bluebell140 , **and**, dolphindreams16 ! **It means sooo much!**


	19. Chapter 19

Friday morning dawned bright and clear... Tomorrow I would be on my way to my hometown, to Ray and the Fall Dance. All against my wishes. Unless somehow I could convince my super stubborn mom to let me NOT go. But that's a when-pigs-fly moment. And even though I was about ready to strap a jet to a pig, shove it off my roof and make it fly, I knew there was no chance.

I also knew, though, that I couldn't just let it happen. I'd put up a fight. Because for some reason, I had a bad feeling about the Fall Dance, and about going home. I was afraid it would lead to a relapse. And I had just gotten back on my own feet.

I laid in bed for a while, staring at my ceiling and thinking of an argument against my mom, trying to figure out how I could win it. When I couldn't think of anything that she wouldn't disagree with I finally forced myself out of bed and got dressed. Guess I wouldn't put up fight, I couldn't think of any that I hadn't already used.

I ate breakfast quickly and then sat waiting for Troy. My mom had already left for work. When Troy came he grabbed my back pack as usual, put it in his truck and helped me in. He started the truck and I looked down at my hands.

Troy was my last hope. He always seemed to be able to find a solution to my problem, an answer to my question. Not to mention, he was the only one I felt like telling about the engagement. I had decided on Wednesday that I would tell Troy about it, because I needed to tell somebody. But even so, I still didn't want to mention it. I wanted to push it out of my head for the moment, because that was easier. I wanted to forget about the stupid Fall Dance, the shocking engagement, the argument with my mom. But I knew I couldn't, I mean, look how that turned out last time. And I was resolved not to let _that_ happen again.

So I cleared my throat. Troy glanced at me. How many times had I seen those eyes looking at me with concern. I hoped this would be the last time for a while.

"Troy…?" I started slowly, "I-I need to talk to you about something. Could we - can I talk to you after school? Are you busy?"

"Not anymore!" Troy said brightly. I let out a low sigh of relief. What's done is done.

"Okay, thanks. Sorry."

"No problem, I'm actually glad you want to talk." He gave me a searching look, "I was worried I would have to force you to talk again, and whatever you may think, I really don't like making girls cry." He added with a smirk.

"Do I look that depressed?" I asked. Goodness, I didn't think I was _that_ bad of an actor. I thought I was doing pretty well at acting actually.

"Well not THAT bad, but you seemed a little…erm…subdued I guess. Like something is bothering you. And I was right!"

"Somebody give this man a prize." I said sarcastically. Troy laughed.

As we pulled into school and Troy helped me out though, he looked serious.

"But we are having a talk after school. Okay? I'm not going to let you off the hook. Even if it _does_ make you cry."

"Don't worry, I will be here and ready to talk. But, until then, is that a threat? Are you going to TORTURE me? That isn't very nice…. Tsc tsc tsc… there are easier ways of getting people to talk." I joked. Now that I had our talk to look forward too I was feeling better. Troy seemed to notice and laughed again, the concern mostly gone from his eyes.

The school day went by quickly. Troy still had lunch detention, Chad still sat with Taylor, and I was still a little subdued, my mind focused on the Fall Dance and the engagement. I just couldn't get them out of my head. But hopefully the talk with Troy would help. I was counting on that.

When school ended I said bye to Taylor who was going to go talk to Chad and headed to Troy's truck. He was already there leaning on his truck absentmindedly, waiting for me. As I walked up I noticed how strong and lean he looked and how tan he was. I never realized how handsome Troy really was. The casual messiness of his hair that just begged to be messed up more, the bright blue, piercing eyes that you wanted to both gaze into and turn away from in embarrassment, the strong arms that were open, waiting for me to just walk into, be held, my head pressed against his chest, my hand right where his heart beat steadily, his voice whispering in my ear – I stopped in my tracks, surprised and embarrassed at myself. I blushed and strode over to Troy forcing myself to think of anything but what I had just been thinking about, to look anywhere but at him.

When I reached him he stopped leaning on his truck and straightened, smiling at me.

"Good, you didn't chicken out!" Troy said still smiling.

"Are you calling me a coward!?" I said in mock-anger.

"Never m'lady, never!" Troy said with an overly low, sweeping bow, "Shall we go then?"

"Go where?" I asked, letting him help me into his truck.

"Well somewhere to talk… somewhere a little more private."

"Like where?" I asked, hoping for something that I was ashamed to be hoping for.

"Well I was thinking the park, we could go on that one path again… where we saw the deer. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah, okay." I said, trying to hide my embarrassing disappointment. What, did I think he was going to take me to dinner or something?! Well, okay, maybe I had _hoped_ he would….

"And then we'll talk." I added to myself, forcing my mind to stop thinking about Troy. What was wrong with me?! I needed to control myself. Is this how friends were supposed to think about each other? I had a feeling the answer was no, but it didn't make a difference. I mean, I guess it really doesn't mean anything, admiring Troy's good looks. It's common fact he's handsome, I was just appreciating it, that's all….nothing weird about that, nothing at –

"We're here." Troy broke through my thoughts.

"Okay." I unbuckled. It was a lot easier to forget about Troy and how handsome he was as we walked down that path and I prepared to tell Troy. All my energy was focused on forcing myself to tell Troy about the Fall Dance and the engagement.

"So….." Troy said, taking a half glance at me curiously.

"My mom's making me go to the Fall Dance." I said bluntly.

"What? But, did you tell her you don't want to – "

"Yep." I said hollowly, "And she doesn't care. She says the way I'm acting now is-is 'embarrassing'." I said bitterly, "She says my new friends are bad influences. That _you_ are a bad influence. She says I need to go to the Fall Dance for my own good, or something." I looked pointedly at Troy, waiting for his reaction.

"But why, why now?"

"I asked the same thing! She starts worrying about me when I'm actually doing okay. She hasn't cared what I do and where I go since school started. She never gave a crap who I hung out with or what I did, she never worried about me or anything! I could be gone all week and she wouldn't have cared and one night I come back a little late and she's pissed! You would think she would be worried when I was not eating and not living but, you know, she didn't! Because it didn't effect her then, nobody asked about me then! I know what happened, I do, she got engaged and now she's all like 'Wait, I actually have to be a mom again, because my FIANCEE is asking me about my daughter and I don't know what she's doing or how she's doing. I haven't been a part of her life!' But she doesn't realize that you can't just start caring all of the sudden! It doesn't work like that! It does NOT!" I was on the verge of screaming. I was about to apologize for ranting when Troy broke the silence.

"Your mom's engaged?"

"Yeah." I said heavily, "She is. And I haven't even met him. But I guess he's asking about me, because that's why my mom is all of the sudden trying to force herself into my life even though it's kind of late for that and I don't honestly have much room for her in my new life. She is just forcing herself right in and not giving me a chance to explain myself or anything!"

"Well at least she's trying…" Troy said, trying to be positive. But I was on a rant so positive wasn't going to make me feel better.

"Yeah, well she's not TRYING to do the right thing though. Yes, she is _trying_ to appear more motherly and be a part of my life, but she is NOT trying to actually BE a good mom. She doesn't actually care about me or my welfare or how I'm actually doing, she just cares about looking like she does. Because, ya know, it looks kind of bad when somebody doesn't care about her own daughter and doesn't know anything about her daughter even though they live in the same freaking house! It has nothing to do with me, nothing to do with how I'm doing. Nothing. She probably wants me to go to the Fall Dance so she can have a chance to tell all her old friends about the engagement in person. Or so she can say, 'Yeah, I take care of my daughter. I took her to this dance in our old town and she's been wanting to go back. Yeah, I'm a good mom!' But she isn't!" I finished in shouts. I took deep breaths and then burst into tears. Teenage hormones, I'll tell you what.

Troy pulled me into a tight hug, "She does care about you, she just doesn't know where to start." He whispered.

"No she doesn't, she never has. I'm just a hopeless case, and she knows it, so she doesn't even try. There's no point 'cause I'll never get better…" I moaned into Troy's shirt, my voice muffled.

As I said that though, Troy pushed me away and held me at arm's length, his hands gripping my shoulders. He looked almost angry, "You are not a hopeless case. Don't say that, okay? Don't say you won't get better. You have gotten better. At first, yeah, you seemed pretty determined to be upset but look at you now!"

"Yeah, still-still b-bawling like a baby – " I interjected.

Troy stared at me, "Yeah, but you are actually talking to people! That's an improvement if ever. You're eating again, aren't you? You are more confident, aren't you? You have friends that care about you, you're a GENIUS for petesake, and you smile, laugh and joke more. If you, amazing, wonderful you, are a hopeless case then I don't even know. If YOU are a hopeless case, this world is screwed. And your mom knows that too. Trust me." He said a little softer.

"I-I-I do, b-b-but why-y would my-my mom just g-g-go and get in engaged like that!?" I blubbered, mopping tears from my face, as they had started flowing freely again, "She didn't even t-talk to me a-a-about it. I know we don't talk much b-but you would _think_ that she would talk to me about s-something like-like THIS! I've never even been properly introduced!"

"She was probably afraid of your reaction…" Troy said, trying to be reasonable.

"S-so what?! She thinks just throwing the engagement at me out of nowhere is gonna get a better reaction?" I yelled.

"People are stupid sometimes." Troy pressed on.

"No kidding!" I crossed my arms but Troy pulled me into another hug anyways. I let him and just stood there pressed against him, breathing in his scent, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He stroked my hair and I quieted myself. After a while I pulled away a little.

"Troy? What do I do about the Fall Dance? I don't want to go. I _really_ don't want to go." I looked up at him, waiting for his answer that would solve my problem.

"I don't know." Was all he said.

I gaped at him. He didn't know. How could he not know?

"I think you are gonna have to go whether you want to or not," Troy continued thoughtfully, "But if you are really that nervous about it, I guess you could try faking a sickness or something. I know it's lame," He added seeing my face, "and I know it probably won't work. And in that case, just try not to get caught alone with Ray, alright? Always be with some other people too. And here's my cell phone number, I can't believe I didn't give it you earlier, and just call me whenever, okay?" He dug through his pockets for a pen and wrote his number on my hand, "No paper." He shrugged when I was about to pull my hand away.

"Okay thanks. Thank you. I will."

We walked out of the park and Troy drove me home. I was getting out when Troy stopped me, "Ella," He started, I looked back at him, "Just stay safe. If you are that nervous about Ray, just get away from him. I don't want you getting hurt."

I nodded, "I will, but I don't think he would hurt me. He's still my friend I just… just don't want to go for some reason."

"Well, listen to your gut, it's usually right." Troy said looking serious.

"Okay. Well, right now my gut is telling me I need to eat some food now." I said, attempting to smile, to laugh off my own nervousness. It didn't work on me, or Troy.

"Call or text me anytime." Troy repeated.

"I will. Bye." I said shutting the door.

"Bye."

Troy waved and then drove off. I turned around and walked inside, ignoring my mom as I walked past her. I didn't answer her when she asked where I had been but just walked upstairs.

"Was that Troy again?" She called upstairs to me suspiciously. But I just slammed my bedroom door behind me.

I hardly slept that night. And when I packed that morning and got into the car I didn't say a word. The car ride was quiet and long. My mom glanced back at me every now and then but I hardly even moved.

I was nervous, really nervous, and I couldn't even explain why. The Fall Dance, I did not want to go to the Fall Dance. That's all I knew. Well…I knew one more thing. The reason I didn't want to go to the Fall Dance had something to do with Ray. Well, actually, it had a lot to do with Ray_. But why would I be_ _nervous about Ray?_ I kept asking myself. _He's my friend isn't he? Why would I be nervous about going to a dance with a friend? _But I knew why. Because, I wasn't sure if Ray was my friend anymore, if he ever actually had been. So I was afraid.

**Okay, I'm actually pretty proud of myself for getting this chapter out so quick! Yay! Not much is going on, I'll admit, but I wanted to get some Troy-Gabriella interaction in there since there won't be very much (if any) in the next chapter and since there wasn't much in the last chapter. Soo, we saw Gabriella's opinion on why her mom is all of the sudden caring and it's not too good, next is to hear her mom's side of the story! And again, showing that Gabriella does have some feelings for Troy but she isn't ready to admit it yet, or even accept it as it is. Fall Dance coming next! That should have a little more action in it.**

**Thank you all for reading and thanks to those who favorite-ed and story alert-ed my story, it means people actually like it, yay! And tons of thanks to my wonderful reviewers! I was amazed and SO happy when I saw how many reviews I got on the same day that I posted the chapter. That's just, well it's awesome and thank you so much: **hopelessromanticgurl , Bluebell140 , wildcats2016, pumpkinking5, Godschildtweety, yogaluva **!**


	20. Chapter 20

When we arrived at the inn we were staying at we unpacked in tense silence and both went straight to bed.

I didn't sleep though. I just laid in the bed thinking. Thinking how this was the longest time I had stayed in the same room as my mom in months. Thinking how tomorrow I would be seeing my old friend Ray again. Thinking how tomorrow evening we would be at the dance. Thinking about all my jumbled feelings towards Ray, how I wasn't sure what to think of him, how I knew that I really _should_ know what to think of him since he WAS my best friend. But was he? All these years, all the time I spent with him and I couldn't tell if he really was my best friend. He had been my ONLY friend, that was for sure. But was he my BEST friend? The answer should be yes. That's what I should've been thinking: Yes, Ray is my best friend. But I wasn't.

What had changed between Ray and me? I had never questioned the legitimacy of our friendship before! But then again, back then, I didn't question anything Ray said. Should I now, though? Or should I trust Ray? Was it right for me to suddenly question our friendship? Was Ray the bad friend, or was I the one being a bad friend by not trusting Ray? But Ray had never trusted my judgment either, had he? No he hadn't. So Ray had been a bad friend too. But then he wasn't my best friend, he was just a bad friend. But Ray had to be my best friend! All those years, and we had been very close to each other and so Ray HAD to be my best friend! But…

These thoughts circulated through my head as I drifted off to sleep. An uneasy sleep with unhappy dreams. When I woke up the next morning I had bags under my eyes and felt more tired than I had when I went to sleep.

I had had the nightmare again. The one with the flashing lights and the blood and the people in white. I had woken up thrashing and shivering. I hadn't had the nightmare in forever but somehow it had cropped up again.

I looked over at my mom's bed, wondering if I had woken her up last night. I prayed I didn't, because I didn't want her to know about my nightmares. She already thought I was "embarrassing." She wasn't in her bed though. She must've been in the bathroom. I laid down again, trying to fall asleep, grab a little more sleep.

I couldn't though, so I got up and found some clothes. I went over to the bathroom and found my mom wasn't in there so I got dressed and then sat on the bed and channel surfed, mildly curious about where my mother was, but not curious enough to look for her or call her. Around 9, as my stomach started growling the door opened and my mom walked in with a coffee for herself and a hot chocolate for me and two huge muffins.

"Here's some food." She said and handed me a gigantic chocolate chip muffin. She gave me an uneasy smile. Was this a peace offering? Was she feeling bad about forcing me here against my will? Only one way to know…

"I don't want to go to the dance, I want to go home." I said as I took a bite of my muffin. I didn't look at her.

"You're going."

Well okay then.

We spent the rest of the day visiting familiar places around town. I was starting to understand why my mom had wanted to leave. All these reminders of the happy life we used to have hurt. And it wasn't the good kind of hurt that led to acceptance. It was the kind of hurt that made you want to kick something. Because every time my mom pointed something out I would have to remind myself those days are over. Gone. Done. And yet I couldn't help secretly hoping that they weren't and that one day my dad would just show up and we would start from there like nothing happened, that one day he would tuck me into bed again. I used to leave the porch light on, so it would be easier for him to come home, but I stopped because he never did. I don't know why I kept kidding myself, but it was just too painful to think he would never ever come back. That he wouldn't hold my hand anymore or tickle my feet or kiss my forehead. And it made me angry, how unfair it was. Unfair how plenty of other people had their dads but I couldn't have mine.

He didn't even have to come back for good! He could just show up so that I had time to give him a proper goodbye, one more hug. He had died in a car crash. I had been in the car too but I was knocked out so I don't remember anything. I wish I had died with my dad. But I knew I shouldn't think that. My dad would've scolded me for thinking stuff like that. He would have… if he was here too. And yet I found it so hard to accept that he wasn't.

We headed back to the inn a little early so I could get dressed for the Fall Dance and then Ray was going to pick me up. My mom was going somewhere with Ray's mom. I think shopping or dinner or something.

I dressed quickly, threw my hair into a messy bun and smeared some makeup on. I didn't care about the way I looked; I just wanted to get it done with. My mom though, felt differently. She fixed my makeup, redid my hair and smoothed my dress.

She looked at me then and I looked back at her.

"Well have fun." She said shortly. I bit my tongue to keep myself from saying something rude back.

There was a knock on the door just in time, my self-control was waning.

"Hey Gabby!" Ray smiled at me. He was a skinny, tall guy, with spiky hair that didn't suit him and a large nose that did. His normally mouse brown hair was dyed black and it only made him look paler.

"Hi Ray…" I said, as my nervousness came back full blast. _Just remember what Troy said, _I told myself, trying to stay calm, _Just don't worry and don't go anywhere alone with Ray. It's only one night, you can do this._

"Shall we go then?" Ray asked looking at me with a glint in his eye that I didn't like. Was it greed? Hunger? Whatever it was I really didn't like it.

"Okay." I said, trying to calm my nerves. I knew I shouldn't be nervous around Ray. He was my best friend (or was he), I had known him forever (But did I know the real him), and there was no way he would hurt me or anything (was there?).

The drive was quiet. I didn't know what to say. All those weeks of talking only to Ray and I didn't know what to say. Ray didn't seem to care about talking. It was like he had no more convincing to do. Which scared me more than if he was talking to me. I almost wished he would start talking about Troy and tell me not to hang around him. This silence was uneasy, like the job he had been working on was done. Like there was nothing more to say because he had me right where he wanted me.

I shivered and stole a sideways glance at Ray. Where was it that he wanted me?

When we got there Ray helped me out. I didn't like the way he helped me out though. When Troy did it, it was a friendly gesture. But for some reason when Ray did it, it was like he was trying to make me feel weak and dependent again.

The dance was crowded and loud. I had never been to one before and I didn't really like it. I didn't really know anyone there and none of them remembered me. Who would, though? I had been a nobody, a leech clinging to Ray. I didn't have any other friends because I didn't want any other friends because Ray told me I didn't need any other friends. Ray and I stood in a corner of the dance. I sipped punch just to have something to do while Ray looked around in dislike. Sometimes his dark look of dislike lifted when he spotted a pretty girl, but they usually were with either friends or a date so he would resume his glare.

"Sooo…." Ray said after a while. He hadn't talked the whole time until now.

"This is kind of boring isn't it?" Ray said, waving his hand in the direction of the dancers.

"Yeah well… I suppose a few people are having fun. Dances just aren't my thing." I replied.

"Yeah mine either, I just thought it would be a little fun at least with someone else, but I guess I was wrong."

I nodded. We hadn't done anything for nearly an hour. "Do you know what time this is over? What time is it now?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager to leave…but I didn't do too well at that. Ray didn't seem to mind at all though, he almost seemed excited that I wanted to leave early.

"It's only 8, and it lasts until 10. We have two more hours to go. We could leave early if you want?" Ray suggested. But the way he said it made me uncomfortable.

"No, I'm fine. I was just wondering… I'm…um.. I'm going to get some more punch okay?" And I started walking before he could say anything else.

When I came back Ray was surrounded by a bunch of other guys with the same dyed hair and hunched dislike. I recognized some of them from last year. They were dark, sadistic people who never seemed to look at the bright side. It was almost like they enjoyed looking for the bad in everyone and they liked power too much. It was like they didn't have much control in their own lives so whatever control or power they did have they abused it and took advantage of it. I never liked them. They always made me nervous, more nervous than being alone with Ray in fact. I remembered asking Ray a long time ago to stop hanging around them, but he never listened. I never understood what he saw in them, I still didn't.

I inched slowly to the group, avoiding eye contact. "Hey Ray." I said quietly, trying to act like the other people weren't there.

"Hey Gabs!" Said Ray and he put his hand around my waist, something he had never done before. We just stood there, then, with his group around him, eyeing me skeptically. Some eyeing me with that same hunger I had seen Ray using in the car. It was awkward and I was unsure of what to do. None of them seemed to want to speak, and I wasn't about to start a conversation with them or near them. I had nothing to say to them and nothing to say in front of them. Ray's hand was hot and sticky around my waist and I didn't like how it seemed to be sliding lower and lower on my back. Finally I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Ray?" I said in nearly a whisper, "Ray can we leave. I … I have a-a headache."

"Sure we can leave Gabby!" Ray said too quickly, "Let's go…"

Ray led me through the crowd and I was able to unattach myself from him as we weaved through the many dancers. I sighed when I got outside into the cool night air.

"The car's over here!" Ray called to my left. I looked over and saw him. I hesitated slightly, then followed his voice and got in his car. He was already buckled. Well at least I was away from Ray's friends.

Ray started the car and soon silence settled down around us again.

"I'm just going to take you back to my house, because that's where our moms will be when they're done with the dinner. That's okay, right?" Ray looked at me, daring me to disagree. Challenge accepted.

"I'll be just fine if you drop me off at the inn."

"Come on, Gabby, you know I couldn't just leave you at the inn all alone! How are you going to get in your room without your mom?" Ray said, using a persuasive voice.

"It's no problem, I mean, we asked for two key cards, I have mine right… here?" I dug through my purse, searching for the key card, but I couldn't find it. "It should be right here!" I murmured.

"Gabby? Are you having some trouble?"

"I just, I can't find my key card and I could've sworn I brought it!" I started checking around the seat.

"Did you lose it at the dance?" Ray asked.

"It was in my purse so I don't think so, because I didn't bring my purse in with me. Maybe it fell out when I sat down?" I checked underneath me and behind me, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

"Are you sure you brought it?" Ray said, looking at me skeptically.

"I mean, I thought it had… I could've sworn – but I guess not…" I said, still glancing around.

"Well then should I just bring you to my house then? Because I am NOT going to just leave you in the lobby of that little inn all alone." Ray said already driving in the direction of his house.

"Yeah.. I – I guess so…"

I was still searching for the key card in a frenzy when Ray said cheerfully, "We're here!" Yes we were. And it was just the way I remembered it. Ray helped me out again with a small smile on his face that made me want to run away. But running away from Ray? That was crazy. I ignored the impulse and got out. I really shouldn't be nervous around Ray. And the idea of being alone in Ray's house shouldn't scare me either. I mean how many times was I over here alone with Ray last year? Nothing had changed so I shouldn't be scared or anxious or anything!

Ray unlocked the door and we walked in. He turned on the lights.

"Oh, since you're here," Ray said casually, "maybe I could show you something in my room. It's this project I've been working on for art.. I was going to send you a picture when it's finished but it's better in person."

"Okay." I said, still trying to keep my negative impulses at bay. Why did I want to get away from Ray so bad? I couldn't pinpoint what it was, but something about Ray was making me extremely nervous. The way he walked, a strange swagger in his step, like he knew something I didn't, like he had won a game that I was somehow a part of. The small smile that kept flitting across his face, daring me to ask what he was so happy about. That hungry light to his eye that seemed to make Ray appear wild and animalistic. The overly airy sound of his voice that couldn't quite hide his happiness… or was that triumph? All of them seemed to form together to make Ray seem a very scary person. Even though I knew he wasn't, of course. Or I thought I had known.

But how could I be afraid of my own friend. I mean, I wasn't. Of course I wasn't. I was just being silly. Ray was my FRIEND. Friends aren't scary. I just had to keep telling myself that, that was all. Friends aren't scary.

I followed Ray upstairs as he chatted away.

"Yeah, it isn't quite finished, but I think it's coming along great. You'll really like it, I bet…" We got to his door and he opened it for me. "Lady's first." He said with a half bow.

I walked into his messy bedroom and glance around. An unmade bed, a full trashcan, dirty laundry on the floor and a desk covered in papers and trash. A typical boy's bedroom. But I didn't see any art project.

"Where's the art proj-?" I started, looking around when I heard the door click close behind me.

Ray was closer to me than I thought he had been. His face mere inches away from mine.

"Ah, well, I kind of exaggerated. The art project really isn't that great. I have much better things to show you." Ray whispered, the hungry glint in his eye nearly glowing in the darkness of his room.

"Ray, what are you doing, Ray!" I said, my voice going high.

"I've waited for this moment forever! I thought it would never happen when I found out you were moving, and then that Troy. For a second I thought he beat me to it." Ray said walking closer as I backed away.

"Ray, what are you talking about?" I squeaked as my hands touched the wall behind me.

"You are so beautiful Gabriella. You know that don't you? But you don't, do you? I've always had a crush on you Gabriella. Ever since 3rd grade. But you never noticed me, not until we were 10. And then I was so happy. Because you noticed me. But it wasn't enough. It never is." Ray breathed, I felt his hot breathe on my neck face.

"Ray, stop it!" I said, my voice at a very high pitch and very uncommanding.

"You did anything I told you to and listened to anything I said. So why won't you listen now Gabby?" Ray reached out and grabbed my wrist.

"Because –"

"Because of Troy! It's his fault!" Ray snarled, "He didn't want me to have you, but he doesn't understand you like I do. He doesn't know ME. That I get what I want."

"Ray STOP!" I shrieked, trying to jerk my wrist away from him, my back now pressed against the wall.

"Come on Gabriella." Ray crooned, "Don't be afraid. I'm your savior, aren't I? I was there when no one else was. You need me."

"Not anymore." I said through clenched teeth.

"All those years I helped you, I was just working my way up to this, but I was too late. I didn't make my move in time. But not this time. I'm getting what I've wanted since forever this time." Ray said, groping my dress, searching for the zipper.

"NO!" I screamed and I stomped hard on his foot, "Get off me!" And then I jerked myself free from Ray and bolted to the door. But Ray was quicker, and he blocked it with himself.

"_You need me Gabby! You will listen to me! Because you ALWAYS do!_" Ray hissed.

"No-I-Won't!" I yelled back. Ray wasn't my friend. He never had been.

"YOU WILL! YOU WILL BECAUSE I KNOW YOU GABBY, AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME! YOU NEED ME! I _OWN_ YOU!" Ray screamed at me, his face red and contorted.

"It's just one night, one night I'm asking for." Ray crooned again, changing tactics, "Don't tell me you can resist…"

"What's wrong with you?!" I shouted in disgust.

But Ray didn't answer, he just lunged at me, shoving his lips on mine. I pushed him off and kicked him, aiming for anywhere on him. He just laughed.

"You are just so pretty Gabriella." He repeated.

"And you're disgusting! All these years and this is all you wanted?! You aren't my friend! You never were! Get away from me, get away!" I shrieked.

"We are friends Gabriella, I just want to move past the friend zone, that's all."

"No you're a creep! A jerk who's only interested in my body! You were never a friend! You never cared about me! You just cared about having me!"

"And Troy's much better?" Ray sneered.

"Anything's better than YOU!"

"Are you sure? Because, I'll tell you something, Troy feels the exact same way. He just wants your body too! That's all! THAT'S ALL!"

"No Ray." I said in a low and deadly voice, "Troy doesn't feel that way…. BECAUSE HE ISN'T YOU!" And then I kicked him again, wrenched the door open, ran down the stairs and a few moments later found myself walking in the chilly air, shivering from the cold and from all the yelling.

Ray wasn't my friend. He never had been. He just liked having me around because it made him feel powerful, in control of at least one thing. Well that was over. At least the truth was out now and I was no longer his blind follower. But it still hurt. It still hurt to know that my only friend had been a fraud the whole time. I took deep breathes of the cold night air, trying to calm down. I wasn't walking in any specific direction except away. Because that's all I knew I wanted to do. I just wanted to get away.

I knew I shouldn't beat myself up over it, but I did anyways. I mean, how could I have not realized sooner! _Because Ray was good, _a voice answered, _because Ray got you when you were most vulnerable. When all you wanted was a friend, someone to understand you, and when you didn't care where the help came from, who it was. _

But how could anyone be that cruel!? Part of me wanted to come up for an excuse for Ray's behavior, but the bigger part of me knew there WAS no good excuse for Ray. Ray was over. Ray wasn't my friend and never had been. And for some reason, that wasn't hard to accept. Maybe because I had already kind of known all along.

I huffed and pulled my shawl tighter around me, but it didn't offer much warmth. It was really just meant as an accessory. I looked around finally, stopping to see where I had ended up. It was dark and hard to tell at first, but suddenly it dawned on me where I was and I could not believe I hadn't recognized the place at first sight, the place that was so achingly familiar it seemed to almost call out to me.

It was my home. Well, my old home. I didn't live there anymore and it was someone else's house by now. Without fully realizing what I was doing I wandered up the yard to the house. I went around the side and saw the tree house, now claimed by some other young child. Toys scattered the ground and a small pool had been put up. The new owners were starting a garden too. But the rest of it was exactly as I remembered it. I almost expected my dad to come out the back door and call me inside for bed.

But as I stood there shivering it never happened. It remained brutally silent. Slowly I made my way back to the front and peeked in a window. There was a family in there watching a movie together. They were happy and content. Didn't they know that this house was not meant for happy people? Didn't they know that this place was a place of mourning now? How could they just settle in there?

This was my house, my home! But then it wasn't anymore, was it? It used to be. But that house, like Ray and like my dad, were done. Those days were gone. A new family was here with lives to get on with. And I had my own life to get on with too, didn't I?

But I didn't want to get on with it, I didn't want to move on! Because in moving on I was sure that daddy would be left behind. I shuffled to one of the window shutters and searched in one of its larger cracks. I pulled out a wrinkled brown paper in a bag. The note I had left was still there. It was a note I left behind for my dad in case he ever came back and wanted to know where we went. A note I left in some delusional fit of hope. I took the paper and ripped it to pieces. He wasn't coming back.

But then staring at the pieces in my hand, forcing myself to accept that daddy was never coming home I collapsed and curled up in the grass under the window. And then I cried. Just quiet tears. Cold and wet, like great rain drops sliding down my face. Those days were done.

I continued like that until a hand touched me on the shoulder. I flinched and then turned to find my mom leaning over me.

"I want to go home." I said, and in getting up I went straight to the car.

We packed quickly as soon as we got back to the inn and then we headed off into the darkness.

We were nearing home when my mom finally spoke, "I'm sorry Gabriella."

I didn't say anything back.

"I thought… it's just. I'm getting married and I had to tell you sometime and I knew you would be upset so –"

"So you decided to just shout it at me out of nowhere without an explanation or anything. Yeah, that wouldn't upset me."

"I'm sorry, I just, I didn't know what to do. Gabriella, you've changed so much and I didn't know how you would react to everything and then I didn't know where to start but I wanted to start. You don't realize how hard it is to be a mom. I didn't know where to start, so I just started where we left off and that was when you wanted to go back to our old town. I thought I was helping!"

"And my begs for you not to take me….?"

"I don't know. I was just so convinced it would help. I had convinced myself I was being a good mom, that I was a part of your life, that you would end up being happy that I took you to the dance in the end. But I – I never gave you a chance to tell me what you wanted, I never took a second to figure out where we were, what had changed. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I accused you. I was stupid and just assumed that nothing had changed during those weeks, but of course they had, of course you had. And you're right, I haven't been there when you needed me."

"It's okay." I said grudgingly, " But, but are you really getting engaged? Already? You can hardly know he guy, we've only been here for a few months!"

"Well, I've known him longer than that." My mom said with a half smile, "I mean, he is a big part of the reason why we moved to Albuquerque…"

"WHAT!?" I yelled.

She stopped the car.

"What?" I said again.

"Well it is partly to do with my job, but-"

"But it really isn't! So how long?! How long have you been seeing each other? HMMM?"

"Well we had always been friends and when your father died," I cringed at this, "when your father died he was an immense comfort and we grew closer until just last year we started, well, dating."

My mind flew to Ray, the way he had taken advantage of my pain. Had this man done the same with my mom?

"So you were just done with dad, just like that then. You just moved right on, leaving me behind and you didn't even tell me!"

"Well you were hurting, I didn't think it best to tell you about it. I mean, look at how you are reacting now!"

"YEAH," I yelled, "I'M REACTING PRETTY BAD TO THIS BECAUSE YOU'VE HAD A SECRET BOYFRIEND FOR A YEAR!"

"Well what did you expect, people move on Gabriella! Just because you can't - !"

"Um, moving on requires moving on from something! You didn't move on, you just acted like dad never existed! That's not moving on!"

"It's better than what you did!" My mom yelled back, her coolness gone.

"Sorry, I'll act like dad never existed too then and we can pretend it has always been just the two of us and live happily ever after! Let's just burn anything that links ourselves to him and never ever mention him and forget abut everything having to do with him! BECAUSE APPARENTLY MISSING MY DAD IS WRONG!"

"Well there's a difference between missing him and then still thinking he's alive. He's NOT!"

"I know." I said quietly, "I know he isn't coming back. He never will. But you know what I learned? I was thinking and even though he's dead, he isn't gone. He still was my dad and he still is. He's never really gone. And you know what else I wondered? What he would think if he saw the way you are acting right now? What he would say to you if he heard what you just said, found out what you are doing. I did have a dad, you did have a husband. And it's okay to miss him mom. It's okay to cry over him sometimes."

The rest of the car ride was in silence.

**Thanks for reading! Big chapter for me! sorry it took a while, it's been hard getting onto the computer to type! (My brothers are super obsessed with mind craft right now :p) Soooo, Ray's true colors are shown and Gabriella is finally done with him and is also starting on the path from moving on from her father's death. Gabriella and her mom bond a little bit until...well until her mom admits that she has been keeping a secret from Gabriella. But really, the most important part of this was to just show Gabriella is done with Ray and this really is the start of accepting her father is gone and then moving on from that. Some Troy coming up next? And I agree with anonymous, we haven't had much Sharpay in a while. **

**Thanks for the favorites, alerts and of course REVIEWS! Especially...hopelessromanticgurl , Godschildtweety, pumpkinking5, yogaluva and to my anonymous reviewer, it means a lot!**


	21. Chapter 21

When we got home late that night I didn't say anything. I just got out of the car, grabbed my stuff and went in. I didn't know what to say.

So much had changed in one day and I wasn't sure what was what anymore. I threw myself onto my bed and started a mental list, trying to organize the mess that was my life.

Okay, so first things first, Ray wasn't my friend and never had been. That one was easy enough; I had half guessed that for a while now.

The next one was harder, but I got it over with. My dad was dead. There. And he wasn't ever coming home. Simple as that. Except it really wasn't. I would pretend it was, though, at least for now, because it would be too much for me to handle right now if I didn't.

And then the last one. This one was the one I just couldn't wrap my head around. I refused to. It was just too far. I could handle the fact Ray wasn't my friend and the fact my dad was dead, but not this. Anything but this.

I took a deep breath and said out loud, "My mom's getting married." It was just so impossible, so crazy, so out of the blue. And yet, it was true. I kept hoping my mom would just jump in and yell "JUST KIDDING! I'm not getting married!" but I knew that that was about as possible as my dad bursting in my room and telling me he had never been dead.

So, there it was. She was getting married. She was engaged to a man I hadn't even met. And on top of it all, they had already been secretly dating for a year. A WHOLE year! And she wondered why I was angry. Oh, I don't know, maybe because everything she's said to me has been a lie! What else had she been hiding from me? Oh yeah, I remember, that her boyfriend was the reason we moved here in the first place! Job, shmob. We didn't mover here for her job, we moved here for _his_ job. So she could be closer to him and ignore me. I hated her and him, I hated everyone!

I punched my pillow but when that didn't satisfy I screamed into it. That didn't work either so I flung it away and then started grabbing other things to throw. My hand found my phone at one point and as it hit the wall and the back and battery broke off I remembered Troy and how I had his number.

It was late. Well actually it was early. Really early in the morning, about one or two. And so I knew most people would be asleep, but maybe just maybe Troy wouldn't be or maybe his phone would wake him up. Either way I had to try. I had to do something. Talk to someone. And Troy said I could call him anytime…

I collected the pieces of my phone and put it back together. The back was always popping off so it didn't really matter. Then I went through my contact list (It was embarrassingly short) until I found Troy and pressed call.

It rang for what seemed forever and I was about to just hang up when I heard the deep, ragged sound of Troy's voice. He had obviously just woken up. I'd apologize later.

"Hello?" He grunted.

"Hey Troy, it's ah.. me, Gabriella." I said. I felt better just hearing his voice, no matter how rough, grumpy, and tired it sounded.

"Gabriella? What's wrong? Is everything okay?!" Troy's voice was getting louder in panic.

"Everything's fine. I'm fine." _Not._

"So…" Troy said, slightly impatient. I was almost insulted at the impatience in his voice when I remembered that it was 2 in the morning and he had just been woken up by me for no apparent reason.

"Well I mean I'm not fine, but I'm not in dire trouble. Troy I need you." I paused and for some reason felt uncomfortable leaving it at that so I added as a second thought, "I need to talk to someone, anyone."

"What's up?" Troy said in that tone that meant I could tell him anything, that tone that held that concern he saved just for me. "I'll try to listen best I can, but I'm kind of tired so…ya know, if you start hearing snores on the other side..." I could hear the laughter in his voice and almost picture that mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Actually, you're right." I said, attempting to suppress a giant yawn myself, giving up and yawning anyways, "Maybe we could talk tomorrow? I mean, today, but later..?"

"That sounds like a brilliant plan Ella! I'm sorry, had a long day. A bit slee-ee-ee-eepy." Troy said through a yawn.

"No it's fine. I'm sorry for waking you up. Basketball practice?"

"You betcha. Well, night. Sleep good Ella and have sweet dreams. I lo- I'll see you tomorrow...erm...today...whatever...bye!" And Troy succumbed to another long yawn.

"Bye." I murmured to Troy and hung up. A week or so ago I would've ignored Troy's tiredness and told him anyway, my thoughts focused on myself, my problems, me. I wouldn't have considered the fact that Troy was tired or uncomfortable. Until now Troy was just Troy, there was no question as to whether he would listen to me or do something for me, he would. I had taken him for granted.

But now I realized how much Troy had done for me since the beginning of this year and I realized how ungrateful and selfish I'd been. I wish Troy had a problem he needed to talk about. An issue he needed help dealing with. Then I could've helped him and we'd be even. Simple as that. I didn't like feeling like I was in his debt. Of course Troy would never see it that way, but I couldn't shake it. It was like when he had called me his friend really early on and it had made me feel like I had to consider him a friend back. In my crazy mind I felt like in giving me so much, Troy was asking for so much from me as well. He wasn't, but I felt like he was because that's how most of the world works.

I sighed and snuggled under my covers, still in my dress. I wanted to talk to Troy, have him fix my problems but I didn't want to be deeper in debt to him.

The next morning I woke up really late. I was sore and itchy, my hair was knotted in a huge heap on my head with a mixture of bobby pins and hairspray, and my dress seemed to have been permanently creased. I thought to myself, smiling, that this would be the perfect time to call myself a hot mess. I found my way to the bathroom and showered away all the reminders of last night, stuffing my wrinkled dress under my bed for "safe keeping". I changed into a pair of comfortable shorts and a pretty, flowy tank top that had lace around the top. I did my hair in a pony tail that was just messy enough to look casual but pretty. I wanted to look good for Troy. I didn't really know why, I just did.

So I put on some cover-up. Ta-da! Me at my fanciest.

I called Troy then, smiling as I heard his voice greet me with a friendly hello.

"Hey Troy! So you aren't exhausted anymore?"

"Nope, good night's rest did the trick. Sooo.. you want to talk? Want to go down to the pond again and walk and talk?"

"Yeah, that'd be perfect." I said, an unfamiliar nervous tweak to my voice.

"I'll grab us some breakfast on my way there and meet you, say, at the bench next to the tree that grows right on the edge of the pond?" Troy said.

"Yeah, I know what you're talking about." Of course I did, that was pretty much _our_ bench. "See you soon. Bye!"

I pulled on my sneakers and strolled downstairs. My mom was in the kitchen. She turned slightly as I walked past to the front door but didn't say anything. Neither did I. it looked like we were back to our old ways. So much for getting involved in my life…

"Where are you going Gabriella?" I knew my mom was trying to sound polite and just kindly concerned, like a mother ought to, but the words came out stiff and awkward. I froze.

"Just to the park." I replied, attempting cordial friendliness as well.

"Oh, okay." She turned her back on me again and went about her morning routine. I guess that was as motherly as it was going to get. Fine by me, though.

I opened the front door and happily breathed in the crisp fall air. Now that Ray and the Fall Dance were said and done I could finally enjoy fall, my favorite season. I walked at a brisk pace to the park, stopping to pet the occasional stray cat that wound its way between my legs. Without the burden of Ray and my whole Sunday to spend with Troy I was feeling pretty good.

I arrived at the park shortly and found the bench Troy asked me to meet him at. I sat and waited, quietly singing a song my dad used to sing to me. I hadn't sung in forever, I hadn't felt good enough too.

Troy showed up about half an hour later than me. He walked up behind so I didn't notice him until he gently prodded my arm with a fist holding a bag. The sweet aroma of fresh donuts drifted up to my nose and my stomach growled.

"I didn't know you sang." Troy said with a smile.

"I don't." I said, taking the bag from him and scooting over to make room for Troy on the bench, "I just… I don't sing" I finished lamely.

"Okay then, so that was just you, I don't know, breathing?" Troy laughed, sitting down next to me.

"Well yeah... I was singing, but I don't _sing_." I said exasperated, grabbing one of the donuts and stuffing it in my mouth quite unattractively.

"So," Troy said after we finished eating, "What do you want to talk about?" He nonchalantly placed his arm around my shoulders, stretching in contentment.

"Well, I found out Ray isn't my friend… and never was." I added ruefully.

"I'm sorry Ella, that's really-" Troy started.

"It's fine. That isn't actually what is bothering me, I just thought you should know." I didn't add the only reason Ray was nice to me was because he wanted, he wanted my body.

"Oh, okay then." Troy said, letting out a long breath.

"Yeah, the dance was awful and I finally saw Ray for what he really is: a butt-face." Troy laughed at that, but I continued, "But, well, it's really about my mom's engagement. Her boyfriend, or fiancée really, well she's been dating him for a year, and she didn't even tell me. And the reason we even moved here was because of him and not because of her job! She lied to me! She uprooted our whole lives and her reason for why was a lie!"

"I'm really sorry." Troy started, his thumb gently massaging my shoulder, "But at least there's a bright side to it."

"What bright side? How can there be a bright side to my own mom lying to me?!"

"Well I admit, there isn't a bright side to that, but if she hadn't started dating that guy and you hadn't moved here we never would have met." Troy said, another one of those rare moments of tenderness that made me squirm uncomfortably.

"Yeah well, I guess…" I said, twitching Troy's hand off my shoulder, "Still, how could she lie to me and keep that secret for so long?! She never once mentioned him, ever, not until I found out on my own anyways!" I pounded my fist angrily on the bench. Troy steadied my hand though, for he had moved his arm from my shoulders.

"People are stupid, like I said, and make mistakes. She probably thought you wouldn't be able to handle it."

"How could she-!" I yelled, but Troy cut across me.

"People. Are. Stupid." Troy repeated, "Whatever was going through her mind, at first anyways, was that she was doing what was best for you."

I was about to continue protesting but Troy talked right over me, "I know it's hard and no one likes being lied to, but you have to understand that even though what she did was wrong, and really stupid, she thought it was what was best for you."

"Well I'm tired of her doing what she thinks is 'best for me'! Maybe she should actually get to know me first."

"I agree with that." Troy said, wrapping his arm around me once again, "You're a pretty great person to get to know."

"Sorry. I don't know what I expected to get out of this. I just don't want to believe it. But, you're, well you're right. People make mistakes. I'm just having trouble getting over them because there's been so many I guess."

Troy and I kept talking for a while and by the end it was late in the afternoon.

"I should probably head home soon." I said, squinting at the slowly lowering sun.

"I'll drive you." Troy offered, "I can just stop at your house on my way home."

"Okay." I said, not wanting to be rude and reject him even though I was kind of looking forward to the walk. And before I knew what was going on Troy had scooped me up and we were off toward his truck, my arms around his neck.

"Troy put me down!" I yelled, kicking my legs, "Not again! I didn't enjoy it the first time, why would you think I'd enjoy it this time?!"

"Well I thought it was what was best for you…" Troy said with a smile, setting me down next to his truck.

"UGH." I groaned and flung the door open and hopped in. We laughed all the way back though. I wasn't sure what it was but just being around Troy put me in a good mood.

As we sat in the car I looked him over, wondering what it was about him that made me so happy. The happy crinkles around his eye when he laughed, his bright blue eyes, that smile he was so prone to give, his throaty laugh, his calm voice, or, well there were a hundred other things to name. Sitting there surveying him, I realized it didn't really matter what it was about him, or why he was so nice to me. It just was, and I was content to leave it at that.

He stopped in front of my house. I opened the door and stepped out.

"Wait." Troy said, grabbing my hand. It was warm and rough, "I have to ask you something."

"Ask away." I said, giving him a mock bow.

"Do you want to go to the Christmas Dance with me? It'd be fun."

"I don't know." I said quietly, not looking at him, still holding his hand, "I didn't really have fun at my last dance, to be honest… Then again, I was with a jerk so that might have something to do with it but I don't know really."

"Please. I promise it will be fun and we'll get to hang out with all our friends. And it will be a once in a lifetime chance to see me dressed up." He added with a smirk.

"Fine!" I said, pulling away from him, "Fine! I couldn't miss an opportunity like that!"

And then he was gone, and I was standing there watching his car leave and for the first time in a long time I felt like everything was going to be all right. At least my mom had told me the truth instead of lying to me until the end. Because I realized that even though it hurts to learn the truth sometimes, it's better than being blind to it. And maybe now that the truth was out my mom and I could start maybe working out some of our problems. It wasn't exactly something I was particularly looking forward too, but I knew that it was a step forward with her.

Either way I couldn't help but be glad that no matter what happened Troy would be there for me. Someone stable in my ever changing life, and someone I trusted.

Trust. Ray's words came back to me and I felt myself cringe. _He just wants your body too._ But I stuck to what I said. Troy wasn't like that and I would trust him.

How could I even consider believing Ray, someone who had only told me lies for as long as I can remember?

**Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm so sorry for taking so long. School and sports have started and I have been as busy as a bee. 101 reviews! WOOHOO! Thank you sooooo much. So this is a pretty short chapter but it's leading up to a bigger one, I promise. And I'll be working really hard on the next one so hopefully I'll be able to post it sooner than I did this one. I added more Troy and Gabby time, and next chapter hopefully there will be some Sharpay interference. **

**Thank you for all the followers and favorites and special thanks to my reviewers, the feedback really keeps me going, thanks to…. **hopelessromanticgurl, wildcats2016 , pumpkinking5, Anonymous/Guest, yogaluva, MiSsToNiBaBy


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